Tag Archives: 50 Shades WTF

So you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole . . .

Hi, ho, it’s Kermit the Frog.  I mean Alice.  Sorry to disappoint.  I wanted to welcome all my new readers.  Hey.  Come back!  Where are you going?  There is some great stuff here, if I can just dig it out.  Wait, that’s a gum wrapper.  Hold on a sec.

When I found out I had gotten Freshly Pressed, I realized that my blog was a mess, so I did what I normally do when someone unexpected visits my house.  I shoved everything into closets.  See those categories on the right?  Closets.  There’s stuff in there, but I haven’t the faintest idea what.  There’s also categories up above.  I’m pretty sure you can find more about my somewhat unhealthy obsession with 50 Shades of Crap up there.  If you dare.  If you’re even more daring, you can look under the Children’s T.V. reviews, but I warn you.  Dora and Bob the Builder are there, and even worse, that scary freaking Cyclops cucumber from Yo Gabba Gabba.  Yeah, that’s a show.

The Village Monstersof Yo Gabba Gabba

The Village Monsters
of Yo Gabba Gabba

I have another closet entitled “My Mad Tea Party”.  That one’s safe.  I shoved all my friends and their blogs in there.  Check them out.  I’m certain I’ve left some off because I have ADHD which makes me

Anyway, you can also try checking the comments.  Anyone brave enough to comment here is worth checking out.  Also, anyone who comments is automatically enrolled in Smut University, where I am the one and only professor.  My class is 50 Shades Flunked, and we’re covering 50 Shades Freed.  I am fully qualified to teach because I have multiple degrees (no, seriously, I do).  The way to get ahead here is to comment (i.e. participation).  You can also try answering my questions, but your answers don’t actually have to be correct or anything.  There are many other students, though some of them may not realize they’re enrolled.  So like a real university, pretty much.

My students are a varied bunch.

My students are a varied bunch.

Usually my classes are on Mondays, but I’m a bit behind with the pressing business.  Also this real life of mine has been endlessly entertaining what with my husband getting pneumonia (making this 3 out of 4 family members who’ve had it), my mother having knee replacement surgery, and our plumbing exploding.  And I have a job, but don’t worry, I rarely let that get in the way.

I do plan on getting my lesson plans done as soon as possible.  Meaning as soon as I can stomach another chapter of the Dumb and the Brainless.  There’s a new feature I have planned as well, thanks to the success of my Epic Quest post.  I’m going to post on my weight loss quest on Wednesdays, since that’s the day you get over the hump (supposedly).  As far as other posts, I’m not sure.  I did ask for audience participation, which means you are free to suggest crap for me to cover.  Clearly I will do almost anything here.

In my quest to get healthy, blood may be spilled.

In my quest to get healthy, blood may be spilled.

I know there’s something I’m forgetting . . . oh, yes, Sad Pony and Squirrel.  You might be curious about those two.  You might be tempted to think they are just pictures of animals and not real but DON’T.  Ponies and Squirrels are very real, thanks very much.  I’m sure you’ve seen them.  Sad Pony is just another pony, only he’s sort of depressed.  Especially since people keep mistaking him for Eeyore, who is a depressed donkey, not a pony.  And Squirrel is somewhat hyper.  You’ve probably seen him racing across telephone wires on his way to another Squirrel kegger party up in your attic.

See.  He's a real pony.  Shun the disbelievers!

See. He’s a real pony. Shun the nonbelievers!

I'm up in your attic right now.

I’m up in your attic right now.

I guess that about covers it.  Well, it covers what I can think of at the moment.  Stay tuned, it will be interesting.  Or something.