Tag Archives: 80s video reviews

WTF Are They Saying Songs: Come On, Eileen?

I have been singing along to the radio my whole life, despite not knowing what the lyrics, and sometimes even the titles, are most of the time. This is not my fault as the singers are often not clear, and DJs rarely help as they are too busy talking about fascinating stuff like their toenail clippings, just because they can (I want to be a DJ).  Anyway, some songs I have sung the wrong way for years.  Sure I could look it up on that newfangled Google or look at a lyric video, but some of those translations are done so badly I could do just as well myself.

So I will.

One of my favorite songs from the 80’s is “Come on, Eileen” sung by the Dexys Midnight Runners.  You remember that group right?  Me neither, thanks Google.  Anyway, this song is a classic example of not understanding what the heck the singer is saying.  I mean I really don’t understand ANYTHING except most of the main chorus and, ironically, the nonsensical “Too ra loo ra too ra loo ra yay” part.  I can imagine the group think that day.

Guy 1: We need something to go after “Come on, Eileen”.

Guy 2: Why not just drink some more and slur the lines again?

Guy 3: We could always use “Wo wo wo” or “Na na na”.

Guy 1: Been done.  What’s that on the telly?

Guy 2: Buncha puppets on a kiddie show babbling.

Guy 3: Bloody brilliant! Let’s use that.

So they solved that part fine, and they knew they wanted to talk about this Eileen chick who wore that dress and was dirty.  They could have said “Come on, Eileen go take a bath” but the too ra loos were too good to pass up I guess.  All that was left was to drink heavily, strap on some overalls before remembering their shirts (see the video) and sing!  I have written the lyrics to the best of my understanding while playing the song over and over.  Good luck.

Blame these guys.

Come on, Eileen

Poo ol Johnny raid

I sat upon the radio

But the billion hearts is unknown

Our mother’s strange

Saddle on who’s them

Who’s crumb? (Who’s crumb?)

So brittle (So brittle!)

Now I must say “cold and never”

Come on, Eileen

Too ra loo ra too ra loo ra yay!

Gonna sing this like a boner!


Chorus: (sort of understandable – sobriety break?)

Come on Eileen (oh I swear)

By all means

At this moment, you mean everything

You wore that dress

I confess but you’re dirty

Oh, come on Eileen!


These people round here

But now I suck

I’m on my face

So it’s time to wonder

What pride is

But blah blahhh

Blah blaaaahddy

We are just so young and clever (What’s that for?)

Too ra loo ra too ra loo ra yay

I hope it’s true foreverrr


Come on Eileen

(Oh I swear) By all means

Oh come on let’s

take off everything!

You and that dress (I confess)


Oh come on Eileen


Lots more too la roos

and Oh Eileens


And that is all I’ve got.  When it came to the “blah blahs” I honestly, after multiple times listening, could not make out anything approximating any word in this language.  I’m not saying I got the lyrics right, but if you do go and look up lyrics, you’ll often find out that the ones you thought they were saying probably made more sense than the ones they actually sang.

Speaking of nonsensical (too ra loo ra!), here’s the video.

Truly fascinating.  It starts out with what looks like old footage of girls going gah gah over some guy.  The video does write out (literally) the first line which is “Poor old Johnnie Ray”.  I’m not sure who Johnny Ray was, or is, but girls dug him and one put his name on her shoes (that’s devotion).

So you might think – this song is about Johnny Ray?  No?  Well maybe about the old pictures of two children (labeled “me” and “Eileen”).  Not sure, because we switch to the 80’s (I think?) with a bunch of hairy guys wearing only overalls and playing banjos, fiddles, and – an accordion?  How did hillbillies get to the city?  Did they hit a bubbling brew?  Whatever happened, now they’re here singing on a street corner and oh look, that must be Eileen coming by with a friend and a baby stroller and – how nice they are trying to assault her.

Look at that armpit hair! Come on, Eileen!

“Ohhh Eileen, come on!  You’re so dirty!”  I can’t imagine why she would want to get away from them.  Those “too la roos”?  They turn out to be a gang rallying cry as they all get together and run up behind her and one of them grabs her and – suddenly she likes him?

And what did it all have to do with Johnnie Ray?  WHYYYY?

I don’t have answers, folks, cause I didn’t even try to look them up (saying they were there).  Maybe it’s better not to know.  I certainly liked “She Bop” a lot better before I found out what that one was about (Cyndi didn’t need a guy cause – um – magazines) and the music is great so I guess it doesn’t matter.  It’s just more thoughts that rattle around my head while I mindlessly sing along.




Goofy 80s: Oh, Boy George!

No, I didn’t forget a comma.  I’m talking about 80’s icon, Boy George.  When I was a little kid, he was a hot topic of conversation.  Like the brilliant joke about the three bathrooms: Boy, Girl, Boy George.  There was a glam movement in the 80’s, when men wore makeup, punk or long hair, feminine (or just plain ugly) clothes, etc.  I’m not sure why.  I am a woman and expected to wear makeup, for instance, and I find it annoying.  Same with bras.  Why would you want one if you didn’t need the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder? (I am truly channeling elementary school here.)  But back to George.  He was part of a group called “The Culture Club” which, speaking of school, sounds like something they made you join for a foreign languages credit.

Reminds me of some of my family portraits.

Reminds me of some of my family portraits.

Anyway, this was the perfect time for our Boy George to emerge from his . . . saucer?  I dunno.  Today I bring you one of his videos, which is remarkable for the aesthetic value . . . pfft, not really.  His videos are goofy as heck.  And in the case of this one, so irritating I want to put a wine screw through my ear.

What video could I be talking about?  Well it’s this video is of his oh so entertaining song “Do you really want to hurt me?” in which Boy George whines “do you really want to hurt me?” roughly 5,000 times.  YES.  Yes, Boy George, I really want to hurt you.  I really want to make you cry.  Please quit singing that over and over.

I side with Angry Cat.

I side with Angry Cat.

If you thought the song was annoying, then you should really check out the video.  It’s annoying too, but also goofy and mildly hilarious. We start in an old-time British court room complete with judge in wig, except it’s not exactly your average courtroom.  First off we have a crew of black gospel singing ladies swaying back and forth in one booth.  Then in another booth we have, I swear I am not  making this up, a bunch of people in black face wearing glittery hats and also swaying back and forth.  Clearly Boy George is being tried for making such a tasteless video.  But we’ve only just begun, folks.

He puts on his sparkly sunglasses and suddenly the video says we are in “The Gargoyle Club, Soho, 1936”.  Oh, goody, a history lesson with this goofy dork.  I can’t wait.  Boy George wears a really rockin’ sweat suit that’s clearly been bedazzled with something, possibly a bouquet of roses, I’m not sure.  He also wears his signature black hat that one of my children comments looks Amish.  Yeah.  Boy George.  Amish written all over that guy.  Especially with that . . . that hair.  I think it’s hair.  He begins to dance around the club, and wow, his dance moves are so awesome I’m pretty sure I could do them while drunk.  He sways back and forth, shaking his hips and doing this funny little twirl while he minces around the room.  At this point, I can’t imagine ANYONE who doesn’t want to hurt him.

Boy George channeling Raggedy Ann.

Boy George channeling Raggedy Ann.

The guests are bizarre, but still stare at Boy George like the weirdo he is, and he is yanked away by . . . some guys.  The fashion police, possibly.  Then we start flipping back and forth.  We’re in the courtroom.  Now, oh oh, flashback glasses, we’re at a pool.  Once again, the video informs us we are at “The Dolphin Square Health Club, 1957”.  Sure we are.  George walks out of the pool and starts his little dancing jig again, where people stare in horror, naturally.  Check out 2:08 where George adds a little hop to his dance steps.  Genius.

Two more members of the fashion police attempt to grab him, but no dice, George disappears and we’re . . . back in the courtroom!  Yay!   Everyone is getting down except the judge, who is all mad.  George is arrested, charged no doubt with breaking all laws of good taste, and tossed in a jail cell.  Now he IS sadfaced.  And still singing.  The gospel ladies show up at the door, grovin’ on down, and George walks out of his cell which apparently was . . . unlocked?  Come ON, judge, you should have kept him locked up at least until the 1990’s.

Why are they all picking on meeeee?  Do they want to make me cry?

Why are they all picking on meeeee? Do they want to make me cry?

Finally he emerges out on a stairwell, dances a bit more, and The End is mercifully plastered across the screen.  And I just – wtf was that about?  I have no idea.  Why did Boy George choose a courtroom with blackface people?  Why did he go to two historical places and freak people out?  Why did he then come back?  Why was he wearing a craft project?  And why, at some point, does no one in the video actually HURT HIM because I’m sorry, he’s asking for it.

Well here’s the video for your own viewing pleasure.  Did I miss something?  Can you tell what it’s about?  Is there a song / video that you’d like me to make fun of review?  Please tell me in the comments below.