Well. Just when I’d finished that other bling thanky post, I got another award. Oh, bother, can’t you see I’m busy? Hahaha, yeah I didn’t believe that either. YAY. Okay, so this happened to be the same award I’d already gotten, but that’s okay with me because Sad Pony and Squirrel have been looking longingly at my awards, so I can now share. But first they have to fight over it. I think they’ve been itching to do that anyway. Or possibly I’ve just gone insane.
So what I got was the Liebster award, again. See, Storkhunter gave it to me this time, right after lovelifelaundry gave it to me. Did you know they were sisters? This blogging world is totally related. It’s like, we’re all connected, you know, like far out, man, like did I just smoke something?
If you’ll recall, the Liebster Award is the German one that is not an award for Nazi blogs. I feel the need to point this out. It is totally Nazi free. Just like the majority of American blog awards are free from Westboro Baptist Church. Except for the “Evil Douchebag Blogger Award.” which I’m pretty sure belongs to them.
Right, but anyhoo, I felt the need to crank out another blog post because Storkhunter pointed out that, yello, you are supposed to answer questions and then make new questions for other people. Whoops. Once again I didn’t read instructions. What a Dummkoph I am! (Dummkoph is German for stupid head.)
Here are storkhunter’s questions, which are different from her sister’s. I know. And here I thought they laughed alike and walked alike and sometimes even watched stupid shows like Patty Duke. So here they are:
- What is the square root of 473? Red
- Do you make sure that you wear correct day of the week underwear? Yes. It’s Columbus Day, right? SHIT.
- If today will be tomorrow’s yesterday and today’s tomorrow, when’s tomorrow? Jupiter
- What’s in your fridge right now? Not sure but it’s achieved intelligence and will not let me open the door.
- Shirts – hang up or fold? Leave in the laundry basket until they mold together into one mass and someone says “Are these clean?” and you don’t know so you wash them again.
- Does it piss you off when people spell your name wrong? Yes. No one can spell my last name. But at least my kids learned how to spell their last name that way because I have to spell it every single time I go anywhere and give my name. It’s not that freaking hard, people!
- What music are you listening to right now? I’m asking this because I’m fed up of the tunes on my ipod. Need some good recommendations. I’m listening to crickets right now. But earlier I was listening to James Brown, king of parole. I feel goood.
- Pet names – love ‘em or hate ‘em? (I mean baby, sweetie, honey not Buster, Rover, Fluffles). Rover would be a good pet name for Ana Steele. Since she is a pet. Otherwise, hate ’em.
- Blogging in bed. Do you? Yeah, it annoys my husband when we’re being intimate and I say, “Wait one sec, I gotta respond to this comment.” He’s so unreasonable.
- Planes, trains or automobiles? Segway. I like to be cool.
- How much do you hate me right now? I love you. We are all connected in the great circle of life, like a wheel within a wheel, oh oh – Squirrel just puked all over the floor.
Okay, my turn. I get to ask you unlucky people questions which you can proceed to ignore but don’t, cause this is a chainmail award and if you do ignore it then Republicans will win the next ten elections. Don’t be responsible for that.
1. How much more fabulous is Alice than other bloggers, like, say, those who are French Canadian?
2. What’s your favorite book? (If you say 50 Shades, you go to Hell.)
3. Sad Pony or Squirrel?
4. What’s your social security number?
5. How many houses does John McCain own?
6. How many fingers am I holding up?
7. Edward or Christian?
8. What’s your most hated children’s show?
9. How much longer can I stretch out this post?
10. If one train is coming at 50 miles per hour and another train is coming at 75 miles per hour, what kind of sandwich am I eating?
11. What should I make my eleventh question?
My award recepients. Lucky, lucky people.
Stork Hunter (because she’s valedictorian of my made up class and that ought to come with some perks, right? Plus, she gave me this award and now she gets it back! Regifting is awesome.)
faithhopechocolate (ditto for the salutatorian.)
The Bumble Files (She boosts Alice’s ego. Alice likes that.)
Love and Lunchmeat (She let me on her Zombie Apocalypse Task Force.)
Childhood Relived (Because she reminds me of 80s stuff best left forgotten)
Carrie Rubin (Because she reminded me that there are decent books out there.)
StetotheJ (He writes the BEST blurbs ever, with swoony forsooths and whatnot. Oh, and he has great reviews on his site.)
Bling for everybody! That I remembered at this very second!
Doncha just love my award posts? Of course you do. I think I will quickly make my mark on AliceBling™. There! Done.
This latest award is from Jiltaroo (cool name) who has presented me with the Versatile Blogger Award. I am nothing if not versatile. I mean sometimes I write about stupid stuff, and other times I write about . . . I’m sure there’s other stuff I write about. No matter. Thank you, Jiltaroo, for this latest bit o’ bling for me!
Would you like to donate bling to Alice? I’m not sure if you realize, but some bloggers can be fed on just a tiny bit of bling a day! Like, with the cost of one blog post, you could feed another blogger for a week! Reach into your hearts and dig out another sticker! Or those cool rhinestones you can glue on crafts! Any little amount would be appreciated. We must think of those less fortunate, those with no bling.
Thanks again, Jiltaroo and all you caring others who are featured on my Unbirthday Presents page . . . for making a difference.
You might have wondered if I was actually keeping up with your responses or if I was just going to say screw it and just give you a random grade (I don’t know any teachers that do this). I’m not as talented as some people who have way too many clown noses lying around (wait, those were clown noses, right?) who can magically place them in every post despite there being like 5,000 posts. I have slightly less than this and still didn’t do it. But don’t despair! I have test results. Some of you may be held back. On the plus side, you get to keep your same desk.
Questions for Chapter One and Two:
I had 10 bloggers comment on chapter 1 and 8 on chapter 2. You all get complimentary happy faces for that one, I just decided, cause I love comments. Some of you guessed right. Some of you guessed wrong. Some of you guessed the most violent answers out of pure spite, which I admire. And of course some of you have, I’m so sorry, actually read these books and have pointed out your unfair – oh so unfair – advantage as far as knowing what happened in the the book. Then again, I’m not sure if I could correctly answer anything from the first two books and I know I read those. So who knows.
So 1 happy face for everybody. Along with the added happy or frowny for each question depending on if you got it right or wrong. (I would say I’m going to check, but yeah right, so whatever you do doooon’t cheat because . . . what am I saying, cheat all you want.) Either way you can wear these faces with pride, because even if an answer’s wrong, there’s still a chance it could have happened in the book because these books suck so bad I wouldn’t be surprised if the Titanic suddenly surfaces in one. Also, I think there should be multiple Alicebling prizes for various inane things, like most violent response, responses that made Alice laughhh, etc as I think of them. Everyone can be winner! Unlike that damn monopoly game at McDonalds because that freaking clown cheats. Here are our current contestants.
It is not too late to enter, you guyz! Some of you may have and I forgot to stick you on this list because Alice is hard of thinking – just let her know. This is a really cool contest. There are prizes, I swear, as soon as I figure out what they are. Also you ALL win a place on my blog roll just for showing up (most of you are probably already there unless I haven’t remembered to add you, which is also possible.) This is impressive because I am a very hot commodity and like millions of people see my blog everyday and I would never lie to you guyz, my friends.
I have decided to go to one 50 Shades recap a week because it is the most my brain can stand. Speaker 7 had her reasons for making her recaps come slower and slower. She was trying to maintain brain cells. I think they do regenerate, but it takes time people, and also reading actual real literature and watching a lot of PBS. Tough therapy there. So good luck to you all, and may the odds be evah in your favor, and all that crap.