This ain’t yo mama’s library.  I’m pretty sure that’s a library’s slogan somewhere, possibly somewhere in the Bronx, though more likely in some nice suburban area that is attempting to be “hip”.  So hip that they haven’t figured out that no one uses that word anymore.  You see, the idea is that if libraries are to survive, we must appeal to everybody, because everybody is a stat – er, an important member of society.  Plus, they technically pay us through their taxes.  So it pays to please them.

Public Libraries are Fun

And then the librarian got a RAISE . . . the end.

There are other libraries to choose from, of course.  You could try to be a school librarian.  Not bad, eh?  Summers off, and all you have to do is read books to kids!  Oh, and uh teach lessons to six or seven classes of kids from all grade levels and with various special needs.  And do every bit of clerical work, because you have no staff.  And listen to teachers tell you how good you have it.  They have to be with CHILDREN all day long, for crying out loud, and they want vengeance.  This often consists of assigning children projects on subjects like playa lakes, on which the library has exactly one book.  On lakes. Period.  My mother was a public school librarian for years.  Her advice when queried is “Run.  Run fast.” 

At the moment, I am an academic librarian.  You don’t get a lot of bums here.  Most of the students know how to bathe.  And usually they can find their way to the library without their teachers, at least after they’ve shown them once or twice where the building is, and that it, in fact, exists.  They don’t, however, know how to get anywhere without being plugged into at least 3 electronic devices at one time.  These cutting edge bionic children are our future.  And our future doesn’t know where the reference desk is – that big desk with the giant sign labeled REFERENCE.  Not that it matters, since they also don’t understand what reference is, or why one would need it.  I mean, we got rid of books years ago, right?

Nope, sorry to dissapoint.  Everything has not yet been converted to digital.  By the time it is, we will certainly then be writing in midair with our fingers, and paying through the nose for it – perhaps literally through the nose.  Until then, while we do have computers, databases, DVDs, and even a coffee shop in the library, we’ve got books too.  Many students find they make great coasters.



I need all this for faceboo . . . class!