So, like, a bunch of WordPress people (adults supposedly) are playing tag and I just got tagged. Not freeze tagged, tagged where I’m now doomed to find someone else to tag in order to rid myself of the blog cooties. Or something.
I could ignore it, but I’m about ready to shoot up some technology, so I might as well take a nice little break before my RAGE costs a goodly portion of my paycheck. So anyways, it was twindaddy again (quit stalking me! Unless this is really Blunt Life Coach in which case – I knew you loved me all the time!) and he was tagged by Merbear. I wasn’t aware there was such a thing, but I guess if you’ve got sea cows you can have Merbears. I bet there is a special in the works on Animal Planet or Discovery.
Okay so rules (I wish I could just run and smack him back like in first grade. So much easier.)
1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you.
3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.
4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/Twitter and let them know they’ve been tagged.
A photo of mwah? Sure.
11 facts about me? A-gain? What don’t you know? What would you like to know?
1. My favorite antiperspirant is Mitchum. I find it has the best flavor.
2 . I love watching that show “Monsters Inside Me” because it freaks me the heck out; but you know, I want to be prepared.
3. I suck at technology. Either that or my computer is currently possessed by Satan.
4. I read all the Twilight books AND all the 50 Shades books because I . . . why? Why did I do that?
5. I know people hate award posts, but I don’t have any other ideas so it’s an award post and what else was I going to do hurt feelings, huh? Huh?
6. I’m pretty sure I have the plague and Rat Bite Fever. (see number 2)
7. I have cavities. Damn those Cavity Creeps!
8. I almost never have any idea what I’m talking about. (surprise!)
9. Did I mention the computer possession? My disks have got it too. Maybe THEY have Rat Bite Fever.
10. My name isn’t really Alice, but my real name does come from a classic book.
11. I like saying “eleventy billion” and “sadfaced” and other made up words and writing really long run on sentences because I’m a terrible English major.
Now I’m supposed to answer questions from twindaddy. Is anyone still reading? See if I care. Go check out someone’s interesting blog but you’ll be SORRY.
- If you were a super hero, what would your super power be? Blowing up stuff with the power of my mind. It’s probably a good thing I don’t really have that.
- You don’t like your name (if you do, pretend that you don’t). What do you change it to? Pocahontas
- Debbie leaves Cincinnati at 5PM and travels an average speed of 62mph. Triton (where did that name come from?) leaves Dayton at 4:47PM and travels at an average speed of 87mph. They head towards each other. At what point do you give a fuck about any of this? BONUS Question: How long until Triton gets arrested for reckless driving? Triton is a water god dude from Greek Mythology – or Ariel the mermaid’s dad. Not sure how he’s driving at all with that tail. At no point do I give a fuck about this.
- Coffee gets me high and keeps me awake at work on most days. Do you have such an addiction? If so, what is it? Cola. Cola, cola, colaaaaaa.
- I truly believe we are all broken in some way or another. What is your biggest defect? Defect? No one has made me the Queen of the Internetz yet, that’s the defect. Or possibly it might be using humor as a self defense mechanism. Nah.
- Conversely, we all have one thing we are extremely talented at. What is your best attribute? I’m extremely talented at doing absolutely nothing. Also some people like my writing and drawing. You don’t? Well get lost!
- If you were like Pinocchio, but could choose which body part would get bigger with every lie you told, which body part would it be? Clearly asked by a man. I would choose to make parts smaller, not larger.
- You find an empty box on the floor of your office. What was in it? Crap. Or, um, archival material I mean.
- You just walked into Starbucks. What do you order? A pastry. I hate coffee, even fru fru coffee.
- Do you read (besides blogs)? If so, what type of reading to you enjoy? Alice no read. Alice read 50 Shades and brain no worky. Actually, I usually like reading non-fiction but lately my attention span is so shot that blog entries and magazine articles from Cosmo are about the limit of my intellectual ability.
- If you could guest post on any blog, what blog would it be? Oooh, oooh, does the Pope have a blog? Cause that would be pretty sweet. Otherwise – I’d like to guest post on any of my peep’s blogs.
That’s all fol . . . that’s NOT all? I’m supposed to ask more questions? WTF kind of tag is this? By this point you realize I could be on the other side of the playground, right? Okay, FINE, but you will be sorry.
1. Why do you blog? Why do any of us do this? Why?
2. Are you hungry?
3. Is this eleven questions yet?
4. Is anyone still reading?
5. Does my butt look big on this blog?
6. Just how bored are you?
7. How long can you hold your breath? No reason. Just curious. Don’t look behind you.
8. Can you poop rainbows? If so, we must meet.
9. Are you STILL reading? You really are bored.
10. Is there a monster at the end of this post?
11. Does anyone know what I should write about? That would like, be actually good? Or mildly entertaining? Or stupid and gross but kind of funny?
And now for the nominations, for anyone who got this far.
twindaddy (serves you right)
Miss Four Eyes (if you don’t answer, Sad Pony will get even sadder. Squirrel will simply die. Think on it.)
List of X (I want to see him come up with 10 reasons not to respond to this tag)
Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher (I really want to know if she can poop rainbows. That’s a great skill in a librarian.)
Revis (as brother to twindaddy, you are automatically responsible too. It says so in the Bible.)
Faithhopechocolate (speaking of Bibles, faith, you’re it.)
Not Quite Alice (Another Alice is Always Acceptable and Alliterative)
Animockery (good artist and fellow geek)
braith an’ lithe (she’s a yogi – she can probably twist her way out of this tag)
Doggy’s Style (Run, doggie, run!)
She’s a Maineiac (Looks cool drinking coffee)
So there you go, our nominees. Yay. Now remember, you must pass this award on or ALL THE PUPPIES WILL DIE. Have a nice day!