Freshly Picked!
Some posts take me a while to write. Well, actually it takes me longer for me to find idiot pictures to stick in the middle of my word walls than it does to write the post, but whatever. And then there are posts I throw up in minutes. These are the posts that get lots of response. Naturally. So when I wrote about boogers, (Link Drop!) it should come as no surprise that people liked it. So I figured – that’s what this blog needs. More boogers.
I also felt that my booger post, being so intellectually stimulating, should be submitted to Freshly Pressed. So I submitted it myself by tweeting it on Twitter.
The computer cut off the @freshlypressed part. But I totes did it.
Someone had to do it. Just like when I was playing Goldfish’s madlibs contest and I voted for myself. But I did like some other entries too so I went to another computer and voted for someone else. As it turns out, voter fraud pays off because I won third place! Woot! Check out my badge.
Who says cheaters never win . . . third place?
Anyway, sadly I did not receive a response from Freshly Pressed. This made me sadfaced. Clearly booger posts are underrepresented by Freshly Pressed editors. They need to get on the ball with that. But until they do, I have come up with a solution. Yet another badge of my own. This would have been perfect if I had remembered St. Patrick’s Day was Monday and posted it then, because the badge is all green and lucky. Here it is.
Take that, Freshly Pressed!
I know, the craftsmanship on this baby is awesome. I would have used one of my personal boogers, but it wouldn’t scan very well, so I just made a drawing of its likeness. Cool, huh? Anyway, I’m storing this baby away with my Creeper and Douchecanoe Awards, just in case I find a thoroughly stupid and repulsive, I mean fascinating and intellectual post to give it to some day. Just wait! It might be you!
How do you get picked? Easy, just pick something to write about that’s fun and bouncy, and just a little bit salty. Don’t be shy, just let it all hang out. Or just write about boogers. Or something else disgusting. And then – woot – you can have this baby bestowed upon you. I know. Who could ask for anything more? Except possibly a Kleenex?
Do you guys have any posts worthy of a Freshly Picked nod? If so, send them to me, Alice, at aliceisatwonderland@hotmail.com. Or just link to it in the comments. Or forget all about it. You’ll be glad you did.
The Fruitcake Award
Since so many people have given me awards, I decided to return the favor and come up with my own. Yup, I made it ALL BY MYSELF. I thought on this one long and hard, folks. And then, an idea came to me, like the ghost of Christmas past. Fruitcake.
I made rules and everything, but they’re really easy, guyz. Here’s how it works.
1. Thank the person (it’s the thought, not the hardened fruit, that counts).
2. Forget about it for a while.
3. Realize you haven’t written a thank you post, you cretin. Click: Add New Post.
4. Display the charming image on your blog. Smack it up there like you’re proud of it and everything. Don’t hurt grandma’s feelings!
5. Link back to the person who sent it. If you can’t remember, just link back to anybody. Chances are they won’t remember whether they gave you something or not.
6. Chose ONE lucky, lucky reader to receive this special gift of joyness. Cause what the heck are you going to do with it?
7. See what bizarre things you can get them to do. Here are some suggestions. Tell them to: blog naked, talk to their split personality, converse with imaginary animals, name themselves after a fruit, read 50 Shades (that’s just cruel), sparkle, hunt zombies, stand on their heads, join a religious order, eat a spambot, or even better, all of the above. At once. Pics or it didn’t happen.
8. Stalk their blog and see if they do all the stuff you asked. If they don’t, tell them how hurt you are that they don’t like their gift and ask why they no longer love you.
9. See who they choose to send your gift on to.
10. Wait for it to eventually return back to you. It’s fruitcake. That’s what it does.
So that’s it! Now, for the first winner of the great Fruitcake Award! Miss Four Eyes, chosen because she is my bestest blog friend in the universe (I LOVE YOU FOREVERS) and not because her name came up first when I was thinking of who to dump this on give this precious gift. Congrats!
The Bling Closet
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Alice who went around begging for blog bling. She was not subtle about it. Nope, she wrote several posts on it, in fact. She whined on people’s blogs when she wasn’t selected. Whining turns out to be a very effective bargaining tool, for soon she was rolling in bling which she put in her bling closet labeled Unbirthday Presents.
Then Alice got busy. She had things to do. Like avoid housework and play video games and insult stupid books and hack up mounds of mucus. Cool stuff you guys just wouldn’t understand. So she didn’t write a thank you post. She meant to, but life, you know, she was trying to find one and that takes TIME people.
So there’s this backlog, and though she tried to keep records, she has none, except the kind that go round, round, baby, right round, like a record baby, right round, round round. What’s a lazy girl to do? Write one post to try to cover her rear end, that’s what she’s to do. And here it is, in all its glory!
Here’s a couple of awards I just got, so I actually remember them. They were given to me by another Alice from a parallel universe blog. First up is awesomesauce because it has a dragon. Check it.
It’s a FREAKING DRAGON, that’s what it is.
Next, is one that just showed up and has been floating around the blogosphere. It’s the We Are Family award, and I get to be part of this messed up little family. Woot!
Check out my shadow family. They rock.
And there were others, others that . . . crap I forgot. I think one had Sunshine in it, because I’m just full of it. Sunshine, that is. And . . . um, others, just too many to mention! Yes, that’s it!
The dragon award said to give out facts about yourself. I’ve already done that so much I’m sure most people want me to take some of those facts back. TMI Alice, is something I have heard, possibly, once or twice. So I’ll make up some stuff about me.
- In high school, I was a cheerleader, on account of all my pep.
- I used to have a talking dog named Cheeto, but he kept giving out my passwords to people so I had my dragon eat him.
- I am really a princess, and as soon as Julie Andrews takes off my glasses, trims my eyebrows, and gives me a new dress and etiquette lessons, I am going to totally take the throne. And write a diary about it.
- All that bad stuff I did? It was not me. It was my evil robot twin, Ecila.
- I see dead people. In the funeral parlor. The funeral directors keep telling me to quit stalking them.
- My dad is Obi One Kenobi, so I might actually be a Jedi princess. Don’t tell Twindaddy. He has orders to destroy me.
- I do a LOT of drugs. I mean, a LOT.
So there you go. I have acknowledged awards I forgot, and some I didn’t (because I just got them like minutes before writing this post) and I made up some stuff about myself. Yes, even the last thing. I’m not stoned, just weird.
Thanks to all my peeps who are still out there, hopefully. In keeping with my laziness, I give my award to all of you, mwah, mwah! And also to all the spambots.
Love,
Alice
And a happy new bling
Well. Just when I’d finished that other bling thanky post, I got another award. Oh, bother, can’t you see I’m busy? Hahaha, yeah I didn’t believe that either. YAY. Okay, so this happened to be the same award I’d already gotten, but that’s okay with me because Sad Pony and Squirrel have been looking longingly at my awards, so I can now share. But first they have to fight over it. I think they’ve been itching to do that anyway. Or possibly I’ve just gone insane.
I took it while Squirrel was playing with his nuts.
So what I got was the Liebster award, again. See, Storkhunter gave it to me this time, right after lovelifelaundry gave it to me. Did you know they were sisters? This blogging world is totally related. It’s like, we’re all connected, you know, like far out, man, like did I just smoke something?
If you’ll recall, the Liebster Award is the German one that is not an award for Nazi blogs. I feel the need to point this out. It is totally Nazi free. Just like the majority of American blog awards are free from Westboro Baptist Church. Except for the “Evil Douchebag Blogger Award.” which I’m pretty sure belongs to them.
Not the Evil Douchebag Award.
Right, but anyhoo, I felt the need to crank out another blog post because Storkhunter pointed out that, yello, you are supposed to answer questions and then make new questions for other people. Whoops. Once again I didn’t read instructions. What a Dummkoph I am! (Dummkoph is German for stupid head.)
Here are storkhunter’s questions, which are different from her sister’s. I know. And here I thought they laughed alike and walked alike and sometimes even watched stupid shows like Patty Duke. So here they are:
- What is the square root of 473? Red
- Do you make sure that you wear correct day of the week underwear? Yes. It’s Columbus Day, right? SHIT.
- If today will be tomorrow’s yesterday and today’s tomorrow, when’s tomorrow? Jupiter
- What’s in your fridge right now? Not sure but it’s achieved intelligence and will not let me open the door.
- Shirts – hang up or fold? Leave in the laundry basket until they mold together into one mass and someone says “Are these clean?” and you don’t know so you wash them again.
- Does it piss you off when people spell your name wrong? Yes. No one can spell my last name. But at least my kids learned how to spell their last name that way because I have to spell it every single time I go anywhere and give my name. It’s not that freaking hard, people!
- What music are you listening to right now? I’m asking this because I’m fed up of the tunes on my ipod. Need some good recommendations. I’m listening to crickets right now. But earlier I was listening to James Brown, king of parole. I feel goood.
- Pet names – love ‘em or hate ‘em? (I mean baby, sweetie, honey not Buster, Rover, Fluffles). Rover would be a good pet name for Ana Steele. Since she is a pet. Otherwise, hate ’em.
- Blogging in bed. Do you? Yeah, it annoys my husband when we’re being intimate and I say, “Wait one sec, I gotta respond to this comment.” He’s so unreasonable.
- Planes, trains or automobiles? Segway. I like to be cool.
- How much do you hate me right now? I love you. We are all connected in the great circle of life, like a wheel within a wheel, oh oh – Squirrel just puked all over the floor.
Okay, my turn. I get to ask you unlucky people questions which you can proceed to ignore but don’t, cause this is a chainmail award and if you do ignore it then Republicans will win the next ten elections. Don’t be responsible for that.
1. How much more fabulous is Alice than other bloggers, like, say, those who are French Canadian?
2. What’s your favorite book? (If you say 50 Shades, you go to Hell.)
3. Sad Pony or Squirrel?
4. What’s your social security number?
5. How many houses does John McCain own?
6. How many fingers am I holding up?
7. Edward or Christian?
8. What’s your most hated children’s show?
9. How much longer can I stretch out this post?
10. If one train is coming at 50 miles per hour and another train is coming at 75 miles per hour, what kind of sandwich am I eating?
11. What should I make my eleventh question?
My award recepients. Lucky, lucky people.
Stork Hunter (because she’s valedictorian of my made up class and that ought to come with some perks, right? Plus, she gave me this award and now she gets it back! Regifting is awesome.)
faithhopechocolate (ditto for the salutatorian.)
The Bumble Files (She boosts Alice’s ego. Alice likes that.)
Love and Lunchmeat (She let me on her Zombie Apocalypse Task Force.)
Childhood Relived (Because she reminds me of 80s stuff best left forgotten)
Carrie Rubin (Because she reminded me that there are decent books out there.)
StetotheJ (He writes the BEST blurbs ever, with swoony forsooths and whatnot. Oh, and he has great reviews on his site.)
Bling for everybody! That I remembered at this very second!
Bling bling bells, bling bling bells . . .
Did you catch that title? It’s like Jingle Bells, only it’s Bling bells, which are so much better because I don’t want to shoot them like I do Jingle Bells after I’ve heard it for the 47th time every single day leading up to Christmas, the day of Jesus and Macy’s.
But back to bling, which has nothing to do with Christmas, of course. You see, you might not have realized this, but this is an awards post. I know, right? I was given two awards, the Brilliant Blog Award and the Liebster Award. The Brilliant Blog Award was made just for me. Yes it was. No, it does not have a picture of anything like that, you weirdos. It’s a light bulb, for my fabulous ideas. Of which I have some. Occasionally. Anyhoo, it’s from Sunny With A Chance of Armagaddeon, who I’m pretty sure I said had the absolute best blog name ever, and there should be an award for best blog name. Get to work on that, whoever makes awards out there.
For brilliant blingy me!
And there are questions, and since I was caught by somebody for not following the rules last time (cough, scienerf, cough) I will be good and follow them to the let-ter. So here we go.
Da Rules
- Write an acceptance speech, linking back to the person who gave it to you.
- Write 7 things you believe in.
- Give the award to as many brilliant blogs as you would like to share the love.
1. Acceptance Speech:
This is not a problem with me. I’ve been practicing acceptance speeches all my life, just like Mitt Romney. So I would like to say, thank you to all the other bloggers who have stood by me through it all, back when there was no bling to be found, and I was destitute. Of bling. I would also like to thank the Academy, and my dog who has been dead for like 20 years, and the clouds, and the trees, and Squirrel and Sad Pony and . . . why are you playing that music so loud?
2. Seven Things I Believe In
Puppies
Kittens
Rainbows
Unicorn poop
Bling
Crystal Light (cause I believe in me!)
Potatoes.
3. Nominate bloggers.
I’m guessing this means don’t be freaking lazy and say everyone can have it. And here I thought I was being all generous in the Christmas spirit of Macy’s. But okay. I’ll leave them to the end, after I talk about my next award.
The Liebster Award was given to me by lovelifelaundry (another great blog title – who can get away from freaking laundry? It’s evil. Laundry, not the blog, which is tops.) Liebster is German for “dearest” and is given to Nazi blogs with less than 200 followers. Did you hear that? Yeah, I don’t believe it either. Less than 200? I figured there were a bazillion followers by now. (Actually I’m amazed there are over 20, but stay with me here.) Oh, and as it turns out, this award has nothing to do with Nazis, my bad.
Not a Nazi blog award
There are questions for this one too! Golly, talk about me again? I just don’t know if I okay here I go!
MY 11 questions are:
1. What is your greatest stength?
X-ray vision. Also some people think I’m funny.
2. When was your proudest moment?
When my babies were born and I stopped being possessed by the little aliens.
3. How long do you wait for a bus before giving up and going home
I haven’t ridden a bus in a long time. I’d say five seconds, because I’m patient.
4. E-books or real books?
Yes. I mostly like real books, unless I’m reading something stupid like 50 Shades. Then I like to go incognito.
5. How far would you go to get what you want?
Is assault too far? What if it was someone seriously annoying?
6. Whom would you invite round for dinner?
Ana Steele. Then I’m smack her head into the mashed potatoes a billion times.
7. What is your biggest fear?
That we’ll get a Republican Prez in 2016.
8. What makes you laugh out loud?
Me! And many other funny people and their blogs.
9. Your greatest weakness?
You thought I was going to say Kryptonite, right? Wrong! It’s the color yellow.
10. If I had one wish I would wish for…..
Eternal life. Except then I’d get stuck in prison or something.
11. If you had to come back in a different era, which one would it be?
Medival Times – but only the medieval times that you see in the movies, not the one with no flush toilets.
Now the nominees! I think these are pretty good questions, so if you wanna answer them and take the awards, go for it.
Scienerf (because I want her to write yet another award post this week)
Ravinj (because she likes homework)
Speaker7 (because Hugo keeps dangling my lock of hair over a lighter)
GiggsMcGill Jill (because she’s cool, like, really cool, man.)
Jen and Tonic (so she can feel guilty about talking about clown boy on my press release blurb post)
Miss Four Eyes (because both Sad Pony and Squirrel nominated her for her . . . I’m gonna go with brilliance here.)
I know I’m leaving somebody(s) off here. Just send me a MLP horsehead pic and I’ll get the idea. Alice says thanks for all the love! And bling.
Awards for Alice That Are Like Way Better Than Pressed
Yay, more bling for Alice! The first award is from Sunny with a Chance of Armaggedon, which is one of the best blog names ever. She gave it to me a while ago, and I admired it but kept forgetting to put it up and do the proper thank you and frack how many other thank yous have I forgotten? I bet some of the people at my last baby shower (8 years ago) are pretty pissed. Where was I? Oh, yes.
AWARD NUMBER ONE
That is one big flower.
There are always questions. Must I talk about me again? Oh, very well, le sigh dramatically.
Questions:
1) What is your favorite color? Pink. Pale pink, not hot pink or bubblegum. Real pink. Like you use in baby rooms. Normal baby rooms. Not baby rooms done up in a montage of Ronald Reagan photos. Unless you like that sort of thing (your baby is weirded out enough to register Democrat, though.)
2) What is your favorite animal? Penguins. Hilariously goofy little birds. There are, like, 19 kinds of penguins. I blame Thing Two.
“And then I realized how freaking CUTE we are!”
3) What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink? I have a love affair with Coca-Cola. We go way back. Dr. Pepper is my second choice, like when your other crush is busy and you need a date. Wouldn’t you like to be a pepper, too?
4) Facebook or Twitter? Facebook because I actually understand it and how the heck am I supposed to fit my posts into that few words cause I can go on for . . .
6) Do you prefer getting or giving presents? Presents, presents, presents. BLING! I like! Although I do love to give to those I love, especially if I know what they really like. I do not like giving to those I don’t know or like much. It’s awkward. Not that, uh, there’s anyone that fits that category.
I has it.
7) Favorite number? Eleventy-billion!
8) Favorite day of the week? Saturday. No work. Sleep in. All good. What other day is there? I would love to see the one who says “Monday” then gets totally clobbered.
9) Favorite flower? White rose, although I also like carnations because they don’t freaking die so fast.
10) What is your passion? Blogging, music, writing, reading, teaching my kids to snark, politics (certified Yellow Dog Democrat. Republicans: Please don’t shoot. :D)
Blog awards are like the Academy Awards, except sometimes these blogs are seen by real people.
Everybody! Except Le Clown. Sara must take one (even if she has it already) and rub it in his face.
AWARD NUMBER TWO
The second award is from reflectionsonlifethusfar. This is the first time I’ve heard of this award, and it sounds pretty cool. You nominate bloggers and stuff, but drat it all now I have to talk about ME ME ME some more and I’m just such a shy violet. What. What???
I have always refused to live in the real world. For instance, I like to think there are still lots of people who actually read.
Questions:
The Top 5 Books I’ve Read:
(You’ll notice that 3 of these are not only series, but YA series. Whatevs.
- The Prydain series by Lloyd Alexander
- Percy Jackson and the Olympians series by Rick Riordan
- The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins
- All humor books by Dave Barry (my hero)
- Marriage Confidential by Pamela Haag
I know there are other books out there I’ve read (some might even be for adults) that are really great, but I have brain dumbs and can’t think of them now. Please tell me yours! I like hearing about what disturbing interesting things people enjoy reading.
Books I’m Currently Reading:
- 50 Shades Freed (not a real book) by E.L. Freakin’ James
- The Seneca Scourge (a real book!) by Carrie Rubin
This is the most exciting sticker! I feel all red carpety.
Once again, I can’t choose, and not just because I’m lazy. There are too many! And this is unreal because I’m saying there are too many bloggers I know that can read! Sadly, this means once again I have to leave out Le Clown. But Le Eric can feel free to take one. See? I am the nicest.
Thank you all!
Alice
More Awards to Soothe My Savage Ego!
And crank out another blog post! I have learned so much from E.L. James. For instance, you do not have to have anything remotely interesting or even sane to say in order to write for pages and pages. Wait, I learned that in college English. Still, E.L. enforced it.
Scienerf, who is a fabulous lady with an awesome dog and blog, gave me this award because she knows I like bling even though the idea of my blog being lovely is really funny. Maybe it’s an Ironic Lovely Blog Award? A Lovely Use of the Word Buttplug Award? A Shut the Crap Up Alice Here Is Your Bling And Would You Like a Cookie Award? It can be all of these things and more!
The ultimate in lovely irony – with a pretty tree. Thank you, scienerf.
It comes with rules. This award does not realize that I am Rebel Library Person and so rules do not apply to me. But what the heck, like I’m doing anything else productive. I’m supposed to list seven random things about myself and nominate 15 bloggers. Or was it that I was supposed to nominate seven mes and say random things about 15 bloggers. I get so confused. But I think that’s it. So here goes. I nominate myself, Inner goddess, Subconscious, the One behind the Alice, Bratty younger sister, Slacker mom, and Poster Child for Various Mental Disorders for the Lovely Blog Award because scienerf nominated me and so I am lovely and you guyz who don’t think so can suck it, okay? Good.
Random Things About 15 Bloggers:
Scienerf is cool and not just because she gave me bling so go visit her blog and see her cute dog and oh yeah her writing.
This is not her dog. This is a mutant freak.
Le Clown says he is from Canada but is actually from planet Le Zoltran.
Speaker 7 has a puppet named Hugo who last I heard was arrested for public indecency at a Chuck E. Cheese.
Hugo, please come home!
Angie uses her blog Childhood Relived to melt peoples brains with evil 80s memories until they are under her mind control and willing to send her endless bling like winky Strawberry Shortcake dolls.
Judith of Stork Hunting writes about all the fun you can have in a pair of stirrups.
I bet if you were to slide down a hill on one of these, it’d be fun.
Angel of The Mirth of Despair writes posts that actually are lovely and not about buttplugs.
Ruby Tuesday of I Was Just Thinking is, in fact, not a restaurant but a very sweet lady that likes knights with pointy toes.
If you buy her blog, she’ll throw in Canvas for free!
Love and Lunchmeat is not processed food filled with nitrates. She is leader of the Zombie Apocalypse Task Force. I am her second-in-command because I just nominated myself.
Theabrasiveembrace kind of reminds me of Cyndi Lauper. Her blog just wants to have fun. Or something.
Wow, the 80s were a long time ago.
Madame Weebles made me my own purple heart ribbon and I didn’t even have to get shot at for it.
Lulu of Sunny With a Chance of Armaggedon and I will hopefully one day leave our blogs and form our own Dream Team with the other Canvas authors.
Dream Team was a really good movie.
Mooselicker writes a blog when he is not licking moose. Or is it mooses?
Rich Full Life has a rich, full blog and a cute baby. Go look at the cute baby! Now!
Not her real baby. This is a stunt baby.
Miss Four Eyes likes glasses and according to her About page is not clinically insane, so she can be my token sane person.
Sara of Laments and Lullabies is married to Le Clown but is not from Planet Le Zoltran. Theirs is a mixed marriage of clown and human.
Recent family photo
There are so many other bloggers I love that I could make an endless list but I have mush brains which I for now will blame on James and plus there is also that attention problem that I have oh hey look, a sad pony!
He’s still so SAD.
Don’t be a sad pony. If I like you, I will say something stupid, annoying, or possibly nice about you in a future blog post because that’s the kind of gal I am plus I need blogger fodder and oh yeah, bling.
Winning!
No, this post isn’t about winning a stupid contest. Although it does refer to one that was about winning a stupid contest. Said post was the one in which I nominated myself for Queen of the Internets for receiving a gold unicorn badge from a Canadian clown. I figured it would only be fitting, then, to like my own post. Because I did like it. It had a UNICORN. Here is what WordPress told me:
Yes I did, WordPress.
This just makes me want to like all my posts from now on.
I’m not sure why WordPress is concerned about our inflated egos. I mean, at this moment, bloggers like Le Clown have egos bigger than our biggest state: Canada.*
I like my blog. It’s special, and not just because it has a gold unicorn, although, seriously, can you get better than this freaking thing?
No, you can’t.
But it’s not just that badge. I have OTHERS. And another one I really love is my Canvas badge, because I am now a Canvas author. To be a Canvas author, you have to be nuts. I know, right? I totally qualify. Just kidding. You actually have to be approved by Ruby, who has a really cool blog that I am going to promote again called The Canvas of the Minds. It’s a mental health blog. People are going to go visit just to get us to shut up. I know they will.
I’m not shutting up until there’s like 100 likes on this blog, even if I have to make them all myself. Keep up, WordPress.
When I’m not writing about removing the stigma from mental health, I’m writing about removing the threat of zombies. As a proud member of the Zombie Apocalypse Task Force I thanklessly work to rid out country of this menace. There are still many more though, thanks to Reality T.V. If you want to join this effort, suck up to Love and Lunchmeat. You’ll get this awesome zombie bling.
Zombie bling. Everyone wants some.
Is that all the fame I have acquired you may ask? No, it is not. I also have this badge, which is awesome because it has a Meerkat and a dirty word that I will have to cover up when I show this post to my kids in the same way I cover most stuff with bad language. I will read it as an entirely different word. Fools them every time, even though they’ve been able to read quite a while now. At least they tell me it does.
I love this little guy.
See how I sneaked him in there? That one came from Elaine4Queen who said if I mentioned her I would get mentioned on her blog in her awards category. Freaking sneaky, isn’t it? I like this kind of award because you’re not expected to do anything for it, and I am lazy. Which reminds me of another lazy award that is totally awesome.
See, it even has a cool flag from some place that may or may not also be one of our states.
If you want to get this award, you just have to go to Dotty’s blog. Oh, and there’s some questions I’m supposed to answer. Let’s see here:
QUESTIONS TO ANSWER
1. How many bricks do you own?
Lots. They’re on my house. I tried to count but I got bored after 1 and went back and messed around on the Internet. Also, my husband probably has some lying around the yard somewhere. He’s a collector.
2. How many Cumberland sausages can you fit in your mouth without chewing?
I’m another clueless one that doesn’t know what a Cumberland sausage is and won’t look it up. But I do love McDonald’s sausage biscuits. I think I can safely get one sausage biscuit wedged into my mouth at one time. But I like to savor the unhealthiness bite by bite.
3. What is your most inventive way of using biscuits (or cookies if you’re American)?
After reading that 5o Shades book, I’m not sure if I should answer this one. But one inventive thing to do with cookies is give a ginger snap to your unsuspecting three-year-old who bites down on something as hard as concrete and looks at you like “Why has thou betrayed me?”
4. If it was made compulsory to have a mental illness which one would you choose and why? (If you have a mental illness already you have to choose another).
I think I would choose Multiple Personality Disorder because then you could be your own friend. In spite of my earlier posts, I don’t actually have real multiple personalities like the main character in a book I’m reading, I just pretend. Shut UP, subconscious!
Okay, moving on. Are you still with me? Good. So here’s the last award I’m going to mention. It came from Mr. MaryfoofooPoppins (not really his name, check his blog to find out) at a Spoonful of Suga and requires some more work on my part. It’s a chain mail award, but I don’t care because it is my chain mail award. Here it is.
Warning: contains misspelled word. It should be Kreativ Bloger.
I am very appreciative of this award because it’s pretty and says I’m “Kreativ”. Do you get it? It’s Kreativ because of the spelling of Kreativ. Oh, hey, there are questions for me to answer too. I’m supposed to tell you 7 things about myself and nominate 7 other bloggers.
1. I like to like my own posts.
2. I have a lot of awards. See?
3. I write on another blog. It’s called Canvas of the Minds, in case you forgot.
4. I am a sneaky blogger.
5. A sneaky blogger that is also mental.
6. A sneaky, mental blogger that won a gold unicorn award.
7. I am too lazy to nominate individuals, so everyone who reads my blog can have this award. Ta-da!
Okay, I think I’m done for now. Enjoy basking in my success. Also, if you want to join my success and be featured in my blog, send me bling. I hear Angie at Childhood Relived gets bling and I want bling too. If you must, steal hers, but be sneaky about it, okay?
Love me FOREVER,
Alice
P.S. Everyone, quick, like your own posts. Because you’re worth it.
*I don’t believe them that it’s a real country. I still think it’s a state. We got it in that Louisiana Purchase thing where the French said, le pfft, take it all, we’re drunk on French wine. Also, Texas believes it’s still its own country, and the rest of the country, I think, is inclined to let them (I love my state). So it only follows, using my logic system, that if Texas is a state and thinks it’s a country, then Canada must be a state. Makes total sense.
aliceatwonderland 