Tag Archives: blog

Blogger Apathy

Meh.

Blog Break

Hi all.  Again.  Just letting you know that I’m taking a blog break.  Again.  I’ve got this great cruise lined up – for some reason Carnival is giving these awesome discounts!  Something about a “get back to nature” special.  Anyway, I hope this break recharges some of my batteries so that I can bring you the typical useless programming you’ve come to expect from Alice.com.  Nothing but reality TV standards here, guyz.

Take care.  And if you think of anything you might like me to cover in future posts, you can always leave these ideas in the comments.  Awful TV shows?  Exercise videos?  Books about stupid vampiric businessman psychopaths?  Moronic celebrities?  New prescription meds I should probably be taking?  Let me know.

See you soon and thanks again for being awesome,

Alice

Rants with Alice: Comments! Answer you must!

Rants With Alice

Today I’m going to rant to you guys about blog etiquette.  I know, you’re looking at this and going PFFT.  Alice is gonna talk to us about etiquette like she’s freakin’ Emily Post?  Yeah, okay, I realize I’m not the best at this kind of stuff.  But there is one thing that bugs me about some blogs.  And that’s when they don’t answer comments.

Alice is not really a proper British girl but she plays one on her blog.  Sometimes.

Alice is not really a proper British girl but she plays one on her blog. Sometimes.

I realize this is controversial to some.  Like making a “thanks” or a smiley face in response to someone’s comment takes TIME, folks.  I realize that people have lives (what is this life business?) and I don’t think you should have to respond immediately.  Maybe it will take a few days.  Or a week.  Or a month.  Especially if you become Queen of the Mucus People, or you know, you just don’t feel like it.  Or if you’re someone who gets eleventy billion comments on every post.  But eventually, it just seems polite to at least acknowledge that the person acknowledged you.

I guess I’m just still so thrilled that people read me and find enjoyment in what they read.  And as I’ve said before, the comments can be funnier than the posts themselves.  You get to know people that way.  And I don’t think you should ever stop trying to get to know people, no matter how big your blog gets.  I got some new followers with the pressed business, and I am working on checking out their blogs.  It will take me a while, but I promise to visit each one.  Because, well, I just think I should.  Who knows? Maybe I’ll find a new blog to read.  I always need new reading material because I have the attention span of Squirrel and cannot seem to concentrate on anything longer than a blog post or a Cosmo quiz.

I just learned my girlfriend is not that into me.  Thanks, Cosmo.

I just learned that I have sexy power! Thanks, Cosmo.

I’m not saying that you have to follow everyone who follows you, or that you have to go be best buds with someone because they left you a comment.  But gosh, is it so hard to be polite?  If someone gives you a present, do you just toss it aside in a pile and say nothing?  If you do, are you related to the men in my family?  Anyway, that’s the way I look at it.  Comments are presents.  Maybe the present isn’t just what you wanted (I don’t like being told I’m not Queen of the Internetz) but it’s the thought that counts.

I rarely follow blogs unless the bloggers respond to comments.  It’s just so much more fun that way.  There are one or two that are just so good that yes I follow them even though they don’t answer comments.  But not very many.  Most of my blogger buddies are awesome about responding to comments, and some of these bloggers have huge readerships.  I respect that.

Yes I AM Queen of the Internetz.  Bow before me.

Yes I AM Queen of the Internetz. Bow before me.

There must be some reason why some people do not respond to comments.  Maybe they’re shy?  I realize a lot of bloggers are introverts.  That’s why we’re here.  I am much more introverted in real life, at least I am when I don’t know you.  If I get to know you and I like you, I will never shut up again.  But I guess I could see how this might be a problem for some people who don’t have split personalities (ie extrovert online and introvert offline).  Still, I would encourage these people to push past that fear.  I had to push past some fear just to make my blog public.  But what incredible rewards I have gotten in return.  And I’m not talking about my blog bling, not even the big blue blog bling up there in the corner.  (With the hearts.  Yeah, that one.)  I’m talking about the community of readers.  I’m talking people who lift me up, who tell me “Hey you not only don’t suck, you’re pretty awesome.”  That is the reward.  And you miss it if you don’t engage with your readers.

And though I’m grateful to have been acknowledged by the WP gods and to have gotten new readers, my best bling is handmade.  I’ve gotten personalized awards for covering that crappy 50 Shades series.  I had a blogger draw a picture of my blog and write a poem about it – it’s up there on my All About Alice page.  It even has Sad Pony and Squirrel!  Heck, my readers are so cool they acknowledge my delusions and even have pretend relationships with them.  You can’t find this kind of crazy awesome just anywhere.

I have the best friends ever.

I have the best friends ever.

So I figure the least I can do is respond.  I also try to visit the blogs of my “homies” (Alice in da hood) and leave comments there.  It’s not a chore.  I love reading their posts, so I usually have something to blab about.  Sometimes my comments are longer than their posts.  But it’s my way of showing appreciation, especially since I still haven’t figured out how to make blog bling.

Admittedly, part of this is my OCD in action.  There is a comment and I must answer it!  Not only that, I want to answer comments on the blogs of other people.  I even pushed my real-life blogger pal to go answer her comments on her blog because it was driving me crazy.  It’s like going to a bookstore and OMG their books are not in order, so I start rearranging them and WTF I don’t work here!  So possibly some of this is just the madness of Alice.

But it’s a good madness.  Join me, won’t you?

My 200th post

I just realized that my last post was my 199th post and that my next scheduled post was 50 Shade related.  Somehow I didn’t want that to be my historic 200th post.  Even though I completely missed whatever my 100th post was, I wanted this one to be special.  How often do you have 200th anniversaries?  You know, while still alive?  Not like those they’re always talking about on Google, where it’s some famous person’s 548th birthday.  That seems pretty silly to me.  Are we going to drag out the corpse and put a birthday hat on it?  Cause that would be super creepy yet also a pretty cool reality T.V. show.

Happy Birthday, Benjamin Franklin!

Happy Birthday, Benjamin Franklin!

Anyway, I would say “wow, I can’t believe I have written that much” but wow, I’m not actually that surprised because I am a pretty big blabbermouth both in voice and print.  But at the moment, I don’t have bunches to say.  So I’ll let others do it for me.

How am I going to count two!  two hundred apples!  Alice!  You suckkkk!

How am I going to count two! Two hundred posts! Alice! You suckkkk!

We don't have enough fingers to count to 200, Alice!  Oh, and don't shoot!

We don’t have enough fingers to count to 200, Alice! Oh, and don’t shoot!

I just covered your blog with 200 band-aids!  Or band-aidos in Spanish.  Say it with me!

I just covered your blog with 200 band-aids! Or band-aidos in Spanish. Say it with me!

200 is the number of times I had Ana say "Oh, jeez" in the first chapter of my book.

200 is the number of times I had Ana say “Oh, jeez” in the first chapter of my book.

I do 200 pushups every ten minutes.

I do 200 pushups every ten minutes.

There are two hundred globs of us up your nose!

There are two hundred globs of us up your nose!’

I sucked up 200 cups of Tubby Custard.  Then the Teletubbies.

I sucked up 200 cups of Tubby Custard. Then the Teletubbies.

OMG, some lady is having 200 babies on TLC!

OMG, some lady is having 200 babies on TLC!

200?Math is hard.

200?
Math is hard.

Two hundred posts.  Big freakin' deal.

Two hundred posts. Big freakin’ deal.

Twoooooooo-hundred nutssssssss!  Omg, Omg, Omg, Omg! (faint)

Twoooooooo-hundred nutssssssss! Omg, Omg, Omg, Omg! (faint)

Years of Art class at work!200!

Years of Art class at work!
200!

Thanks for reading,

Alice

The Week Ahead!

March your calendars for stupid!

March your calendars for stupid!

Hullo, all.  I thought I’d update you on what is coming up (besides possibly my lunch) in the week ahead.  Tomorrow we have our eleventh lesson in 50 Shades Flunked.  It’s a doozie.  Don’t miss it.  I know some of you have skipped class lately, and risk being dropped from Smut University.  Sad Pony cries for you.  Especially if you still don’t realize you’re enrolled.

Also, I’m proud to announce that the Things and I have finally finished Twilight II: New Moon.  It took us a while.  I think we rented it three separate times.  The Things became interested in chores and early bedtimes.  But we persevered, readers, and I do believe this is the best one yet, thanks to the nutty brilliance of The Things.  It will be another three-parter, starting on Thursday.

But what else will you do with this blog, you might wonder.  Or, what WON’T you do with this blog at this point?  That’s up to you!  If you have suggestions of something you’d like me to write about, just let me know.  I’m happy to review crappy books and movies, because I have something wrong with me.  Actually I can write about almost anything, whether I know what I’m talking about or not, because I don’t have to bother with pesky research.  Anyhoo, just drop me a line down the rabbit hole in the comments or an email.  See ya soon.

Alice

Pooped!

Alice is pooped.  Poop poop poop pooped.  She willingly concedes the post-a-day-are-you-freaking-kidding-me challenge to Speaker 7 and Jen and Tonic.  Apparently, her lungs have decided they are still tired.  Also her brain. 

I still plan on having the next recap up on Monday, because who can live without brain sucking literature?  Also, on the 16th, Alice will be starring on Black Box Warnings, Le Clown’s more serious le site.  Woot. 

Oh, and “Post”.

Alice

How Do You Blog?

Recently I wrote a post on Canvas on overwhelmation.  And I am definitely feeling it now.  Pretty soon, they’re going to expect me to go back to work.  I’m better, much, much better, but still when I go to the bookstore, I’m good for about ten, fifteen minutes tops before my body says “Holy crap, go home!”  So I’m thinking if fifteen minutes is hard, eight hours might be slightly harder.  There is also the process of working out sick leave (like not having any) and if I qualify for something called sick leave pool, the logistics of which probably inspired the book Catch-22.

My employee handbook

So I was thinking stressing on this and Thing Two started coughing.  And then running fever.  And I said, “Oh, crap.”  (I say this a lot.) I guess I was just hoping the powers that be or whatever would give me say enough time to quit being sick myself before striking a kid.  Yeah, not so much.  Even better, she has the ability to go from lying still (freaky for this kid) to bouncing about while chattering non-stop until my brains threaten to explode within minutes.

Mommy, what are you doing? I want a buffalo for Christmas! I was reading this story and it was about this and this and this and are you listening Mommy and my buddy said that I was weird and I don’t like bullies why do people bully it isn’t nice and it’s against school policy and that’s not fair and what’s on T.V.? I think I might throw up. No, false alarm, it’s a burp and do you want to play dolls?

So this, and work, and sick, and laundry, and whatever the hell else I’m supposed to be doing has not made it any easier to sleep at night. Well, that and sleeping during the day, which you get used to when you feel too crappy to do anything else, and then it’s hard to break the cycle.  So since I can’t sleep, I get up and write.  And then it occurs to me (and look we’re getting to the supposed point of this post) that maybe I should try to set some sort of boundaries on my blogging.  Boundaries I’d like to set other places, like work (not so many hours) or parenting (not so many hours) or laundry (Why are there so many clothes and where the frack are the socks?) 

Husband: So like I’m not supposed to dry your underwire bras in the dryer?
Wife: I’m going to kill you.

Thing is, I love feedback.  Love, love, love it.  I am extremely susceptible to compliments.  I feed on good press, and then I’m compelled to do more, more, more!  But then I lie awake at night and along with everything else think – am I doing too much posting?  Am I annoying?  Am I pressable?  What if I write something and they think I’m not funny?  You know, like Sinatra when his voice started going but he kept singing and no one wanted to tell him to shut up?  Wait, I forgot what point I was trying to make here.

There’s a point here somewhere . . .

Oh, yeah, insecurity.  I has it.  And night time is a great time to think about this.  Which is why insomnia really sucks, unless you are just dying to catch up on infomercials.  Like this one for this leaf blower that is apparently more awesome than Jesus.  Maybe it’s powered by Jesus.  Or possibly the people in the commercial are on drugs.  They are very, very happy about this leaf blower.  And after a while, I’m thinking, I should get that leaf blower. Then I too could blow away spider webs with the force of a helicopter taking off.

Wait, that’s not a leaf blower – he’s a freaking Ghostbuster!

Anyway, I’m hoping to get my sleep cycles out of “infant” and back to “semi-adult”.  But even when I do, I still have to decide how to balance my life.  Get it? Balance.  Hahahaha. As if mothers, whether SAHMS or working moms, can ever balance their lives. I mean, unless they’re like Ann Romney and have servants and crap.  But I should probably try to balance the blogging.  So here’s the question.  How do you blog?  Do you blog every day?  Once a week?  Twice a week?  Randomly?  Do you keep a schedule?  Do you remember where your children are, or who they are?  Have you bathed lately, because I can smell you from here, I’m just sayin’. 

I dunno, do you think you should be juggling the baby?

I’d appreciate the feedback on this, because I’m trying to figure out some way to balance at least one tiny part of my life but I’m unsure how to do it.  I mean, I realize it’s up to me, but I’ve got Sinatra complex, and also ideas running about my head like mad, which makes it hard to make any decision, including what I’m going to have for supper.  So tell me how you blog, and how you came to that decision, and how long you’ve been doing it, and how you paid off those WordPress people in order to get pressed.  I really want to know.  And then maybe I can figure out how I blog as well.

I don’t get it.
Where are their faces???

Also, wtf with the jerky-I’m-gonna-take-my-sweet-time crap going on while writing and editing your posts on WordPress lately?  Huh?  It’s annoying. 

As Always,

Alice