“No more time for last minute shoppin’

It’s time to face your final destiny!”

                             –  “Christmas at Ground Zero” by Weird Al Yankovic

Maybe there’s something wrong with me.  Okay, definitely there is.  But I don’t worry so much about weapons of mass destruction (especially the non-existent ones) or terrorist groups (that the media decide to name after an Egyptian goddess despite the terrorist group not liking that name.)  I worry about more immediate things.  Here’s a quick list:

Also myself and I.

Yeah that was pretty quick and SO SELFISH, I know!  But here’s the thing, if I don’t look after myself, I can’t look after anything else.  Such as:

Family

Job

Food

Bills, bills, bills

And more bills!

Etc.  It’s not just me, though, this applies to everybody.  Until people can get their basic needs met, there’s no way to meet the needs of others.  Right now we act as a police state.  That gets a lot of people mad at us, especially in that place called the Middle East.  Our own country is a mess, yet we go to pluck the splinter out of the eye of the other guy, knowing that as soon as we leave, they will go right back to fighting about what they have fought about since before Jesus was born.

Guys, guys. Stop fighting. Have a muffin.

But what about the innocents?  We’re killing them right now.  So either way, it’s not good.  Especially since we aren’t taking care of our own people.  If you don’t have a job, or enough to eat, or medical care, or a place to live, you aren’t able to go out and make a difference with someone else.  Not easily anyway.  So I had this really odd proposition.  How’s about the government take care of us first, so we can ALL try to take care of others?

I know, I know, it makes too much sense.  But there’s no use just blaming the President.  There’s also Congress, the Senate, lobbyists, local representatives, people who don’t vote, and people who vote for really stupid people.

Exhibit A

The list goes on and on.  Voting is something we can still do, even when we’re poor (as long as we can keep certain people from trying to prevent it).  Yet even then, we’re stuck voting for who?  The only ones well-off enough to concern themselves with something other than basic needs, and who have probably been that way long enough to have forgotten about not having those needs met.

Back to square one.  Take care of self.  When you are ill, this becomes especially important.  Try to stay sane.  This is a big one on my list.  A good way to do that is to not worry about things we cannot control.  I can’t control what terrorist groups do, or what weapons they make.  If one does make a nuke, and they nuke us, well then our problems are pretty much over, right?  What’s tough is the day to day stuff.

Oh, I forgot Internet needs.

I have a friend who is extremely worried about these things, and no wonder, because the media feeds on fear mongering.  Someone’s head getting chopped off is so much more entertaining than talking about someone purposely committing a crime so he can get food, shelter, and medical care in jail.  But I don’t watch the news.  I read funny blogs, and I watch Jon Stewart, because that’s something I can control.  I can laugh.

You’re probably gonna die soon. Merry Christmas!

Is it dark humor?  Oh, yes, often so.  And there are plenty of people who would be offended at it.  Like the song I quoted at the beginning.  How dare you make fun of getting bombed, Alice?  I say it’s better that than sitting around wondering when it will happen.  Also, the song is filled with so much delightful irony (the happy music mixed in with air raid sirens, the happy lyrics mixed in with words of doom).  The girls and I love it and we listen to it while decorating the tree, or driving to school.  I find it very festive.

No, no, no, you decorate the tree, stupid.

Because right now I am not worried about WMDs, or ISIS and the like.  I’m thinking about Christmas – because You Only Live Once.  If I’m gonna get blown to smithereens, I’ll be safe in the knowledge that at least I edged people out for that last Frozen doll.

Here’s the video to Christmas at Ground Zero.  You can’t help but sing along!