Tag Archives: clowns

How to Skin a Sim: Death by Montezuma

That’s right, folks, everyone’s favorite clown is back!  Boppo!  Since we last left clownboy, Boppo’s life has not been going well.  Which is saying something since the last time we saw him I was drowning him in a swimming pool.  I was kind enough to restore the game and give him a ladder out.  And I even fed him – lots of Chinese food and pizza, cause it’s healthy, and causes massive amounts of garbage if one, say, does not happen to own a trash can. (Click to enlarge)

Last time on As the Clown Turns . . .

Last time on As the Clown Turns . . .

So garbage started piling up, which attracted flies and roaches that skittered all over the house.  Sure I could have just gotten that cheat that kills Sims right away, but where is the fun in that?  I really wanted to see Boppo’s misery for a while first.

How would he go this time?  Would the hamster in the smelly cage get hamster bite fever and bite him?  Would the flies swarm him?  What about all that spoiled food on the floor?  Surely he wasn’t going to eat that days old green, moldy piece of pizza . . . yes, yes he was.  Oh oh!

Oh, dear, Boppo has a touch of food poisoning.

Oh, dear, Boppo is never eating at Chuck E. Cheese again!

If you read the little bubble over his head, you’ll see the game is letting us know that poor Boppo has food poisoning and just needs some rest and he’ll be just fine.  So naturally I took away his bed.  And the sink.  And the shower.  And the toilet.

Fun Fact: Clown puke is multicolored and makes squeaky sounds!

Fun Fact: Clown puke is multicolored and makes squeaky sounds!

Cheer up, Boppo.  I mean sure you’ve been puking for a while, but at least you haven’t suffered any other ill effects . . . oh, wait.

Anything to declare Boppo?

So dear Boppo lives in garbage with his Montezuma’s Revenge.  I wondered how long it would take for him to die of this.  Turns out – days.  During this time, Social Worker came and took the toddler and Boppo cried for a few seconds before nagging me for a shower.  Sheesh.  If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

Whine, moan, blah blah.  Man up, Boppo.

Whine, moan, blah blah. Man up, Boppo.

He also wanted to rest, and yet his bed had somehow disappeared.  Also, the chairs started vanishing as well.  Boppo tried to sleep standing up.  I woke him up.  He fell on the ground.  I woke him up again.  But I am not a cruel monster.  I gave him food.  Sure, it was spoiled, but he wasn’t starving!  Wee Wee the poodle was also fed well – you know how dogs love garbage!  He wet on the floor and then drank it.   Wee Wee you silly dog!

Boppo was really living up to his name.  He was sadfaced and close to death.  But first, our clown buddy plopped onto the floor and went screaming yellow bonkers.  Ever seen a clown have a nervous breakdown before?  No?  Well, you’re in luck!

Aw, poor Boppo lost his mind.

Aw, poor Boppo lost his mind.

Luckily for Boppo,  a shrink appeared out of nowhere, hypnotized him, and suddenly he was no longer quite so nuts.  I felt a little bad for him then, and gave him back his sink and toilet.  Which was awesome, until right after this, he dropped dead.  A neighbor stopped by and observed.

Death be not proud, Boppo.

Death be not proud, Boppo.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any wackier, Death appeared and zipped Boppo up, or I’m guessing down, to Clown Hell.  But then he curiously hung around for a while.  And took a pee in the toilet.  No, seriously.

Death has to take a leak too.  Who knew?

Death has to take a leak too. Who knew?

So, another death down, how many to go?  Only time and the reaches of my insanity will tell.  So everyone say bye bye, Boppo.

Byeee Boppo!

Gold Canadian Unicorn Badge Found Here!

Did I mention that I won that blogroll contest?  I mean, recently?  Well, guess what?  Le Clown made badges for us and this is the best, the absolute best part.  There’s a freaking UNICORN on them.  It’s not even a stupid clown, guys, it is a unicorn!  I am so happy. 

It is the most awesome badge ever.  For one thing, it is way prettier than the Freshly Pressed badge.  I mean, sure, you get the honor of being Freshly Pressed, but is your badge gold and shiny with a freaking unicorn on it?  It’s not, is it?  No?  Losers.

It’s already on the margin of my blog, with a link to Le Clown.  I am fairly certain he didn’t make these badges because he is trying to lure new victims into his clown cave of doom.  Then again, he’s Canadian, and you just never know about those guys.  Sure they act all peaceful, but do we really know what they’re up to over there?  People should be prepared.  I am.  I have a gold seal with a unicorn on it.  Also, I’m on the Zombie Apocalypse Task Force (thanks again to Love and Lunchmeat – that’ s her name.  I don’t know why, you have to ask her.  She gave me a badge too.) and so I feel pretty secure.  Not that I’m saying the Zombie Apocalypse would start in Canada, but then again, would there be a more perfect place for zombies not to be noticed?

Speaking of Canada, there is also a Canadica badge out there, linking to the new blog where they talk about the United States and how Canada is not technically one of our states.  You can learn so much on the Internet.  Anyway, without further ado, here is my fabulous gold unicorn badge.

Yes I am a speshul snowflake.

 

I know.  You’re jealous, right?  Of course you are.

Of Clowns, Contests, and Sinus Infections

I thought I would write a post on my reflections of Le Clown’s contest because 1) I want to get more mileage out of this crap and 2) I have a sinus infection and I forget.  If you’ve never had a sinus infection, I will describe it for you.  This one feels like I’ve got a vice strapped around my head, cotton jammed up in my ears, and what remaining brain cells I have (after this contest and reading the Book That Shall Not Be Named) have started spinning around like a drunken firefly ballet, bashing into the sides of my skull with the greatest of ease.  Because of the disturbances in my equilibrium, I find myself both walking and typing like a drunken sailor. Slk jnnke;o inl;da;s kj.

I’m so sick and yet look at my fabulous hair!

 Drunken Firefly Ballet would make a good band name.  They could open for Clown Mafia.

You don’t want to wake up with one of these on your pillow. Just sayin’.

Which reminds me of that other thought I had, which was to thank everyone who gave clown nose points to me because I’m not sure how I got ahead in the nose polls.  Maybe it was leaving those horse head gifs in the inboxes of my competitors.  Or possibly it was the spirit I projected of love and friendship and rainbow ponies.  I’m thinking it was the gifs.  Anyhoo, the most important thing to remember is that

Subtle, right?

 

I WON I WON I WON I WON!          

 

 

That’s right, I came in fourth place and got a spot on the blogroll.  Yay!  There were other winners too, and really, all contestants were winners, but you should really remember that

Just in case you forgot . . .

 

I WON I WON I WON!

 

 

Oh, and the contest was also great because I met new bloggy friends and got followers, and found other blogs to follow, and wasted tons of time making snarky comments and posts, and now have some scary clown pics that are giving me nightmares.  I had hoped to write a truly moving post about the meaningfulness of this – I’m not sure meaningfulness is a word, but Computer Grammar God didn’t put a scribble line under it while it did put a scribble line under bloggy, which everyone should know is a real word.  But this sinus infection makes my thoughts fly around like my brain cells and it’s really hard to catch them and when you do you forget why you wanted to catch them anyway.

 

Okay now I’m just being a jerk.

Where was I?  Oh, right.

 

I WON I WON I WON.

 

 

If you would like better and probably saner reflections on this contest, you should go to Le Clown’s site and get the links yourself, because at this rate, I might link you to almost anything.  But I just wanted to say thanks for everything, and I love you all, and people better click on my link on the blogroll now because I still have some of those horse head gifs left, and even worse, pics of evil clowns.  So. Many. Clowns.

Keep runnin’ clown!

Le Clown through the ages

I thought for my final entry in Le Clown on Fire’s contest (this IS the final entry, right?) that I would review Le Clown through his various incarnations of horror.  Rich Full Life (RFL) you gave me the idea for this one with your resurrection of Gymbo, so this is partly all your fault.  Here we go.

Le Clown in Medieval Times.  I’m not sure if he was Punch or Judy.  Let’s go with Le Judy.  The great thing about this pic is that I can also use it in my 50 shades of grey recaps.  It’s nice to kill two clowns with one stone.

Early marriage counseling, clown style

Le Clown haunting my childhood (early ’80s).  Anyone else remember Bozo and his GRAND PRIZE GAME?  Well, now you do.  You’re welcome. 

But I don’t like Canadian clowns . . .

 

Speaking of Le Bozo, anyone else notice his uncanny resemblance to another Le Clown incarnation?

Bozo Le Clown

          

It Le Clown

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coincidence?  I think not.

Finally, we have Le Clown haunting the childhood of my children.  Just as a reminder, this is all RPL’s fault.  That’s right, folks.  We’re talking Le Gymbo.

Oh, the horror.  Have you no shame, Le Clown?  I’m never shopping at Gymboree again.

So there you go, Le Clown through time.  There were probably a few other incarnations in there, but I think that’s enough for our psyches for one day.  I hope you’re happy, clown.

– Alice

 

A Contest! With Le Clowns!

Hello, Fair Readers!

I have an announcement to make.  Le Clown- if you don’t know him, he’s a clown, and French, I guess.  Or French Canadian.  Or Brazilian.   He’s fereign, kay?  Anyway, he has a contest about who gets to be on his blogroll and the blogrolls of his other personalities.  I think I deserve a shot because I have three personalities so far.  So anyway, if I post this, I get bonus points!  For a blog roll!  Which is almost as good as not being freshly pressed.

As I stated in my original entry in this contest – the contest can be foundhere- I, my inner goddess, and my subconscious all want to be on the blog roll.  He’s going to have to choose one of us.  I guess he’d need to choose Alice, since the other personalities are sort of parasites.  Or something.  So my loyal readers, go over there and vote for me and I will interview the fictional 50 Shades character of your choice in a future blog post.  How is that for a reward?  Oh, also, you can see Le Clown’s blog which is really disturbing   interesting.

Finally, and this should go without saying, but I thought I’d point out that Hugo supports my nomination.  He has a lock of my hair at this very moment that he’s doing strange things with in a locked bedroom.  If that doesn’t mean love, I don’t know what does, people.

Edited to add: You have to like me on Le Clown’s page under my nomination (the link that says “here”), people, or no countsies, okay?  I’m contestant #5.  There is scrolling down involved.  But also a cookie.  Thanks.  I’ll try to put a damper on the insanity after I get my likes.

Alice