I have a very healthy guilt complex, and in turn a great punishment system. Whap, Alice, do not do that anymore. Bad, Alice, BAAAAD.
On the other hand, I also have that little bit of rebel in me that says “Hey MAN, you aren’t my DAD” and then does the stuff anyway.
You might realize this is a bit of a vicious cycle. When I wrote my last post, I really meant it as tongue in cheek. Yes, it’s an issue, but I haven’t spent us out of house and home, so it’s not that big of a . . .
Okay, okay! So I have an issue I must get to the bottom of presently. My recent need to overspend on stuff, vs my former need to never spend. I need to get to the bottom of this cesspool of dolly evilness. Why am I compelled to spend, then feel anxious about it? I mean I’m anxious if I don’t, and anxious if I do, so either way I’m around a mad person.
There is a need here. I mean we all have needs to fill, and we all fill them with some sort of stuff, whether it’s doing yoga in a hot room till you pass out, or eating lots of CAKE, or playing Xbox games, or doing responsible stuff like eating vegetables and working and . . . shudder. So once you find the need, you no longer have to buy the stuff.
Except you don’t have to torture yourself over it either. It’s totally okay sometimes to spend. And I have stickers, peeps, stickers that show I didn’t spend every single day. Except on the stickers, cause you know . . . quit chastising meeeee!
I did realize after getting irritated at some of the responses to my “Buy it All” post that I was actually asking for forgiveness and reassurance, and annoyed when I didn’t get it. Or just annoyed that people didn’t just think it was funny. I’m sure it has something to do with past experiences and what we bring to the table. But come on, the spending song was fun!
Well, I thought it was.
But it’s not actually your responsibility to make me feel better about myself. That’s my counselor’s responsibility. Hahahaha . . . okay, fine, it’s mine, but she does a pretty good job too. She rarely hits me with a rod, because she knows I do that too much myself. Also I probably would stop paying her.
So does this mean I am a spoiled child? Spare the rod, you know, spoil the child. What an odd saying. Like beat that kid, because if you don’t, he’ll be all like rotten fruit, all mushy, which is what the kid will be if you keep beating him with that rod. Talk about a conundrum there.
What to do, what to do? I’ll stop hitting myself with the rod for a while and wait for all of you to figure it out. I have to go shop some more at the Disney store.
THEY MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE THEY SAID IT THEMSELVES!