No, I didn’t forget a comma. I’m talking about 80’s icon, Boy George. When I was a little kid, he was a hot topic of conversation. Like the brilliant joke about the three bathrooms: Boy, Girl, Boy George. There was a glam movement in the 80’s, when men wore makeup, punk or long hair, feminine (or just plain ugly) clothes, etc. I’m not sure why. I am a woman and expected to wear makeup, for instance, and I find it annoying. Same with bras. Why would you want one if you didn’t need the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder? (I am truly channeling elementary school here.) But back to George. He was part of a group called “The Culture Club” which, speaking of school, sounds like something they made you join for a foreign languages credit.
Anyway, this was the perfect time for our Boy George to emerge from his . . . saucer? I dunno. Today I bring you one of his videos, which is remarkable for the aesthetic value . . . pfft, not really. His videos are goofy as heck. And in the case of this one, so irritating I want to put a wine screw through my ear.
What video could I be talking about? Well it’s this video is of his oh so entertaining song “Do you really want to hurt me?” in which Boy George whines “do you really want to hurt me?” roughly 5,000 times. YES. Yes, Boy George, I really want to hurt you. I really want to make you cry. Please quit singing that over and over.
If you thought the song was annoying, then you should really check out the video. It’s annoying too, but also goofy and mildly hilarious. We start in an old-time British court room complete with judge in wig, except it’s not exactly your average courtroom. First off we have a crew of black gospel singing ladies swaying back and forth in one booth. Then in another booth we have, I swear I am not making this up, a bunch of people in black face wearing glittery hats and also swaying back and forth. Clearly Boy George is being tried for making such a tasteless video. But we’ve only just begun, folks.
He puts on his sparkly sunglasses and suddenly the video says we are in “The Gargoyle Club, Soho, 1936”. Oh, goody, a history lesson with this goofy dork. I can’t wait. Boy George wears a really rockin’ sweat suit that’s clearly been bedazzled with something, possibly a bouquet of roses, I’m not sure. He also wears his signature black hat that one of my children comments looks Amish. Yeah. Boy George. Amish written all over that guy. Especially with that . . . that hair. I think it’s hair. He begins to dance around the club, and wow, his dance moves are so awesome I’m pretty sure I could do them while drunk. He sways back and forth, shaking his hips and doing this funny little twirl while he minces around the room. At this point, I can’t imagine ANYONE who doesn’t want to hurt him.
The guests are bizarre, but still stare at Boy George like the weirdo he is, and he is yanked away by . . . some guys. The fashion police, possibly. Then we start flipping back and forth. We’re in the courtroom. Now, oh oh, flashback glasses, we’re at a pool. Once again, the video informs us we are at “The Dolphin Square Health Club, 1957”. Sure we are. George walks out of the pool and starts his little dancing jig again, where people stare in horror, naturally. Check out 2:08 where George adds a little hop to his dance steps. Genius.
Two more members of the fashion police attempt to grab him, but no dice, George disappears and we’re . . . back in the courtroom! Yay! Everyone is getting down except the judge, who is all mad. George is arrested, charged no doubt with breaking all laws of good taste, and tossed in a jail cell. Now he IS sadfaced. And still singing. The gospel ladies show up at the door, grovin’ on down, and George walks out of his cell which apparently was . . . unlocked? Come ON, judge, you should have kept him locked up at least until the 1990’s.
Finally he emerges out on a stairwell, dances a bit more, and The End is mercifully plastered across the screen. And I just – wtf was that about? I have no idea. Why did Boy George choose a courtroom with blackface people? Why did he go to two historical places and freak people out? Why did he then come back? Why was he wearing a craft project? And why, at some point, does no one in the video actually HURT HIM because I’m sorry, he’s asking for it.
Well here’s the video for your own viewing pleasure. Did I miss something? Can you tell what it’s about? Is there a song / video that you’d like me to
make fun of review? Please tell me in the comments below.