The Princesses of Disneyland County: Disney Kids Gone Wild
Disclaimer: No dolls were bought during the making this post
Last time on the Princesses of Disneyland County, the Disney princes were left to babysit the children at Kristoff and Anna Kristoferson’s house. Unfortunately, the game was on, so like how were they supposed to pay attention? Football, people, priorities. Also, these are princes. They aren’t used to actual work. (Click to enlarge photos)
Exhibit A
The ladies came home to a bunch of crying kids and a big mess. But neither princes nor princesses wanted to deal with that fallout, so the kids were left again by the couples, this time with a babysitter, Skipper Charming. But Skipper was happier babysitting her boyfriend, Troy Beast, so the kids got a little rowdy yet again, jumping in the baby’s crib, digging in the trash, climbing in the oven, you know, the usual.
Exhibit B . . .
So what happened? Well, the Kristofersons want responsible kids, so they told the kids and their friends to clean up and left a babysitter, Skipper again because no one else volunteered, in charge. Skipper had broken up with boyfriend Troy, so surely stuff wouldn’t go quite so badly this time.
It went really, really badly.
If you’ll notice in the picture, we’ve got Sven Kristoferson spraying his brother with the Windex as Izzy Beast cheers him on, and his sister digs Mommy’s cell phone out of her purse. Mulan’s daughter practices her headstand, Windy White vacuums up everything, including Kelly Charming who takes a nap in the dust pan, while Rosie Prince plays in the trash and the puppy pees on the floor. Oh, and no one watches the baby, though at least she’s in her crib observing the chaos this time.
Also, is that Cinderella’s shoe in the sink? She can’t keep up with that thing, can she?
Anyway, it’s almost like you have to WATCH your children to get them to do anything right. But hey, someone was supposed to be watching them. Skipper Charming! Where did that girl go? Why not check downstairs?
Looks like Skipper’s found a new hobby and little Tamika Frogg is learning the ropes.
Kristoff gives him a proper goodbye while Anna scolds Skipper. They should be about as effective as her parents are.
Hey, kid, met the antlers of my reindeer yet?
So all’s well that ends well . . . no wait, that ended terribly, forget it. In case you wondered, yes we have made almost all of the dolls have children and named them all (if we can remember what we named them) as well as gave the parents last names and professions. Because we are totally creative and above the Wii, nevermind we’re currently not sure how to plug the Wii in.
We’ll introduce some of the other characters soon, like Belle who teaches little devils elementary students. It seemed appropriate that she be a teacher. Ariel has a job at Sea World, naturally, and, well we’ll reveal the others as make them up.
Hope you’re enjoying our little soap opera as much as we are. If not, too bad, because we’ve got gobs of pictures left! Bwahaha!
Disney Princesses – Reviewed!
I’ve always loved fairy tales and princesses. So does Disney. It might surprise you, but the “Disney Princess” line really hasn’t been around that long. It just seems that way. My Thing One, who a few years ago was content enough to let her mother dress her up in pretty, pretty princess costumes, now thinks princesses and pink are yuck. She also thinks all the princesses in the “Disney Princess” line are like replicas of each other. Well, okay, she has a point there. Which is interesting, considering that the actual princesses (some of them aren’t even princesses in their stories) do have personalities in the movies. As Thing One said, “What the heck happened to Jasmine? She was kinda tough before.”
What do you mean they all look alike . . . oh.
The answer is “marketing”. Little girls like being princesses. People are critical of this and often try to steer their kids away from such sexist notions. But I think it makes just as much sense as little boys wanting to be dinosaurs. Think about it – a princess gets to wear some awesome bling and have other people do all her chores for her. What kid wouldn’t like that gig? Also, just like dinosaurs, princesses probably get to go to bed whenever they darn well please because, well, they’re freaking princesses. I know I would still like to be a princess but my dinosaur husband is too busy stomping around to listen to me.
This is not to say that little girls can’t be dinosaurs (hello Rara!) or little boys princesses. At Thing Two’s fifth birthday party, we tried to give her boy buddy a more manly crown instead of the tiara all the girls got. He cried. So I gave him a tiara. He promptly slapped that thing on and chased the girls around with his magic wand he had transformed into a ray gun. Some things are just kind of ingrained, sorry.
Or you could be some bizarre conglomeration of both.
Anyway, what I wanted to address was Disney’s fairy tales. (I got distracted by the princessy shiny things, so sue me!) How bad are they for little kids? Are they any better, or worse, than the original fairy tales themselves? I think a lot of people miss this part. Most fairy tales were originally told as warnings. For instance, in the original Little Red Riding Hood, she’s eaten by the wolf. The end. No kindly woodsman who just happened to be hanging around grandma’s house (which is sorta creeper). Nope, she’s dead. Because if you talk to strange wolves, you get dead. Lesson: Don’t talk to strangers. Sweet dreams, honey.
I loved the Disney fairy tale movies. They had incredible animation, great songs, and beautiful characters and scenery. No one looked like Spongebob and friends. I liked that. Now note I’m talking about the cartoon feature length movies, not the sequels or most of their live action stuff, which almost always sucks. But is this a good thing for kids to watch? Guess what? I’m here to give you my reviews. Keep in mind I also read the entire 50 Shades series, so what I find appropriate might not match what you find appropriate. You never can tell. But I think we’ll have fun.
You have to wonder about the prince that lives in this castle . . .
Now most of these tales have certain themes in common.
Dead Parents: at least one of the parents is six feet under for some reason. Usually the mother. Disney hates mothers.
Bad Parenting: If the parents are alive, they aren’t that great. Either they marry stupidly (see Evil Stepmother Syndrome) or they are abusive, neglectful, or just plain stupid (see the Miller in Rumplestiltskin).
Good vs. Evil: Good is the innocent (ie dumb) princess. Bad is the parent, dragon, etc.
Cute Animal Friends: she’s almost always scarily good with animals who repay her kindness by making her clothes, cleaning her house, and not eating her.
The “Prince”: Either this guy comes in and rescues the princess, or in other cases, is the prize the girl gets for a lifetime of crap.
Happily Ever After: This usually comes in the form of a marriage. Cause everyone knows that marriage solves everything!
I’m sure there are more themes we’ll explore as I get into the stories. If you can think of others, let me know! Stay tuned for our first tale next time: Snow White and all those short guys.
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