The Disney princesses aren’t exactly wild about Mother’s Day . . .
Happy Mother’s Day – for all who have lost their moms, and all those who still have them.
So last Thursday we had a snow day. Wait, let me say that better. Snow dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Wooot! Bounce around! Stay in jammies all day, no work, no school! As you can see, I still react to snow days the way I did when I was the Things’ ages. But who doesn’t like a free day off?
Still, we should be thankful for who was responsible for dumping snow and ice on us in just the right amounts to cancel work (rather than just enough to make it crappy, which is what happened the next day). That’s right. Elsa, the snow queen from Frozen, finally did something right! Unfortunately, her friends weren’t quite so happy. My Things got it all on film.
The other princesses aren’t too happy with the situation, especially since they were at a beach party and have no pants.
You can probably guess what happened next. It was a while before the snow cleared up, and even longer before the ladies decided to go without pants.
All pictures and doll arrangements made by Thing One and Thing Two. I just loaded them and helped with captions. Hope Elsa doesn’t get too mad at all of you – or at least gets mad just the right amount.
I have developed a slight spending problem, which is really interesting since only a month ago I could hardly spend at all. I wouldn’t let myself buy anything, especially not anything possibly considered “frivolous”. There were times I’d leave entire carts of (non-perishable) items because I couldn’t bear to spend money on them, no matter what it was, and was too depressed to go return the items where they belonged. (Sorry Mecca employees.)
Now I get my best exercise going to big chain stores like Mecca, grabbing items on clearance (they often mark things down but don’t reflect it on the sticker) and running them over to the price checker. Total thrill when it comes up cheaper. If not, or I still don’t want to buy it, I return it right where it belongs, then grab something else. Rinse, repeat. When the price checkers aren’t working, I really don’t know what to do. I don’t like having an employee scan it, because they tend to not want to stay by a pole until you return with three more items. Did I mention the Abilify med I’m on makes me restless but also extremely active? To a somewhat psychotic point?
It beats being down, though, and I love it. But there is another issue. Seems my extreme self-control has been loosened, which is not that bad, except that I really have to watch it now when I add up the amount I spent on NEEDED merchandise for my online doll series that is watched by at least three people. Or my Disney / Barbie collection in general. I used to collect expensive dolls, so spending 100 and then nothing else for a long time was no big deal. But when you do it in increments of 10, 20, 30, etc, it’s like just eating one slice of cake. Then going back for another slice. And just one more.
On the plus side, not everything I want is in the stores, or at least, not at the right price. Unfortunately, there is INTERNETZ. And it’s even easier to just use your card and go CLICK and buy more stuff. Then you get packages in the mail and it’s totally like Christmas except after a while you sort of have to run home and hide the stuff so the others in your family don’t realize quite how much Christmas you are giving yourself in October and November.
But most of it I was saving for Christmas presents for my children. No, seriously, except that after a while there wasn’t much more storage space, and I had to admit that they hadn’t actually asked for a lot of it, though they’d of course like playing with it. So I’ve just started opening some of them so we could play with them now. That way Christmas is not so overwhelming. And what are toys for, but to play with? (Don’t keep them in the box! They suffocate! Have you not seen Toy Story???)
But even though I’ve never gotten us in the red, still I needed to curb the spending every day and I figured, what better way than a sticker chart? I got some stickers (Guess which kind? You will never guess.) and made it three whole days before I cracked this morning and bought this thing that had been out of stock for weeks but now it was in and if I didn’t buy it’d be gone in no time because everyone knows Mickey and Amazon have no soul.
My ten-year-old accountability partner will be so ashamed. I bet she gets her sticker for not having her bad habit today. Oh, well. I’m not sure why I feel worse about buying collectibles (even that sounds better than “toys”). I mean, aren’t most electronics technically toys, only with higher price tags? And who doesn’t have a smart phone or a tablet or an Xbox or something of that nature by now? Huh?
Do you guys have spending issues? If so, what is your weak spot?
I’ll get back on the spending sobriety wagon tomorrow I guess. I came up with a little ditty appropriately to the tune of “Let it Go”.
Let it go, Let it go
Don’t hold onto it anymore
Go ahead, spend your dough
You know you want to, oh!
Why do you care
What they’re going to say
The bank won’t foreclose
At least not until you miss some more payments . . .
I know I have medical bills
But those things are so dull
And the collectors they can’t do too much
If my wallet is now not full
It’s time for me to slow it down
To stop the spend merry-go-round
It’s okay to buy but not so much
Only guilt, only guilt!
You spent too much you git
Oh but hey, it’s okay
Perfection’s never possible anyway . . .
The girls and I were playing with their Disney dolls and we started thinking about what came after the “Happily Ever After” stuff. You know, after the honeymoon, a few years of marriage, a few kids, a mortgage, fun stuff like that. (I’m sure even castles have mortgages). And they thought fighting dragons was tough!
The princesses of course try to be good mommies but sometimes the girls have to get out, and who better to watch the kids then the princes, right? Well we happened to install a camera, and the footage isn’t good. Observe:
Yeah, so the TV was on, and it was football, and what were they supposed to do? I mean, the kids were still alive right? Let’s take a closer look.
Oh, wow, Cinderella’s not gonna be happy about that. You know how hard it is to find slippers that shatter these days?
Yes, that’s our academic Belle’s daughter beating the tar out of Ariel’s kid. On the plus side, it was a disagreement on a book.
As usual, Rapunzel’s husband Flynn hands off his responsibility to a friend. Who is not much better. Oh, well, at least he’s not stealing the silverware again.
We’re having a lot of fun playing the Princesses of Disneyland County. What else would you like to see happen to our domestic princesses and their hubbies? Let me know in the comments below.
I think I’ve mentioned before how much I love dolls. I loved them as a kid, and I love them now. My favorite thing to do was to play with Barbie and her house and her furniture and her clothes and her car (shoes suffice if you cannot afford the Corvette) and her red-headed friend Midge who had to get married cause Barbie’s weddings are all dream ones, great ornamental boyfriends with dead zombie eyes, and all those sisters, Skipper (who recently acquired tiny boobs), and Stacie and Kelly who became Chelsea cause I have no idea. There’s even a baby, except the baby is totally not hers, it’s another little sister. Even though Barbie’s like at least 25. Suuuure, Barbie, we totally believe you. By the way, have you contacted Duke from G.I. Joe for support payments? Just wondering.
And therein lies the fun of playing house when you’re older. You can sneak in all that real-life stuff that goes on behind the dream house. In other words, you can make Barbie’s life just as dysfunctional as your own. At least that’s what the girls and I like to do. I am so glad I had girls so that I can say I’m totally buying this crap for them. Though, really, why be ashamed? ES has ponies! And lots of people collect stuff. It keeps us young. And immature. And for a little while, you forget about your real laundry or real toilet or real job.
Cause Barbie does it all. I love that they recently gave that chick a washer and a dryer. She had to have Cinderella come over to show her how to use it. On the plus side, she loves pink, so not knowing how to sort works out well for her. And if the clothes are totally wrecked, she just buys more on the credit card she took out in Ken’s name that he doesn’t know about yet.
She’s had roughly 300 careers or so, probably cause she is constantly fired once they realize her resume is full of fake stuff like “Totally went to the moon once” and “good with children and zoo animals.” Still, she manages to keep up appearances by owing about half the national debt and otherwise hitting up various boyfriends for nice presents. Like Paris Hilton, only Barbie’s not quite so plastic.
One of Barbie’s most recent careers is “Entrepreneur” – she comes with an Ipad, a cellphone, and of course a purse. My brother snorted and said she couldn’t even spell entrepreneur much less be one, but she also ran for president a while back, and that doesn’t require spelling or even knowledge of geography, so I figure she’ll be just fine. Maybe she’ll open an account on Etsy and fill it with clothes she ripped off from her friends. Midge is a married crone now, so she will never miss all the nice stuff she used to wear.
Barbie’s friends come and go, probably because she’s a selfish twit. On the other hand, she might be sneakier than we know, and have them buried under her dream house. Now that would be an interesting new career: serial killer. More realistic than cop (though this would be the best cover-up) or pilot (I would not get on her plane).
Anyway, since she can’t keep Barbie friends, she hangs with the Disney princesses, cause all those gals are catty. Sure they look nice in the movies, but you didn’t see when Sleeping Beauty (Aurora) went out with Prince Charming (I saw someone say his name was Adam but I really think it was Charming cause his father was a moron)- there was a nasty fight there. But as it turned out, it was all a simple mistake. Aurora was drowsy and those princes are so hard to tell apart anyway. So all was forgiven. After Cinderella let her mice out in Aurora’s castle.
Anyway, we’ve had some fun playing Life after the Fairy Tale with Barbie and her Princess Posse. Not that surprising – remember we glittered the crap out of a pony. Anyway, if you’re feeling down, grab a Barbie and relive your childhood. Giving her a mohawk is a good first step.