Tag Archives: disney villains

Disney Villains watch the Final Presidential Debate

I figured, when watching this last debate, who better to help out than those who know politics best: Disney villains.  The Things helped gather all those we could find for a focus group.  Maleficent got caught in traffic, or so she said.  And Cinderella’s evil stepmother was busy working on the third party (the evil party) campaigns of her stepdaughters.  But most of them showed up, partly because I promised them pardons from their respective kingdoms.

They're all ready to take notes.  We'll see how long it takes them to figure out this isn't Dance Moms.

They’re all ready to take notes. We’ll see how long it takes them to figure out this isn’t Dance Moms.

First question: What’s your opinion on the second amendment that guarantees your right to free arms?  Should there be gun restrictions, yadda.

Gaston: YES!  GUNS! Jafar: What about magic? Hans: Sword will do in a pinch.

Gaston: YES! GUNS!
Jafar: What about magic?
Hans: Sword will do in a pinch.

Second question: What do you think of abortions, specifically late term abortions?

Mother Gothel: I love children!  Especially ones with magical hair. Ursula: I prefer after birth abortions.  Once you have their voice.

Mother Gothel: I love children! Especially ones with magical hair I can kidnap.
Ursula: I prefer after birth abortions. But really, who needs a voice?

Third question: What is your stance on immigration?  Should we build a wall or help them become citizens?

Jafar: Keep out the street rats Gaston: I say we shoot them. Hans: I wouldn't mind them building me a castle first.

Jafar: Keep out the street rats
Gaston: I say we shoot them.
Hans: I wouldn’t mind them building me a castle first.

Fourth Question: Wikileaks has been leaking secret information, possibly from Russia.  What do you think of that?

Ursula: It IS nice to have things to hold against people, bwahahaha. Mother Gothel: Wikileaks sounds like a plumbing problem.

Ursula: It IS nice to have blackmail against people, bwahahaha.
Mother Gothel: Wikileaks sounds like a plumbing problem.

Fifth question: How do you plan to help the economy?

All: Tax cuts for villains.  The evil will trickle down.

Hans: Tax cuts for villains. The evil will trickle down.  Others: Works for us.

Sixth Question: Do you believe you are fit to be president?  Is it okay to grope women?

Gaston: Groping women is great! Evil Hag: Only if we get to grope back

Gaston: Groping women is great!
Evil Hag: Only if we get to grope back.

Sixth question: Let’s talk about ISIS, Syria, and Iraq.  How are you going to fix it all?

Who cares?  I want to know about my social security!

What are those? I want to know about my social security!

Seventh Question: How are we going to fund Social Security, Medicare, and control the National Debt?

Evil Hag: My economy was based purely on beauty products.  We were fine. Now give me my check.

Evil Hag: My economy was based purely on beauty products. We were fine. Now give me my check.

Will you accept the results of the election?

Gaston: No. Jafar: No. Hans: I'm going to say yes, because it sounds good. Then I'll kill my opponent.

Gaston: No.
Jafar: No.
Hans: I’m going to say yes, because it sounds good. Then I’ll kill my opponent.

Any closing statements?

Hans: I think we all know I'd be best at this thing.  I'm a sociopath, but I'm subtle about it. Queen of Hearts: Off with their heads!

Hans: I think we all know I’d be best at this thing. I’m a sociopath, but I’m subtle about it.
Queen of Hearts: Off with their heads!

So I guess they got as much out of the debate as the rest of us.  The most important question was one that was so easy for Mr. Trump.  Will you agree to transfer power?  He sorta answered that one wrong.  As Hans knows, you have to be subtle to truly make it in politics.  Tsk Tsk.

Did any of you see the debate?  What did you think of it?

~Alice