In case you missed it somehow, I dig that movie Frozen. The funny thing is, I’ve only watched it twice (I swear! No word on how many times I’ve heard one of the songs). I also love collecting the dolls along with my kids. I got a new Elsa – she’s so fancy, everybody knows, cause she’s got a fancy outfit, and a fancy price. But anyhoo, she’s also quite flexible if you TAKE HER OUT OF THE BOX. I mean, really, what else do you buy and then just leave in the box forever? I don’t get it. You’re supposed to play with them. Studies show that if more people just played with dolls, they wouldn’t be playing boom boom with guns and accidentally shooting their pals during drunken hunting trips. Or becoming vice president.
But moving on. Even if you haven’t seen the movie at all, you can’t help but know some of the songs because they are played over and over. And over. In one of them “Do you want to build a snowman?” Anna sits outside of her sister Elsa’s door for like thirteen years or so, asking her to come out and play. Anna doesn’t take a hint easily. Anyway, I was wondering if, while Anna was out there running around the castle aimlessly and banging on her door, or sitting at her door, or leaning up against her door, what was Elsa doing in her room?
Well it just so happens there was a hidden camera in her room (probably set there by a relative of that creeper Hans) that caught some of Elsa’s moves on camera. Let’s check them out, shall we?
My parents locked me in my room cause I have freezing powers and my little sister has spent the last decade slamming her body into my door and screaming at me to go play with her. It was all her fault I froze her brain in the first place. I’d thank you to please answer my letter this time instead of telling me to “please seek help”. That’s why I WROTE you. Jeez.
I am trying to practice Yoga to help with my little problem. I keep freezing my Yoga mat and slipping. Also when I do headstands, the blood rushes to my head and and I get brain freeze. Should I give it up?
Gymnastics is really tough. I can do a mean splits, but it doesn’t appear super elegant in my wool dress. My parents will not buy me a leotard despite being a king and queen. They are unfair, especially since they let Anna ride a bicycle through the house while standing up. I heard her crash into the stairs the other day.
My parents went away on a two week trip, so I did a little dance. It’s hard to dance in this dress. I don’t dare go out, yet, because my sister just told me our parents mysteriously died in a shipwreck. I don’t believe her. I think she is possessed.
I don’t actually play with ponies. I am a collector. I just think they’re nice, is all, and magical, and sparkly, and express the true meaning of friendship. Also I think they are spiritual talismans that can ward off evil. I plan on stringing one around my neck before I face my sister.
I’m tired of this buttoned up look. I decided to show off a little shoulder today. Look out, world.
Oops, some wind blew up my dress the other day. I have some pretty nice legs. I wonder if my powers could go into dressmaking? Did I tell you I created a living snowman back when I was four?
P.S. I think I’m finally ready to leave my room. You can call off the restraining order now.
So anyway, for those of you at all familiar with the movie – what do YOU think Elsa was doing behind the door? Also, do you think maybe Anna is secretly evil? Here’s a video that might give you second thoughts.
I have developed a slight spending problem, which is really interesting since only a month ago I could hardly spend at all. I wouldn’t let myself buy anything, especially not anything possibly considered “frivolous”. There were times I’d leave entire carts of (non-perishable) items because I couldn’t bear to spend money on them, no matter what it was, and was too depressed to go return the items where they belonged. (Sorry Mecca employees.)
Now I get my best exercise going to big chain stores like Mecca, grabbing items on clearance (they often mark things down but don’t reflect it on the sticker) and running them over to the price checker. Total thrill when it comes up cheaper. If not, or I still don’t want to buy it, I return it right where it belongs, then grab something else. Rinse, repeat. When the price checkers aren’t working, I really don’t know what to do. I don’t like having an employee scan it, because they tend to not want to stay by a pole until you return with three more items. Did I mention the Abilify med I’m on makes me restless but also extremely active? To a somewhat psychotic point?
It beats being down, though, and I love it. But there is another issue. Seems my extreme self-control has been loosened, which is not that bad, except that I really have to watch it now when I add up the amount I spent on NEEDED merchandise for my online doll series that is watched by at least three people. Or my Disney / Barbie collection in general. I used to collect expensive dolls, so spending 100 and then nothing else for a long time was no big deal. But when you do it in increments of 10, 20, 30, etc, it’s like just eating one slice of cake. Then going back for another slice. And just one more.
On the plus side, not everything I want is in the stores, or at least, not at the right price. Unfortunately, there is INTERNETZ. And it’s even easier to just use your card and go CLICK and buy more stuff. Then you get packages in the mail and it’s totally like Christmas except after a while you sort of have to run home and hide the stuff so the others in your family don’t realize quite how much Christmas you are giving yourself in October and November.
But most of it I was saving for Christmas presents for my children. No, seriously, except that after a while there wasn’t much more storage space, and I had to admit that they hadn’t actually asked for a lot of it, though they’d of course like playing with it. So I’ve just started opening some of them so we could play with them now. That way Christmas is not so overwhelming. And what are toys for, but to play with? (Don’t keep them in the box! They suffocate! Have you not seen Toy Story???)
But even though I’ve never gotten us in the red, still I needed to curb the spending every day and I figured, what better way than a sticker chart? I got some stickers (Guess which kind? You will never guess.) and made it three whole days before I cracked this morning and bought this thing that had been out of stock for weeks but now it was in and if I didn’t buy it’d be gone in no time because everyone knows Mickey and Amazon have no soul.
My ten-year-old accountability partner will be so ashamed. I bet she gets her sticker for not having her bad habit today. Oh, well. I’m not sure why I feel worse about buying collectibles (even that sounds better than “toys”). I mean, aren’t most electronics technically toys, only with higher price tags? And who doesn’t have a smart phone or a tablet or an Xbox or something of that nature by now? Huh?
Do you guys have spending issues? If so, what is your weak spot?
I’ll get back on the spending sobriety wagon tomorrow I guess. I came up with a little ditty appropriately to the tune of “Let it Go”.
Let it go, Let it go
Don’t hold onto it anymore
Go ahead, spend your dough
You know you want to, oh!
Why do you care
What they’re going to say
The bank won’t foreclose
At least not until you miss some more payments . . .
I know I have medical bills
But those things are so dull
And the collectors they can’t do too much
If my wallet is now not full
It’s time for me to slow it down
To stop the spend merry-go-round
It’s okay to buy but not so much
Only guilt, only guilt!
You spent too much you git
Oh but hey, it’s okay
Perfection’s never possible anyway . . .