I was feeling a lot better, but then I started feeling not as good. I’m not sure why. It might have been going back to work and trying to get used to regular life again. Or maybe that’s just part of treatment. At any rate, I am going back for another extra treatment today. Hopefully that will help.
There’s one other thing that might help, though. I’m not sure if you’ve watched the news (or the comedy shows that do as good a job only more amusing) but it seems little Donny is a moron. Remember how Hillary Clinton lost the election mostly because of her stupid emails? Yeah? Well, guess what?! She’s not the only one with dumb emails. It seems Don Jr met with a Russian lawyer who gave him confidential info on Hillary which they then used to influence the 2016 election. We’ve been suspecting there was collusion between the Trumps and the Russians for a while, but no one thought that a Trump would actually flat out give written proof of it. I told my thirteen-year-old about this and she frowned and asked, “Isn’t that treason?” Yes, Thing Two, yes it is, good job. Now if only adults on Fox News would figure it out, it’d be great. Till then, we can watch them squirm.
Now I have clips from Stephen Colbert of the Late Show and Trever Noah of the Daily Show. Sure I could have found a bunch of official news clips, but you can do that. This is much less boring. Anyway, my point here is that this has the potential to cheer me up quite a bit. I know it did last night when Thing One and I were watching and laughing so hard we nearly fell out of our chairs. Of course, I could be wrong. They are rich jerks and often they tend to get away with anything but – if nothing else they are not going to shake this for a while. It should keep them busy. Too busy – I hope – to keep working on that healthcare bill that will leave 23 million more uninsured. Yes, Fox News is trying to defend the Trumps and sounding almost as ridiculous as Don Jr. did when he tweeted out the entire email chain containing information that directly links him to the scandal. I did you the favor of linking clips from the Daily Show and the Late Show right here!
And not to forget Stephen’s report – view them both to get all the goodies, if you haven’t already . . .
Weee! Who says you can’t have Christmas in July? Stayed tuned.
Your raving reporter,
A couple of days ago, my husband brought me a “letter” that had been shoved in my mailbox with no stamp. Since it’s a federal offense to mess with someone’s mailbox, either some unhinged person committed a crime to get this important info to me, or my mailman is Mr. McCreepy. Pretty sure my mailman is not McCreepy, but someone creepy was there, at my house, and he brought me what can only be considered the manifesto of a seriously whacked out person – possibly on crack.
In case you were wondering, even after the title, this was a from a Trump supporter. Now I’m not saying all Trump supporters are whacked out maniacs. Some are quite reasonable when it comes to everyday life until you get to politics, at which point some spring in their heads goes ‘boing’ and all systems shut down. I’m fairly sure, though, that this guy falls in the whacked out maniac category. Anyway, without further ado, here it is. Click to better view the Cray.
Apparently there’s a website (this is why it’s important to bring a buddy with you if you venture out into the Internet) out there called bamboo-delight.com. I’m not sure what bamboo has to do with antisemitism and bizarre conspiracy theories, but there you go. What’s odd about the original print out is that it says George Bush is the evil one working with the Jews to destroy the world. Mr. McCray had to add in Hillary at the top in order to update things, since this is archival cray here. And since the print out uses Bush, then clearly it’s not just a Republican / Democrat thing. It’s a . . . all government is evil thing. And the Jews. Don’t forget them.
As bad as this print out is, it’s still not quite as bad as the person writing his (or her?) own notes on it. You should notice multiple websites scribbled in ink which I am NOT going to click on because I can only imagine the cooties my computer will consume. But we’ve got totally reputable sounding ones like “DarkMoon dot me”, “The forbidden truth dot com”, “Truth11 dot com”, “tortured in America dot org”, “stoppoliticalassassinations dot com” and you can’t forget the blog “Care and washing of the brain at blogspot dot com”. I have written out the dot coms because I really don’t want these people tracing back to my blog. I already have to do a care and washing of my brain at this point.
And another thing – aren’t people who would type out something like this be the type who would advocate assassinating candidates? They’ve always had sane reasons before, like the one who tried to kill Ronald Reagan because he wanted to impress Jodi Foster. Makes total sense.
I did look up the word “ussa” since the writer cautioned people that we were either the USA or the USSA. The USSA seemed to either be a sports team or auto insurance. But then I found the truth on Wikipedia. See back in college Barack Obama was forming the American Socialist States of America. Oh, okay. The Wikipedia article knows this to be true, because “Michelle noticed that Obama had a mustache, much like ol’Hitler and Joseph Stalin, and left him for that guy who lost the 2004 elections”. This comes from something known as the Uncyclopedia, which I like to think people don’t actually believe is real, because that makes me feel better.
He also seems concerned about gun ownership, because surely he needs to defend himself against Hillary, who is in league with THE JEWS and probably that commie Barack Obama. He lists gun owners dot com and the America Defense Fund dot com site. That this guy probably has weapons makes me feel all gushy inside, like my insides have been splattered. We should probably all be wearing bullet proof vests at this point. Because you never know when one of these guys is going to walk up to your door. Or a Jew. Because . . . Jews.
That he has seized on the Jews as a scapegoat is a little odd, because – didn’t Hitler kind of do that? And he’s supposedly not wanting a Hitler. So you’d think he’d just stick with Muslims, minorities, immigrants, women, and well most of the population, like Trump does. It’s been effective for the guy so far. But no, Hillary is truly evil and she and her Jew army (just what?) are going to take over the U.S.A. and then won’t you be sorry. So be sure and look up all the youtube links and find out the truth for yourself. Or don’t, really, don’t do it.
You think he’s done, but there’s a back page. No more print, just scribbles.
And don’t forget these sites! “One humanity, one love” especially grips me. Because this guy is clearly calling for tolerance here. Unless, you know, you don’t vote for Trump. Or you’re Jewish.
So what to make of all of this? I think it demonstrates one very chilling truth. Trump is not the scariest part of this election. It is the people who have consistently supported him who scare me. People who think it’s okay to be racist, sexist, and hateful. Who want there to be “one humanity” that is them. If you aren’t like them, then stay behind your wall. Stay in your country that is bombed everyday. Because at this point, I don’t know how much better it is over here. I thought we had come so far. I was wrong. People like this guy still exist, and worse, there are so many others, enough to get Trump nominated for president of our country. And it’s not just the rich white men. It’s poor people, minorities, and women voting for him. I don’t understand that at all.
How can you vote for someone who thinks that YOU, yes, YOU are not worthy of respect. Who thinks it’s okay to send people away or discriminate against them because of their religion, or the color of their skin, or their lack of wealth, or their gender. I’ve always been a Democrat, but while I disagree with Republicans on many issues, I’ve never actually been scared of one before, scared of what he will do with this country. Hillary is not an angel. But even Trump admitted that she doesn’t give up. She keeps going, no matter how many insults are hurled at her. And in this campaign, all decency and decorum has been thrown out the window. You can hate Hillary. But Trump – he is the leader to fear. He speaks to the worst in all of us – to the fear, to the hate, to the anger that we all have because of injustices in this country, to the need to blame somebody.
You want someone to blame? We must blame ourselves. Because things have gotten truly bad here, enough that Trump has been able to seize on our weaknesses to bring himself to power. But he is not the one to fix the problems in this country. That’s up to us. We have more power than we realize. There are more of us than there are of people like him. Yet almost 50 percent of the country refuses to vote. Half of the country. Do you think those votes could make a difference? Maybe not individually, but together, oh yes it can. I’m not telling you to vote for Hillary. But please, vote for someone. Vote for third party, write in someone, use your voice, use your right that people fought and died for, because that is our power.
It’s time we put it to use.
Or as much as we could stomach of it. Which was about one hour. Though as soon as Donald made one comment in an earlier video (minutes before it actually started) Thing Two said she was done. But she soldiered on. They are asked questions from an audience of uncommitted voters and moderators. I remember Anderson, but forget the other moderator and don’t want to look it up. I tried to break up the different questions, but it’s honestly hard to tell. Here it goes:
Anderson Cooper – Hello and welcome.
Thing One : Anderson’s thinking “Kill me now.”
First audience question: Do you think this election has been good for kids since it could have had “mature rating”. Are you modeling appropriate behavior for today’s youth?
As Hillary rambles, Donald is making faces behind her. Especially frowns when Hillary says I want your vote, but I think we should bring the country together.
Trump: Yeah, everything she said. I started this campaign because I was tired of what was going on in the country. I can’t believe I’m saying this about myself, but I guess I am a politician.
Me: I can’t believe you’re a politician either
Thing One: I think he’s making up percentages. Neither one is answering the question. It’s just more about their campaigns.
Me: Yeah I had to look at the question again cause I totally forgot.
Thing One: He’s talking so softly. Maybe Trump IS sick from the air sniffing.
Anderson Cooper: And grabbing women’s . . .
Thing One: This is NOT age appropriate.
Trump: Well we have terrorists chopping off heads . . .
Me: Wait, what? Are we talking about women now, or terrorists, or . . .
Thing Two: I don’t like this
Thing One: Go check on our cinnamon rolls
Anderson: So you never touched women without their consent?
Trump: I have always had respect for women
Me: That’s why I call them big and fat.
Trump: Gonna build borders
Thing One: What does that have to do with women?
Thing Two: Mom, look at Hillary’s face. She looks bored.
Hillary: I’ve disagreed with other candidates but never questioned their ability to be president. Donald Trump is not fit to be president. He’s nasty to women, POWs, Muslims, everyone else, etc. Oh snap
Thing One: Trump is starting to walk around now
Thing Two: I think Trump’s lip is falling off his face. Donald, you orange freak.
Hillary: We are great because we are good. (huh?) And we will get people to behave again.
Thing One: If we have to put everyone in time-out corner.
Trump: I want to answer on this. Blah blah blah Hillary words blah blah.
Moderator: Mr. Trump please stop talking
Trump: She gets to talk and I don’t? Whine.
Moderator: Here’s an online campaign question. Something about shameful actions – choose one. And you have two minutes.
Trump: Did I mention I have great respect for women? Oh and Bill Clinton. And Hillary’s mean too.
Applause cause of what he just brought up, which was – I’m not even sure what the question is – did it change? It’s not up on the board so we can’t tell.
Hillary: I am reminded of what my friend Michelle Obama (did I mention MICHELLE?) said – when they go low, you go higher. (higher cheers) Brings up the Muslim family whose son died in combat. He never apologized to this person, to this person, to this person . . . he owes our country an apology
Me: They both do.
Trump: You owe other people an apology – I saw vicious commercials of Michelle talking about you – talk about friend, nanner. And Bernie Sanders, you didn’t win fair and square. I suddenly care about this.
Thing Two: Trump says: In third grade I got in trouble for being racist . . .
Me: He would never admit that..
Trump: I didn’t think I would say this but . . . (yeah right) when I’m president I am going to get a special prosecutor to look into your situation.
Thing One: Hillary is smiling so wide, ha ha!
Me: Now she’s actually laughing silently
Hillary: (thrilled – she may break out into another dance) It is good that someone with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge.
Trump: Cause you’d be in jail
Applause. No, really.
Anderson: Quit wasting time.
Other moderator: Yes let’s. Now Hillary about your emails.
Me: AGAIN? Yes let’s not waste time.
Hillary: Yeah I was kinda dumb but haven’t they kinda already grilled me on this enough? Also I had a lot of secrets cause I was Secretary of State (unlike youuu Donald) and so there was classified info.
Trump: She didn’t know the letter “c” on a document.
Thing One: She got a grade on her document?
Thing Two is laying down with headphones listening to music.
Thing One: Wait he’s going against Republicans now? That’s not helping.
Me: Thing Two, I smell Republicans. Wait, I mean cinnamon rolls.
Moderator: We need to move on.
Trump: Ramble, ramble.
Moderator: Please let her respond
Trump: Ramble ramble ramble.
Hillary: I know, Donald, you want to distract things since the Republicans are all dumping youuuu.
Trump: What about emails?
Another audience question finally: Obamacare hasn’t helped much. How will you bring costs down, etc?
Moderator: That’s for you, Hillary
Hillary: Oh he can take it.
Thing One: Yes go for it, mess yourself up
Moderator: No you, Hillary.
Thing Two begins making a representation of the debate with Yoda, a bear, an inflated palm tree, a cardboard Zelda shield, and tiny anime people. I don’t understand it, but it makes as much sense as anything else.
Trump starts rambling about how Obamacare BAD.
Anderson: Time up Trump! Oh, uh, Hillary didn’t your husband say Obamacare was stupid?
Hillary is very smooth picking up on this. I still don’t understand it, but hey she’s cool about it.
Hillary: It was meant to do all these things . . . So 20 million people do have health insurance which is something. If we rip it off we give it back to the insurance cause . . .
Anderson: Time is up. (probably takes a stiff drink)
Trump rambles on. Anderson attempts to direct the question. In any direction.
Trump: It’s gonna be so good.
Anderson: But specifics on what you’re doing?
Trump: It was a fraud. Competition. And stuff.
Audience question: Uh I’m a Muslim. What are you going to do about Islamaphobia?
Trump: That’s too bad, but hey you guys are all terrorists. And Obama and Hills won’t say the word. They won’t, they won’t.
Thing Two: Cinnamon rolls are burnt, just like the state of our country.
Hillary: Dangerous talk about your people, a gift to terrorists. We aren’t at war with Islam.
Moderator: What about the Muslim ban?
Trump: By the way that Muslim captain whose parents I made fun of? If I had been president, he’d still be alive
Me: Cause he’s like God?
Moderator: Could you please tell if the Muslim ban stands? You know, the question I asked.
Trump: Hillary and Obama want tons of Muslims. Trojan horse!
Moderator: Will you take these Syrian refugees in when they might be dangerous?
Hillary: There are children suffering, etc. We are not carrying the load of Europe. We have vetting.
Thing One: Pretty sure these guys just want to get away from war not be troublemakers.
Me: That makes too much sense, Thing One.
Hillary: You were for the war on Iraq, Trump, it’s on tape. Like real tape.
Trump: No I wasn’t. You were for it.
Moderator: Okay . . .
Trump: Hey she got 25 more seconds earlier. There are really bad people coming in.
Thing One: And uh some are just normal families?
Thing Two is using a Gaston doll from Beauty and Beast to talk: How about I run for president! I would be perfect!
Moderator question: Wikileaks stuff. Hillary you said you had a private and a public position on it? Is that being two-faced?
Hillary: Uh, that quote was from me talking about a movie on Abraham Lincoln.
Thing Two with Gaston: I will make sure all women are treated bad and all books are banned!
Me: He’s like a good looking Trump.
Thing Two: The debate: Poopy face, Poopy head!
Thing One is making Elsa fly.
Trump: She’s blaming the lie on Abraham Lincoln. Honest Abe never lied.
Thing One: Really? You know this?
Trump: Russians. They aren’t really hacking. I know nothing about about Russians.
Me: Well true, except Putin.
Thing Two: I think I know who the liar is.
Trump goes on about how much taxes he has paid. Hillary stands there and smiles broadly.
Thing Two: Hillary “I smell something fishy. It’s Trump!”
Person in audience: What would you do to change the tax code?
Thing Two: the worst job in the world is moderator
Trump: blah blah negative ads blah Hillary complains but hasn’t helped stuff blah I’m lowering taxes for corporations
Me: Yes that would help.
Hillary is most fun to watch while Trump speaks. Blink. Blink.
Thing One: Do the rich still pay their fair share? Question mark. No, not gonna answer? Nope, figures.
Hillary is shaking her head.
Thing Two: Hillary looks like she has a Vanilla Ice song in her head, gettin’ down.
Hillary: I hate to keep saying everything he says is a lie (but I will). Kinda funny that he has avoided so many taxes and he’s telling about how he’ll fix it. In my plan, nobody who makes less than 250,000 will be taxed.
Me: Well girls, we are very very VERY safe on her plan. Take off the 2, you got a little more than our combined salaries. Aren’t there commercial breaks???
Thing Two is talking. Thing One: Thing Two, I’m trying to understand this debate even though it makes no sense.
Trump: Much of my tax stuff is depreciation -that made Hillary’s head jerk up. Now she’s grinning open mouthed as he goes on.
Trump: It’s all talk and no action.
Thing Two: Mee mee mee mee
Thing One: Bernie is getting tired of Trump using his quotes too much.
Thing Two: I miss Bernie. He’s better than them.
Trump: Why didn’t you do anything as senator?
Hillary: Cause I was under a Republican president.
Snap! Applause. Clearly this is a one line zinger debate.
Thing Two: Hillary should get it. 1. Political experience. 2. Not Trump 3. Nice earrings 4: Balances out what’s in her mind.
Thing One: She’s like an old Elsa!
Thing Two: Trump is thinking “all around me are familiar facesss”
We’ve all lost track of what’s going on.
Moderator: Mr. Trump we’re gonna move on. We’re gonna move on. Move on. Okay solve the humanitarian crisis in Syria. Two minutes.
Hillary is talking. The girls are starting to snap at one another, there is the an inflatable tree involved.
Me: How many minutes are we in?
Thing One: It’s 9:04 – it’s been an hour.
Thing Two: I want to go to bed now.
T.V. goes off. Snap!
Hope you enjoyed out report from the front. If anything else happened, we have no idea, nor do we care at this point. We’re not even sure what happened while we were watching. There’s only so much sanity you can spare. Be sure and let us know.
I’m out for a while, guys, away from Facebook news and stuff gets like, crazy crazy. Droopy Dog Cruz just drops out, ka-poof, like he was tired of people (like fellow senators) saying he was the devil or something. And apparently Kasich dropped out too, though no one really noticed, just like they didn’t really notice he was running. And for like two days I didn’t even know this. My mother told me, and we don’t even talk all that often (Happy Mother’s Day Mom and Ted!).
Even weirder, there’s not even that much about it on Facebook, the place I get all my liberally biased news. That’s right, Facebook suppresses conservative news too! (I tried to find the Gizmodo article, but only got this article by the same guys about painting a room by blowing up paint.) I think it must be true, though, cause Facebook news says Tylenol can make you emphasize less with people, which must be why I don’t care about a lot of really stupid people. Frequent headaches and all. Anyway, so we are left with . . .
No one quite knows what to do with this. Oh, sure, comedians can laugh about it, but there’s this little edge to their laughter like ha ha Trump might be our president it’s hilarious and hahahahaha . . . ha . . . cough . . . choke.
So we’re left with Hillary and Bernie still duking it out because even though Bernie doesn’t stand much of a chance now, unlike Cruz, he’s just not going to leave Hillary alone until he absolutely has to because where would the fun in that be, huh? Meanwhile, Facebook does bother to announce that, hello, Trump just won – uh what was that latest state – he won one, guys, and I am totally surprised what with him being the only one running. Why are they bothering to announce this? Is it actually possible for someone to be the only candidate and still lose? I mean saying he’s not a Democrat running in Texas?
These days? Anything is possible. ANYTHING.
One might think this is good for Democrats. The problem is, if Hillary wins, there are many Bernie supporters who claim “Bernie or Bust” which is quite true because if they don’t vote for Hillary, they will, in fact, be voting for Trump, meaning “bust” big time. Ka-boom. I will write this out slowwwwly for people who are still uncertain about our two party system. If you don’t vote for the candidate picked, even if you don’t like this candidate, you are, in effect, voting for the other party. So then you just have to decide. Hillary or Trump?
I think I lost some people there. Come back, Canada is closing the gates!
This whole thing makes as much sense as that old song about cake getting wet. You know “Someone left my cake out by the ocean” . . . wait, no that’s the new song with one of those Jonas brothers about . . . it’s totally just about eating cake by the ocean young Disney Channel viewers. It’s edgy though, cause he says like bad words, and talks about cake. Cake that is bound to get wet. And you know what happens then. I don’t think that I can take it. Cause it took so long to bake it. And we are never having that recipe again.
Oh nooooooooooo! Ohhhhhhh nooooooo!
Did you see those metaphors just come flyin’ at you there? I did. They didn’t make any sense, just like this election, so it’s like we just took a perfectly good cake, left it out in the rain, on the beach, near a Jonas brother and a bunch of girls in bikinis, and now Trump may be President of the United States. Actions have consequences, people. Jonas brothers, ruined cake, Oompa Loompa politicians, people moving in mass to Canada where they probably don’t even have cake or oceans, I don’t know, and someone just “Wake Me Up When It’s All Over”. When I’m wiser and I’m sober.
Till then, let’s just eat cake and dance to stupid songs.
I hope you all had a great Easter weekend. I didn’t. I had stomach ISSUES and they weren’t fun and worst of all they kept me from Facebook for an entire day. Do you realize what I could have missed with no Facebook News for a whole day? Everything! Maybe Donald said something racist or stupid. Maybe the Enquirer said Ted Cruz was having multiple affairs (luckily I saw THAT one on the newsstand). Or maybe someone gave Bernie Sanders the bird.
Luckily for me, I also have my Things – er daughters, and they are very happy to pass on political news of great importance. Thing One showed me a site called Loser.com that I had never heard of until today. If you go to the site, you are directed immediately to the Wikipedia page of Donald Trump. So did someone buy the domain loser.com just to troll Donald? Nah, loser.com has been trolling since 1995 in what the Washington Times called “quiet, pointless obscurity”, its targets having been Al Gore, Obama, and naturally Kanye West (please say he doesn’t run for office). Donald is just the latest, but like everything Donald, his has gotten the most attention. I’m shocked Donald hasn’t tried to sue yet (that we know of that is).
Another exciting bit of news (from Time Magazine who also reported on Donald being the latest loser.com victim – way to report Time!) is this video of teen “mean girls” reading the tweets of Donald Trump. It’s absolutely hilarious until you realize that everything those girls say was actually said first by a 70-year-old man who wants to be President. Then it’s still funny, but a little sad. I wonder if he will continue with the highly effective communication tool if elected President. Pfft, of course he will.
As far as Facebook News, I am with Ted Cruz who says reports of his multiple affairs are ridiculous. Getting the one woman to marry him had to be an act of voodoo witchcraft – I can’t imagine anything being powerful enough to get him women on the side. Imagine waking up to that face. Oh crap – imagine waking up to that face even on the T.V. I feel a little ill.
Cause really, who would you rather see on your televisions each day?
Kindly if slightly batty old grandpa Bernie Sanders?
Retired librarian who tries to look cool Hillary Clinton (as a librarian I can vouch for this statement – it’s a tough job).
Oompa Loompa with Tourette’s Donald Trump?
Or . . . or Droopy Doo Doo dog, Ted “Creeper” Cruz?
I don’t know about you, but out of this admittedly less than stellar list, I choose the Bern. I’m not the only one. Wildlife likes him too, as evidenced by the video in which a cute birdie landed on his podium during a speech. You might think this an incredible coincidence (and something supporters at the rally got a little too excited about – even before the bird got close to Bernie) but it’s not. Bernie commands wildlife, guys. It’s the Democratic Socialist Disney Princess effect. Remember that Hitchcock movie “The Birds”? I’d be careful, Hillary and Republicans! Bernie could unleash his hoard at any time. Anyway, the bird was cute enough to make it into a Bernie endorsement video. Cut from video: Duet of “I’m Wishing” from Snow White whistled by Bernie and the bird.
Aw. Poor little sparrow-whatever-that-bird-is had no idea he was a dove and is even more confused. Lucky for the bird, he landed near a Democrat. I can just imagine a Republican, like, I dunno, Donald, taking a shot at him. I could also see one of his supporters shouting “Sparrow season!” – if said supporter weren’t busy punching a Trump protester. Speaking of violence, many Republicans are hoping to allow “open carry” guns at the Republican National Convention this year. This is one time I am not totally against this idea. Can you just imagine? It’d be like the O.K. Corral, with bullets zinging across the room as people yell “Yippie-ti-yi-die!” while galloping around in their suits and ties. Seriously, I wouldn’t want anyone hurt, but it would test whether Republicans are as crazy about guns if said guns are shot near them in an enclosed space by other Republicans.
So much excitement to come! Try to survive. And if you can’t find a gun, be nice to birds.