Tag Archives: I made it all by myself

The Fruitcake Award

Since so many people have given me awards, I decided to return the favor and come up with my own.  Yup, I made it ALL BY MYSELF.  I thought on this one long and hard, folks.  And then, an idea came to me, like the ghost of Christmas past.  Fruitcake.

Look, Ma, I made it myself!

I made rules and everything, but they’re really easy, guyz.  Here’s how it works.

1. Thank the person (it’s the thought, not the hardened fruit, that counts).

2. Forget about it for a while.

3. Realize you haven’t written a thank you post, you cretin.  Click: Add New Post.

4.  Display the charming image on your blog. Smack it up there like you’re proud of it and everything.  Don’t hurt grandma’s feelings!

5. Link back to the person who sent it.  If you can’t remember, just link back to anybody.  Chances are they won’t remember whether they gave you something or not.

6. Chose ONE lucky, lucky reader to receive this special gift of joyness.  Cause what the heck are you going to do with it?

7. See what bizarre things you can get them to do.  Here are some suggestions.  Tell them to: blog naked, talk to their split personality, converse with imaginary animals, name themselves after a fruit, read 50 Shades (that’s just cruel), sparkle, hunt zombies, stand on their heads, join a religious order, eat a spambot, or even better, all of the above.  At once.  Pics or it didn’t happen.

8. Stalk their blog and see if they do all the stuff you asked.  If they don’t, tell them how hurt you are that they don’t like their gift and ask why they no longer love you.

9. See who they choose to send your gift on to.

10. Wait for it to eventually return back to you.  It’s fruitcake.  That’s what it does.

So that’s it!  Now, for the first winner of the great Fruitcake Award!  Miss Four Eyes, chosen because she is my bestest blog friend in the universe (I LOVE YOU FOREVERS) and not because her name came up first when I was thinking of who to dump this on give this precious gift.  Congrats!