Tag Archives: internet addiction

The Facebook Experiment

In case you didn’t know, Sad Pony and Squirrel are now on Facebook.  I thought I would let you know what’s going on with them, Facebook wise.  So here’s some shots I took of the page.  I have deleted any real names to protect the guilty.  Here we go – Sad Pony’s profile page.  Click on the pictures to enlarge.

Yes, he really does have a facebook page.  What?  I can't keep an eye on them all the time.

Yes, he really does have a facebook page. What? I can’t keep an eye on them all the time.

Next up is Squirrel.  I think he’s going to be the one hardest to keep in line here.  Get ready for the parental controls.

Sure he LOOKS innocent.

Sure he LOOKS innocent.

A few of you  have played along and friended the two.  They are especially excited about finally finding Miss Four Eyes.  Check out some of Squirrel’s recent posts.

Shouldn't have let him have that Latte . . .

Shouldn’t have let him have that Latte . . .

Squirrel has also been taking pictures of himself and uploading them to the site.  I’d better watch out or pretty soon he’ll be on Instagram, posting pics of his nuts.

I don't think the Tai Chi is working out . . .

I don’t think the Tai Chi is working out . . .

No longer desperately seeking Miss Four Eyes

No longer desperately seeking Miss Four Eyes

Of course the two interact together as well, which can get complicated since they have to share the one computer.  Sad Pony has that awkward hoof problem and Squirrel – well, I think you know his issues.  Anyway, here’s a little correspondence between the two.  Note that Sad Pony is a fan of Snoop Dogg and that there really is a band called Tired Pony. (Click to enlarge)

I predict flame wars in the future . . .

I predict flame wars in the future . . .

Deep down Sad Pony loves Squirrel.  Deeeeep down.

Deep down Sad Pony loves Squirrel. Deeeeep down.

Oh and HEY what’s this?  I’m going to have to watch what these two are posting up there.  Not nice, Sad Pony.  I am not evil.  Well, not always.

I get no respect.

I get no respect.

How long will this experiment last?  How long is my attention span?  I have a feeling they’re going to be retiring soon.  I’m feeling some of the same creepiness I felt before.  Like all the friend recommendations.  Yes, even a squirrel and a pony get friend recommendations.  One was for Jethro Gibbs of NCIS – the fictional character, not the actor who plays him on TV.  How ironically perfect.  The others are people I have never heard of, and I kind of doubt they’d want a depressed pony friending them.   I’ve considered randomly trying to friend as many people as possible just to see who would take the bait.  But I don’t know.  Right now Sad Pony is giving me trouble about it.  He’s SUCH a killjoy.

I’ve considered getting another Alice Facebook page.  I had one, ages ago, lost interest and deleted the account in one of those rare acts of “I am not addicted to the Internetz!”  I probably won’t, but I’d be more likely to have one for Alice than another personal one.  I’m not comfortable with that much real info about me out there. I like to pretend there is still privacy.

So what do you guys think?  Do you have a real Facebook page or a page for your blog or both?  What do you think of privacy?  What do you think of animals on the Internet?  I think there are more out there than we realize.  Should Sad Pony and Squirrel keep their accounts even though they aren’t technically old enough – at least in human years?  Anyway, let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

Alice Goes On Vacation

Never fear, reader, I will not be gone for long.  I’m thinking a weekend.  And I’m not going anywhere.  I just had this crazy idea that maybe I should, you know, maybe not sit in front of the computer 24 hours a day every day.  Probably two days away is my limit.  If I can handle that.  Of course I can handle that.  It’s not as if I have some sort of a problem or anything.

I am not. I can quit anytime. SHUT UP.

Anyhoo, I will be back fresh Monday morning with – TA-DA – the answer to your prayers or nightmares, whichever, the new recaps of 5o Shades Episode III: Return of the Jerkoffs.  It’s going to be full of exciting shit, people, because I’m sending James back to school and grading her chapters like papers (I have English teacher experience here) and this is just a guess, but I’m thinking she’s not going to do so well.  But that’s not all!  There will also be a contest and quizzes too!  I bet you just had tiny orgasms didn’t you?  Just me?  Eh.

You are SO going down, E.L.

I also hope to get back to the weekly horoscope readings next Friday, because I know you have all been bereft without the benefit of my psychic abilities.  How else are you going to figure out you totally screwed up last week without my help?  You’re welcome. 

Miss me?

But wait, there’s MORE.  I’ll also have other idiot posts, like one with all the interesting and not at all disturbing search words people used to find my blog.  And, and, it’s just going to be so great you’re going to wet yourselves in anticipation. 

So I bid you adieu (see, I am totally Le French) until Monday.  Provided they have not put me in a straightjacket. 

Love and kisses and crap,


And that is why I get nothing done.

My family went away last weekend.  They left Saturday morning.  I was hoping to use this time to write on my book.  Here is what I had gotten done by Saturday evening.

  1. I woke up at around 8:00 and ate breakfast and said bye to family and sat at the computer and did facebook and checked my wordpress and responded to some comments and obsessively stared at my stats.  Also I emailed.
  2. I went back to bed.  Woke up again at about 11:30.  I ate leftover pizza.  I messed around on the Internet a bit more.  I searched Google Images, which is scary, in order to find pictures to represent my interviews of fictional people, which was better than the night before when I spent about half an hour trying to find the sexiest picture of Commander Riker from Star Trek.  I went back to bed.
  3. I woke up again about 3:30.  I got on the Internet. 

No I’m not.

You may be seeing a pattern here.  I have a problem with the Internet.  I’m not sure, though, that I have an actual Internet addiction.  You see, I took a quiz – on the Internet – a while back and it said probably I had a problem, because I took the quiz in the first place, but really, I think the problem is something else.  I call it insomnia + medication + lazy.  Also, we recently bought a new bed.

Not this one. I just think it’s awesome.

For thirteen years, my husband and I had been sleeping on a bed that was handed down to us by someone who had slept on it for at least thirteen years as well meaning the dust mite population was probably up to 5 billion by that point.  Also, it was rather uncomfortable.  This mattress was made when manufacturers thought it would be the height of comfort to put buttons all over the top.  My husband started sleeping on the couch and bringing cushions and blankets and leaving them on the couch all day which kind of annoyed me because that is not the Better Homes and Gardens look and I’m pretty sure Martha Stewart hates me.

So we decided to buy a new mattress with our tax return money.  We didn’t realize, though, how much they charge for mattresses.  They apparently are made from gold thread spun by Rumplestiltskin.  So we went to a few stores and we laid on this bed, and then that bed, and then another bed.  One bed was too hard, and one was too soft, and one was just right but cost a million dollars.  Finally, we tried a mattress at one store that had one of those padding things added to the top and it was gushy but there was this problem that we were too close together.  I couldn’t believe this was a queen mattress.  I informed the mattress store people that we’d been married over ten years and really didn’t want to be that close to each other anymore.  They thought it was funny, and then they realized I wasn’t actually kidding.  I don’t like touching people when I sleep.  I like a no touch zone during sleepy times. And I’ve touched hubby a lot by now so that’s kind of old hat.

Too hard, too soft, too freaking expensive.
Also they all have bears in them.

So we went with the king mattress.  It’s huge and fills up a large part of our bedroom.  The kids loved it and so I had to buy them a real trampoline.  They still use it.  But so do my husband and me.  I can’t even tell my husband’s in it with me.  We call to each other from either side of the mattress.  And it is major comfy – maybe a little too comfy.  Because I like to sleep on it.  A whole bunch.

So I got a new mattress.  And I have a computer.  And that is why I get nothing done.