Breaking News in the Olaf case
You might have thought (or hoped) that we’d forgotten about Olaf (a snowman from the Disney movie Frozen) and all the wackos who have shown up to claim Elsa’s throne, seeing as how none of them are (supposedly) real at all and we are (in theory) way too big to be playing with this stuff. Except maybe Thing Two, she’s eleven. When does the statute of limitations run out on doll playing? No matter.
Queen Elsa decided on the best course of action in this dire situation. Ask her friends on Facebook.
Hans took to his Facebook page to express his opinions.
Plenty of squabbling, but no results. Just like Congress! The Things and I made a search and found this in Thing Two’s room.
And later this image popped up on Anna’s Facebook page.
Along with this status.
Some more investigation finally turned up our wayward snowman.
A little more investigation, though . . .
Anna posted one more status.
So ends our Olaf caper for those of you who were on the edge of your seats there. Wouldn’t it be great if someone could get a shot of, I don’t know, one of our politicians advocating crazy criminal activity? And if that were to make this politician sink in the polls instead of get more popular? Wouldn’t it???
I’m gonna go play with my toys.
Snowman Violence and Disney Politics
The search for the fugitive Snowman Olaf continues. He was spotted briefly in this recliner before making his escape.
Unfortunately the snowman crime wave has led to Disney politicians tweeting.
And more tweeting
And . . . more tweeting.
Prince Hans also took this opportunity to put up the first of sure to be many campaign posters.
And just in time for Christmas. This is going to be a very long year.
Update: Suspect Olaf Found!
We found him trying to scale the wall – or, um cabinet.
This actually happened after Olaf was found the first time. Thing Two found him squashed in a corner of the entertainment center. She swears she didn’t put him there. But neither did Thing One, Mr. Alice, or me. So either one of us is lying, or Olaf really did make it from the freezer to the entertainment center a few feet away BY HIMSELF.
I’m not going to think about this further.
After this incident, my husband decided he wanted to help hide Olaf as well. That’s how he ended up so high up. We think. But one of the Things spotted him anyway, before he could make his grand escape over the cabinet door – which left him squashed as that was not, in fact, an exit point. Olaf may be a bit psycho, but he’s not all that bright.
Speaking of psychos, Prince Hans has still decided to carry out his
presidential ruler campaign, certain he can unseat the reigning ruler of Arendelle, Elsa, who is rather unstable herself. But he’s not the only one. There’s more. The Mad Hatter was feeling bored, and figured this was a perfect time to run because why not? Then we got more Republican candidates: Ursula (they’ve got to have one crazy woman), Jafar (Former crooked Vizier to Jasmine’s Dad), that freaky Voodoo guy from the Princess and the Frog who is possibly Satan, the pug from the movie Pocahontas, etc. Speaking of Pocahontas, she is currently running for the Green Party, because someone must stand up for the rocks, and trees, the creatures and the wind. Aladdin is running on the Democratic ticket and stands a good chance because he grew up poor, is really cute, and lies a lot.
This reminds me of something, but I’m not sure what.
One of you might have remembered that some of these guys were taking part in the Hunger Games earlier. Well, it got cancelled, which is a good thing for everyone but Snow White, who remains headless.
If you have any suggestions for write-in candidates, do let us know. And we’ll continue to hide Olaf, for he – has already escaped again. They never did repair that cell Elsa busted open earlier. Oops.
Olaf is Missing!
Bad news. We think. The Things and I have managed to lose Olaf. He’s not in the freezer anymore, so we’re not sure what happened. Thus no picture of “Hug Me” Olaf today. Instead we have a report in from Arendelle.
Arendelle. There is a crazed snowman on the loose. He has already attacked two people, killing one blue-haired girl and injuring a prince. It is known he can withstand extreme cold and hot butter, and is currently armed with a bendy plastic sword. Residents are advised to not open a door and just let their work go. The Arendelle police have issued an APB out for his arrest.
Queen Elsa is currently being questioned about any knowledge of his whereabouts, as she was the one who gave him life, which kind of makes her his mom. Or his god. Anyway, coming so soon after the whole freezing the entire kingdom incident, this is indeed unfortunate for her future political career. Arendelle citizens are concerned that Princess Anna might have to take the throne, and her complete lack of experience in – pretty much anything but being adorkable – could be a problem.
Olaf’s second victim, Prince Hans of the Seven Isles, is recovering at a nearby hospital and has announced plans to run as the first Republican candidate in Arendelle. He’s not a native born citizen, and he’s evil, but it is believed he has a strong chance. His solution to the rise in crime is to arm everyone with frying pans, as this seemed to work well in the neighboring kingdom of Corona, ruled by the parents of Princess Rapunzel. Rapunzel had no comment on the situation.
Kristoff, boyfriend of Princess Anna, is leading a search party along with his reindeer partner, Sven. According to Kristoff, Sven thinks that the media has blown this out of proportion and that Olaf is just off his snowflake meds. He dismissed the idea that Olaf might enlist an entire army of snowgies, created from the snot of Queen Elsa, to help him in his mad killing spree.
Princess Anna expresses remorse at asking Queen Elsa repeatedly to build a snowman.
Anybody with information please alert Alice at her blog as she claims to know these people personally.
On the Third Day of Christmas Olaf gave to us
A bag of frozen sausage – made out of teddy bear brains!
See my nitrates? I think we’re gonna have to start getting more creative. I feel like my audience is dying off.
Wait, did Olaf get to you, too? Or was it the political candidates? Did they have the election yet? I don’t even know anymore. I am hiding in the freezer – when Olaf leaves.
On the Second Day of Christmas Olaf gave to us
A second murder victim! But this one deserves it so it’s cooool!
Thing One decided to hide Olaf on the bed of Thing Two. Hans never stood a chance against the giant snowman.
We did not want to hug him. Just look at that . . . that stare.
Points to anyone who can name the other items in Thing Two’s room. They may be next on his hit list, so this is important!
While I was putting this post together, the Things broke into holiday song, recalling a popular tune from their elementary school days. It involves Barnie, murder, and toilets.
Joy to the World
That Barnie’s Dead
I barbecued his head!
Don’t worry about the body
I flushed it down the potty
And round and round it goes
And round and round it goes
And rooooooound and round and round it goes!
FYI: I recall Thing One singing this in church when she was like seven. We got a few looks. I think that was the same visit when Thing Two changed Moses into Poseidon on her coloring sheet.
Three Posts in One Blow
I had a lot planned, but just when I thought I was better, I was sick again and stressed and bummed and just in time for the holiday! The one with the turkey, not Black Friday. So I figured I would throw together a few posts because starting tomorrow is gonna be the FUN countdown to Xmas! Happy Holidays, Fox!
“Thing One: The Musical”
Thing One was in the musical “Crazy for You”. She had a small role yet was the star because Thing One. We enjoyed playing “Where’s Waldo” with her each time they changed scenery. “Where is she?” I’d ask my parents. “Oh, THERE she is, in the corner.” And while she may not have had but one line “Thank you, Mr. Zangler.” she was always animated, unlike some of the other kids who learned to nap with eyes open.
The fairly new musical was built around a bunch of old songs because – because. Quick rundown of the plot. Guy’s rich mom wants him to be a banker, but he wants to sing and dance and wear shiny pants. Zangler is there with his Folly Girls (Thing One was one of them and wore this awesome slinky dress and make up and her hair done up so beautifully, aw) and he tells Shiny he’s a moron. (I liked that part) So Shiny goes to the Old West (or Nevada, whatever) and he meets this cowgirl and they are sort of in love but bad news their theater is going under, but Shiny has a way to save it – put on a musical! He pretends to be Zangler, and gets a LOT of girls to come down to do the show. For some reason, it doesn’t occur to him that there are only 13 people in the town, so this idea is probably not going to work.
Cowgirl falls in love with Zangler, not realizing that duh it’s Shiny. Then dancing girls showed up who I thought were just doing random numbers but no, they were supposed to be his delusions. They came out a LOT, so prayers for Shiny. Thing One was this lady with a suitcase, or sitting or standing off to the side, looking awesome. Since I was just a few days out of surgery, I began feeling very sore midway through. So that’s when they really brought out the songs. I mean there was a song for everyone and for everything, even stuff that wasn’t happening. But the songs finally ended, and the musical. Thing One had a wonderful time, and went back to one of her favorite activities: sleep.
I watched a show on the history channel that was, shock, about history, the history of Thanksgiving. Did you know that we made a lot of that up? Shock! Like they found a letter from one Pilgrim who said yeah some Indians did help with the planting. The Pilgrims showed gratitude by shooting off their guns in an attempt to scare off the Indians. The Indians sent out a big scout party to check this crap out, right when the Pilgrims decided to have a big meal after reaping this awesome harvest all by themselves! Well, the Indians see this, and decide to invite themselves, seeing as how there were twice as many of them as there were Pilgrims.
Guess who’s coming to dinner?
I would have loved to see the looks on the Pilgrims’ faces when they showed up. But anyway, the Things took some pictures of “A Pocahontas Thanksgiving”, which makes as much sense as the other made up version.
“25 days of Olaf”
Get ready, folks. Since I was little too disturbed by Mr. Elf on the Shelf and his network of spies, I bought the Frozen version. You’re supposed to hide Olaf the stuffed snowman in a new place every day. The Things and I have already thought of many, many places to stick that snowman. We’re planning to take a new pic each day for you guyz. Also to scare the crap out of each other with the places and situations we put the snowman in. Stay tuned!