Olaf is Missing!
Bad news. We think. The Things and I have managed to lose Olaf. He’s not in the freezer anymore, so we’re not sure what happened. Thus no picture of “Hug Me” Olaf today. Instead we have a report in from Arendelle.
Breaking News
Arendelle. There is a crazed snowman on the loose. He has already attacked two people, killing one blue-haired girl and injuring a prince. It is known he can withstand extreme cold and hot butter, and is currently armed with a bendy plastic sword. Residents are advised to not open a door and just let their work go. The Arendelle police have issued an APB out for his arrest.
Olaf was last seen in a freezer.
Queen Elsa is currently being questioned about any knowledge of his whereabouts, as she was the one who gave him life, which kind of makes her his mom. Or his god. Anyway, coming so soon after the whole freezing the entire kingdom incident, this is indeed unfortunate for her future political career. Arendelle citizens are concerned that Princess Anna might have to take the throne, and her complete lack of experience in – pretty much anything but being adorkable – could be a problem.
Queen Elsa of Arendelle
Olaf’s second victim, Prince Hans of the Seven Isles, is recovering at a nearby hospital and has announced plans to run as the first Republican candidate in Arendelle. He’s not a native born citizen, and he’s evil, but it is believed he has a strong chance. His solution to the rise in crime is to arm everyone with frying pans, as this seemed to work well in the neighboring kingdom of Corona, ruled by the parents of Princess Rapunzel. Rapunzel had no comment on the situation.
Prince Hans. Future political candidate?
Kristoff, boyfriend of Princess Anna, is leading a search party along with his reindeer partner, Sven. According to Kristoff, Sven thinks that the media has blown this out of proportion and that Olaf is just off his snowflake meds. He dismissed the idea that Olaf might enlist an entire army of snowgies, created from the snot of Queen Elsa, to help him in his mad killing spree.
Princess Anna expresses remorse at asking Queen Elsa repeatedly to build a snowman.
Anybody with information please alert Alice at her blog as she claims to know these people personally.
Arendelle News
On the Second Day of Christmas Olaf gave to us
A second murder victim! But this one deserves it so it’s cooool!
Olaf is using the “He needed killin’ excuse.”
Thing One decided to hide Olaf on the bed of Thing Two. Hans never stood a chance against the giant snowman.
We did not want to hug him. Just look at that . . . that stare.
Points to anyone who can name the other items in Thing Two’s room. They may be next on his hit list, so this is important!
Alice
While I was putting this post together, the Things broke into holiday song, recalling a popular tune from their elementary school days. It involves Barnie, murder, and toilets.
Joy to the World
That Barnie’s Dead
I barbecued his head!
Don’t worry about the body
I flushed it down the potty
And round and round it goes
And round and round it goes
And rooooooound and round and round it goes!
FYI: I recall Thing One singing this in church when she was like seven. We got a few looks. I think that was the same visit when Thing Two changed Moses into Poseidon on her coloring sheet.
Three Posts in One Blow
I had a lot planned, but just when I thought I was better, I was sick again and stressed and bummed and just in time for the holiday! The one with the turkey, not Black Friday. So I figured I would throw together a few posts because starting tomorrow is gonna be the FUN countdown to Xmas! Happy Holidays, Fox!
“Thing One: The Musical”
Thing One was in the musical “Crazy for You”. She had a small role yet was the star because Thing One. We enjoyed playing “Where’s Waldo” with her each time they changed scenery. “Where is she?” I’d ask my parents. “Oh, THERE she is, in the corner.” And while she may not have had but one line “Thank you, Mr. Zangler.” she was always animated, unlike some of the other kids who learned to nap with eyes open.
The fairly new musical was built around a bunch of old songs because – because. Quick rundown of the plot. Guy’s rich mom wants him to be a banker, but he wants to sing and dance and wear shiny pants. Zangler is there with his Folly Girls (Thing One was one of them and wore this awesome slinky dress and make up and her hair done up so beautifully, aw) and he tells Shiny he’s a moron. (I liked that part) So Shiny goes to the Old West (or Nevada, whatever) and he meets this cowgirl and they are sort of in love but bad news their theater is going under, but Shiny has a way to save it – put on a musical! He pretends to be Zangler, and gets a LOT of girls to come down to do the show. For some reason, it doesn’t occur to him that there are only 13 people in the town, so this idea is probably not going to work.
Thing One in Folly dress- the family resemblance is striking!
Cowgirl falls in love with Zangler, not realizing that duh it’s Shiny. Then dancing girls showed up who I thought were just doing random numbers but no, they were supposed to be his delusions. They came out a LOT, so prayers for Shiny. Thing One was this lady with a suitcase, or sitting or standing off to the side, looking awesome. Since I was just a few days out of surgery, I began feeling very sore midway through. So that’s when they really brought out the songs. I mean there was a song for everyone and for everything, even stuff that wasn’t happening. But the songs finally ended, and the musical. Thing One had a wonderful time, and went back to one of her favorite activities: sleep.
“Thanksgiving Post”
I watched a show on the history channel that was, shock, about history, the history of Thanksgiving. Did you know that we made a lot of that up? Shock! Like they found a letter from one Pilgrim who said yeah some Indians did help with the planting. The Pilgrims showed gratitude by shooting off their guns in an attempt to scare off the Indians. The Indians sent out a big scout party to check this crap out, right when the Pilgrims decided to have a big meal after reaping this awesome harvest all by themselves! Well, the Indians see this, and decide to invite themselves, seeing as how there were twice as many of them as there were Pilgrims.
Guess who’s coming to dinner?
I would have loved to see the looks on the Pilgrims’ faces when they showed up. But anyway, the Things took some pictures of “A Pocahontas Thanksgiving”, which makes as much sense as the other made up version.
Pilgrims Mel Gibson, John Rolfe, Bella Swan, and Blondie present gifts to the Indians: a life-size Manga comic, and a portable video game cartridge.
Indians Chief Powhatan, Jasmine Flower, Koko Puffs, and Pokey all love their gifts.
Chief Powhatan is totally ready to trade Pokey for the portable game cartridge.
Koko Puffs admires comic while Bella admires Koko’s . . . face. Bonjour!
Pokey and Powhatan teach Pilgrims to plant in return for gifts.
Chief: First you do push ups, then drop seeds in ground, heh.
Pilgrims and Indians eat hotdogs, salad, and peppermint – the first Thanksgiving!
“25 days of Olaf”
Get ready, folks. Since I was little too disturbed by Mr. Elf on the Shelf and his network of spies, I bought the Frozen version. You’re supposed to hide Olaf the stuffed snowman in a new place every day. The Things and I have already thought of many, many places to stick that snowman. We’re planning to take a new pic each day for you guyz. Also to scare the crap out of each other with the places and situations we put the snowman in. Stay tuned!
The Stalking Snowman!
Alice
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