Now that my depression has lifted for however long, I have lots of plans. I have more energy to do the plans. I have resolutions, like not drinking so much cola, and losing weight (because it’s healthy, not to look like I’m 20 – as Mamie said to Scarlett O’hara – “You done had a baby. You ain’t never wearing that again.” Or something to that effect; I’m not looking it up.) I also want to write more about esketamine nasal treatments, the history, and a personal account of what it’s like. Well, kind of – it’s a little hard to describe. But I couldn’t find much when I looked, so it’s better than nothing. I also wanted to clean, clean, clean cause I have a lot of that to do. So much. And Marie Kondo won’t return my calls so it’s up to me.
But then this morning I couldn’t get myself to move. It was like, I’m awake, I got motivation, but my body isn’t moving. That’s odd. Then I had this genius idea of getting those tiny coke cans that are actually 8 oz (I can’t believe that’s 8 oz cause I have gotten used to 32 oz and 8 oz is like a drink from the water fountain) and there was this sale, but you had to buy four six packs. I was okay with this because I had plans to label them so that my husband would not whine that he didn’t get some, and that I could know which ones were mine and could like wean myself off of them. I think that was the idea. So the Things and I went to the grocery store and we got this but then we also got a few other things like pizza for tonight (it’s low calorie pizza no not really shut up) and then we checked out but I didn’t get the special exactly cause it was 3 for one and not 4 for one. I think. Whatever.
So then we went to McDonald’s for fountain drinks because I don’t have much ice at home (MY first world problem) and the others weren’t cold and I haven’t started my resolution yet why are you looking at me??? Then I paid and I started to drive away without picking up my drinks until the Things pointed it out, so I went back through the drive-through but they were nice and stuff and didn’t point out my stupid. Thanks, McD’s. Anyway at some point during this I was like, huh, my chest really hurts. I mean sure I had been coughing up great gobs of green goo, but that’s not unusual (sorry for the description there), so it hadn’t occurred to me that I could be sick. Just garden variety sick – or at least my garden variety. Wow.
I’m not sure how to explain how odd it is to be relieved that you are sick. But it meant I wasn’t sad again, and that I could later lay down and that was fine. But I wanted peeps to know I wasn’t disappearing because I was sad again. I’m okay. It’s just mucus. Be back soon.
New Year’s Eve
It is New Year’s Eve, and everyone knows what happens on New Year’s Eve. People get drunk, act like morons, kiss total strangers, pass out in their own vomit before the ball drops, and call in sick to work the next day. But they also make resolutions – often broken by Valentine’s Day. I’m no different, except mine is usually broken by the evening of January 1st. Because, you see, I have the self control of your average two-year-old. Usually I start off strong, with a list of crap I’m determined to do better this coming year. As time passes, my expectations go down. For example:
I will clean the whole house!
Okay, I will clean half the house!
Well surely I will clean one room.
I will pick the gum wrapper off the floor (check)
- I will go to the grocery store and shop only for healthy natural foods for my family!
- I will go to the grocery store and buy at least a few healthy foods for my family.
- I will go to the grocery store at some point.
I will eat take out from Wendy’s. (check)
Healthy Living / Fitness
I will start an exercise program. I will work out at the gym at least three times a week. I will do my exercise videos. I will not eat sugar. I will lose 40 pounds.
I will start an exercise program. I will work out at the gym at least twice a month. I will find my exercise videos. I will cut out cake. I will lose 20 pounds.
I will write out an exercise program to start later. I will show up at the gym occasionally to justify my membership fees. I will cut out cake with coconut (that I don’t like). I will lose and gain between one and five pounds.
I will do nothing and then feel guilty and scrape the coconut off the cake and eat it. (check)
I will cut out Internet and computer entirely except when necessary for work.
I will cut my Internet and computer use to a few hours a week with the exception of projects directly related to work.
I will cut my Internet use to a couple of hours a day outside of work. Work computer usage will consist of 8 hours a day, roughly 1 hour of which is actual concentrated work related tasks.
I will occasionally leave the computer for food, bathroom, and sleep. (check)
- I will draw up a budget and stick to it. I will put aside 500 dollars a month for savings. I will stop buying immature things like video games and buy adult stuff like furniture and groceries and cooking utensils and washing machines that don’t stop mid-cycle.
- I will draw up a budget. I will continue to put 300 dollars a month in savings, but this time won’t immediately transfer it back into my flailing checking account. I won’t buy quite so many video games, except the fitness ones. (see “fitness” list)
- I won’t keep a budget, but I will occasionally hold my breath and peek at my online account, then celebrate being in the black by buying several new video games, some of which are somewhat related to fitness. (example: Mario sure runs a lot.)
- I will not declare bankruptcy. (check)
- In 2012 I will sleep.
- In 2012 I will eat.
- In 2012 I will drink
- In 2012 I will go potty.
- In 2012 I will inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide.
- In 2012 I will post all of these accomplishments on facebook.
|Also remember to eat lots of fiber|
You see? You’re probably doing some of these things RIGHT NOW. (I’m hoping it is not the potty one.) That’s not so hard. In fact, all you really have to do is stay alive. That could be tricky, so you’d better never leave your house. Then you’re safe. Unless your house burns down, or a tornado hits it, or you fall and can’t get up and there is no one to come rescue you. Oh, hey, I almost forgot.