Tag Archives: Seinfeld


Best. Babysitter. Ever.

Most parents are exposed to a whole new world they never would have stepped into or even known about had it not been for those little bundles of joy.  For one thing, few people watch children’s programming unless they are parents, or possibly young adult males, for some reason.  I would say the majority of parents have plopped junior in front of the T.V. for a least a few minutes, even if it was only to chisel bits of teething biscuit off the highchair.  However, if you are one of those parents that insist that neither you nor your child were ever exposed to the evil television, I believe you are either:

A. a liar
B. dumb
C. both
                Now that we have those people out of the way, we can move on with the real people.   While many parents have used children’s programming to distract children so that they can finish housework or other chores, there are those who often just sat in front of the T.V. with the kids.  I was one of those parents.  I did it because there is research showing that it’s healthy for parents to watch shows with their kids, and most certainly NOT because I was too tired / lazy to wash the dishes.
                Because I have so much experience with kids’ shows, and because my brain adamantly refuses to forget any of it, even though it frequently forgets the location of my glasses, I thought I might give some summaries for those of you who somehow missed all the fun.  These shows are on a variety of networks but if you were poor when your kids were very young, like I was, a lot of them came from PBS. (Peasant Broadcasting Station). 
                So here is number one (more to come!):
This is a show about four friends who live in their own little world and spout nonsense to each other.  Basically, Seinfeld for children, only the actors wear chubby costumes with TVs on their bellies and antennae on their head.  Which makes them more useful than anybody on Seinfeld, cause who wouldn’t want a T.V. on their stomach?  Talk about the ultimate in convenient travel entertainment.  Except you would probably get a crick in your neck from watching your own belly.  I suppose you could watch your neighbor’s belly, but then you’d want to change channels, and that might be getting too close for comfort.

Vacuums make the best pets.

But back to the show.  The four aliens – or whatever these things are – are Dipsy, Laa Laa, Tinky-Winky, and Po.  Dipsy (that’s dipsy, not tipsy, she’s not drunk -probably) is green and has an antennae that points straight up.  Tinky Winky is purple and has an upside down triangle antennae (more on that later), Po is red and has a circle antennae, and Laa Laa is yellow and . . . confused apparently, because there’s no way she’s getting reception with that thing on her head. 

They live in an almost psychedelic environment, with bright green grass and freaking huge rabbits hopping around.  Their only diet seems to come from Tubby Custard and Tubby Toast, which has to give them major digestive troubles.  But that’s okay, because they have a living vacuum cleaner for a pet (now THAT’S the kind of pet I want) named “the Noo-Noo”. 

Now with demon voices!

About the only intelligible words they say are “Hello, Bye-bye, eh-oh, and Naughty Noo-Noo”.  This, of course, didn’t stop people from freaking out that the toys were saying bad words.  And that wasn’t the only controversy.  There were also rumors that Tinky-Winky was gay, due to being purple (gay pride color) and having the triangle (gay pride symbol) on his head.  He didn’t help speculation by carrying a purse and wearing a tutu (not that there is anything wrong with that).  Luckily, it was Jerry Falwell, right wing religious nut job, making the accusations so most people just ignored him, and Tinky-Winky avoided the paparazzi. 

This was one of my favorite kid shows, for while it was undeniably bizarre and

It’s not a purse. It’s a bag.
A bag!!!

repetitive (take a drink every time they say “bye-bye”) it was low on the didactic vomit meter.  You couldn’t understand a word these guys were saying, which was fine with me.  Some thought there wasn’t enough educational value, but I will tell you that my kid could say “eh oh” better than anyone else on the block, so there.

            Final Analysis:
                                                       Eye-pop out color:  yes
                                                        Huge Rabbits: yes
                                                        General Weirdness: yes
                                                        Didacticism: no