Tag Archives: Seuss

50 Shades of Seuss

List of X wrote a post about what books might be housed in the George W. Bush library, so in the comments, naturally, our conversation turned to Dr. Seuss and 50 Shades of Grey.  He then (this is his fault, remember) suggested that I try to put 50 Shades of Grey to one of Dr. Seuss’s (Can you believe he didn’t know Dr. Seuss before me?  The SHAME.) classic rhyming tales for children.  Of course I couldn’t pass that up.  So here it is, guyz, yup, here it is.

Buttplugs and Jam

(to Green Eggs and Ham)

I'm so sorry, Dr. Seuss.

I’m so sorry, Dr. Seuss.

That Christian

That Ana

They will do it



They will do it on a boat

They will do it with a goat

They will do it on a plane

They will do in the rain


They will do it with buttplugs

They will do it while on drugs

They will do it with ice cream

They will do it in your dreams


They will do it with a fox

They will do it in a box

They will do it using balls

They will do it on the wall


They will do it upside down

They will do it round and round

They will do it on a pony

They’ll do it with macaroni


Yes with whips

And with chips

On a cross

Or with Kate Moss

With fingers, with floggers, with candlestick knobbers

They will do it here and there

They will do it everywhere.

I’ll stop here.  But there are so many more you could do.  Here’s a quick list of some of Seuss’s titles.  See what you can do.  I’m sure you could do even more horrible things to these poor books!

I can only imagine.

I can only imagine.

Hop on Pop


The Butter Battle Book


Hunches in Bunches

(oh boy)

Gerald McBoing Boing

(writes itself)

Horton Hears a Who

(oh God)

There’s a Wocket in my Pocket


I Can Lick Thirty Tigers Today and Other Stories

(For all that is holy . . .)

No, I wasn't kidding.

No, I wasn’t kidding.

For more ideas, see here.  If you want to play, leave your submissions in the comments or shoot me an email.  I’ll print the winner in the next post!  Saying WordPress still lets me have a blog after this!