Tag Archives: Sim

Ways to Skin a Sim 2: Taking the Ladder

That’s right, folks, Boppo is baaaack!  Sorry I left him floating around aimlessly in Sim land there for a while.  I figured he needed some time to cool off, what with me setting him on fire in the last post.  So what’s in store for Boppo today?  Let’s see.  Oh, and if in case you missed the last post LINK DROP!

Let’s take a peek and see what’s going on with our little clown friend. (click to enlarge)

Why it looks like someone has dropped off a baby for Boppo!  Wait . . . what?

Why it looks like someone has dropped off a baby for Boppo! Wait . . . what?

Obviously social services is a little touched, but don’t worry, they’ll rescue baby from whatever unfortunate accidents might befall poor Boppo.  Not that this would happen, of course.  Boppo quickly gets to know baby.

Everyone's favorite sport: baby tossing.

Everyone’s favorite sport: baby tossing.

I see people do this with their kids a lot, and they aren’t even clowns.  Some of them really get those kids airborne.  I can just see their tiny brains rattling around in their skulls.  Baby is bound to get a bit nauseous too.

Baby pukes on Boppo.  Aw, poor Boppo.

Baby pukes on Boppo. Aw, poor Boppo.

Now I was tempted to just leave the toddler with him until he went insane but maybe I’ll put him out of his misery earlier.  Let’s see, last time was fire, this time – how about water?  Drown the clown!

I like how Boppo wears his face paint in the water.

I like how Boppo wears his face paint in the water.

Here’s Boppo getting ready to jump in the pool.  For some strange reason, Sims cannot just climb out of the pool on their own.  There must be a ladder.  It’s become such a common way to rub out a Sim that when they created Sims 2, the creators made a family who had lost the father in a freak pool ladder accident.  Anyhoo, take note of that ladder in the corner, cause it’s gonna disappear.

Oh, ohs!  Oh, hey, what happened here?

WTF?  It's random dude!

WTF? It’s random dude!

I forgot that one of the many expansion packs has people show up randomly when a Sim gets interested in some hobby.  Like, say, if the Sim is gardening, some garden Sim will show up.  Well, Boppo has gotten really interested in fitness (since he has to keep swimming to keep alive) so this guy just appeared and dropped right into the pool . . . and into my deadly trap.  Oh oh, spaghettios!

So now we have both Boppo and random dude (as Thing One named him) swimming around in circles.  I sped it up cause I’m a busy gal and he has a lot more ways to die.  At one point, his bladder went down so low he peed in the pool.  You can see bubbles come up – seriously!  I bet random guy was thrilled to swim in Boppo’s pee.

But there’s only so long Boppo can keep treadin’ water.

To add insult to injury, Boppo's head sticks into the pool wall.

To add insult to injury, Boppo’s head sticks into the pool wall.

Anddd death has to come again.

Boppo meets death . . . again.

Didn’t I just come here?

Notice that the dog, some random girl that showed up, and random dude just ignore the whole thing.  But don’t worry for them.  Social services came for the baby – they have this awesome way of beaming babies out of trouble – and animal control came for the poodle, Wee Wee, and the hamster of death.   So all’s well that ends well – except for Boppo of course.

At least until I bring him back to life.  Again.  And kill him.  Again.  Stay tuned for Boppo’s next torture on the menu: The Box.

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How many ways to skin a Sim?

As promised, here is my post on The Sims.  This has been one of my favorite games for a while.  It’s been through 3 different transformations, all of them grossing millions.  It’s like people like playing God or something.  Go figure.

Sims 2 is my favorite.  I am not always cruel to my Sims.  Sometimes I let them have cute families.  If you want to talk about pixels having a mind of their own, these guys really do – or seem to anyway.  As long as you leave their free will on (Yeah, you can take that away too.  Or, uh, so I hear.) they will do all sorts of funny things all on their own.  They will hug, kiss, babies will try to eat their toys, and children will run and greet adults when they get home from work.  And everyone goes to work in a carpool.  Even the thieves.

But since I’m tying this post into the last one, where I talk about killing those cute Virtual Families, this post will address torturing Sims.  Since it might be hard to torture someone who looks so lifelike, I decided to create something most people wouldn’t mind kicking around.  That’s right, a clown.  I call him Boppo Sadface.

Meet Boppo

Meet Boppo

When you create a Sim, you can not only decide what they look like and how to dress them (in this case, horribly) you can also decide their personality.  You can either randomly select one of the astrological signs, or you can add the points yourself.  And you can choose an aspiration for your Sim.  Like whether he wants money, or family, or romance.  You’ll notice I gave Boppo no nice points, yet made him want lots of friends.  He’s also a very sloppy Sim, as evidenced by his lack of points in that area, and the fact that he is digging something out of his ear right now.  He did that all on his own.

Next up, Boppo needs company.  I figured no humans would volunteer to be with him, but why not a dog?  And what dog is undeniably annoying?  A poodle of course.  Boppo has a dog named Wee Wee (cause that’s what pet dogs do best).  You can give the pets personalities too.  Wee Wee is aggressive, sloppy, and dumb as a post.

Now that we’ve got those two taken care of, it’s time to find Boppo a home!  I tried to make it appropriate.

Do not attempt to adjust your screen - that's what it really looks like.

Do not attempt to adjust your screen – that’s what it really looks like.

Yes, his house looks like a psychedelic nightmare, complete with lawn gnomes, flamingos, ceramic (at least I think they are) rabbit heads, kitten heads, bears, and chickens filling his front lawn.  I circled a few things to bring them to your attention.  First off, see that thing to the left circled in pink?  That’s a supposed “marshmallow roaster”, yet is much closer to a circular flame thrower.  You might guess where I’m going with this one.

The green circle to the far right is the stupid, violent poodle Wee Wee.  In the middle is a yellow circle around the hamster cage.  One of my readers informed me that her Sim died from the bite of one of these squeaky critters.  So I had to buy one for Boppo.  His name is Help Meeee.  Ironically, both the hamster and the clown are on my little wheel of death.  Bwahahahahahaha . . . moving on.

Death one:  Clown on fire!

For this one, you can use any old stove or fireplace, but for ultimate efficiency, I prefer the marshmallow roaster.   Just move it into his room, remove the door, and watch the show.  Make sure there’s no fire alarm to call the fire fighters or something crazy like that.  Observe:

Never smoke in bed, guys.

Never smoke in bed, guys.

In case you were wondering, yeah that’s a rack of bowling balls on fire in the corner of his room.  It’s only a matter of time now.  Don’t worry, I had Wee Wee leave the room.  I’m not cruel or nothin’.

When your butt lights up, you're in trouble.

When your butt lights up, you’re in trouble.

It’s horrible, and yet fascinating to watch them.  First they totally panic and race around in circles.  No thought to say, grabbing a fire extinguisher or calling fire fighters.  When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.  At least until your butt catches on fire.  You’re in trouble then.  Best defense?  No stop, drop, and roll here.  Just bounce up and down while attempting to blow out the flames from your clothes.

Strangely this method does not work well for them.  Soon enough, the Grim Reaper arrives, and this is one of the funniest parts.  You can tell he’s freaking annoyed by his job, just like the rest of us.  He shakes his head, pulls out some paperwork, makes a call to the underworld on his cell phone . . . no seriously.

Eh, what can you do?  Another one comin' up, boss.

Eh, what can you do? Another one comin’ up, boss.

So this post ended up longer than I intended, and I’ve got lots of ways to kill Sims left to go!  There’s death by electrocution (Sim + electrical appliance + fork), death by drowning, death by starvation, death by hamster bite and death by flies (I have never achieved either so these are now my goals in life), and so much more.  Don’t worry for him – I have him saved, so I can bring him back to life again and again.  And then kill him again.  If I want.

Shall I mess with Boppo some more?  Do you have any Sim stories of your own to tell?  Do you want to recommend a mental health hotline for me?  Let me know in the comments below!