I have learned a lot posing as a squirrel on Facebook.  Yes, I’m still there.  Or rather, Squirrel is still there.  Possessed by a sugar rush, one day Squirrel went around “friending” all sorts of weird stuff.  Like the company that makes Spam.  So we get posts from them.  Lots of posts.  It’s far out.  One thing I can say – these people are really passionate about their work.  They even made a museum for Spam.

No I’m not kidding.  Even worse, they have a mascot.  I can prove it. (Click to Enlarge Pictures)

the horror . . . the horror

I just have to ask – why?  Why do we need a Spam museum?  What could they possibly have there?  Please say they do not have historical pieces of Spam on display.  That could get pretty nasty.  Maybe there’s towers of spam containers.  It’d be like shopping at Costco, except the only product would be . . . Spam.  Sounds exciting, doesn’t it?  Or even . . . mouthwatering?

I totally have to go to Minnesota now, you guyz.

But wait, there’s more.  On World Photography Day (yeah that’s a thing too) Spam asked people to share pictures of their Spam.

Aw, look, a Spam!

Sooo like people take pictures of their Spam?  Do they pose the Spam certain ways?  Do they keep photo albums filled with only Spam photos?  If you have dumped out the photos of your children and replaced them with photos of Spam, you might have a problem.  Seek help immediately.

Would you like to show everybody you are a freaked out maniac Spam enthusiast?  Do you have no fashion sense?  Well, Spam has just the thing for you!  Check it out.  Spam Hats.

I can see so many uses for this.

To keep things hip and interesting, Spam offers contests to win – you guessed it -more Spam and Spam products!  In this one, you just had to email your favorite Spam memory to the folks at Spam Central or wherever for a chance to win this lovely gift basket o’ Spam.  You’ll notice Squirrel offered up his own memory.  Sadly, it was not a winning one.  Ah, well.

I have to wonder – what is the grater for? Do we grate spam now? On the grill?

So I get these sorts of Spam posts all the time on Facebook.  But that’s not all.  I get Spam other places as well, like say this blog.  Okay, it’s not the sort of Spam you eat, or at least I wouldn’t advise it.  You really don’t know where this spam has been.  I’ve noticed lately that the usually excellent spam filter on WordPress has not been working as well.  Stuff is slipping through the old grater.  Either that or our spammers have gotten more clever.  Check out some of the comments that made it through to my blog.

Written by the cleverly disguised blogger “Site”: I am really glad to read this weblog posts which includes tons of valuable facts, thanks for providing such data.”

Quite the compliment, Site, but I’m a wee bit suspicious considering you got these valuable facts from one of my 50 Shades of Grey reviews.

Next up is “Raspberry Ketones Ultra” (how do they come up with these totally realistic blogger names?  I dunno!):

“My relatives every time say that I am wasting my time here at web, but I know I am getting familiarity every day by reading thes pleasant content.”

Yeah, sorry, but I’m afraid your relatives might be right.

And finally . . . “accountant bendigo” has this to say: “Hi there, I want to subscribe for this webpage to take hottest updates,
therefore where can i do it please assist.”

This comment was in response to a post I wrote with Merbear entitled “Alice and Merbear’s State of the Hoo-Ha Address.”  I think accountant bendigo is a pervert.  I might have to invite him over sometime.

Okay, well, that’s more than enough spam for one day.  Let’s see what’s for dinner . . . oh, man.

Spam DONUTS? Why? Just – whyyyyy?