Tag Archives: the cold

The Cold Does Bother Me Anyway

Things were going well.  I wasn’t sick all the time.  There were birds twittering in the trees and crap.

Then came . . . THE COLD.  And the birds froze and died and fell out of the trees.  Not really, they got the heck out of here, but I can’t because I live here.  I live in Texas, so it’s not as bad as Yankee weather.  I don’t understand how anyone can live up north without sacrificing themselves to a snow plow.  My father had a sophisticated term for this type of cold.  “Colder than a well-digger’s butt in Idaho”.  That is the ultimate in cold, though I have never been to Idaho, met a well-digger, or taken the temperature of his butt.

That's pretty darn cold right there.

My scientific chart

Let it snow, let it snow, MAKE IT STOP.  I hate that song, and the White Christmas song, and I hate snow.  Also ice.  And cold, did I mention that?  Partly I hate cold because it makes my lungs have seizures or something and then refuse to come out and play.  So it’s hard to breathe and I get sick easier.  This is partly why I haven’t posted in a while.  I am sorry about that.  You can go on living happily now.

I went to the doctor, but he said I just have a cold that has lasted since last Wednesday.  A cold – from the cold.  How nice.  This cold cold has stuffed up both my nostrils and my brain.  I can’t the think straight.  Thinking is not needed to write on my blog.  It is needed to work, so I’m not sure what I’m going to do about that.  I have to write a short bio on former slave Frederick Douglass for our exhibit.  This is what I have so far:

It's off to a good start.

It’s off to a good start.

Where was I?  Oh, yeah, the cold.  Did you know there are people who actually like this weather?  I knew one guy who did, and it’s a good thing he lived elsewhere cause this makes me angry.  Know what else does?  Elsa.  That’s right, the freaking snow queen from Disney’s Frozen.  I used to like her but now I’m starting to think she’s kind of a jerk.  Prancing around in a flimsy dress while everyone else freezes to death.  Real nice, Elsa.

Wheeee, snow!  Ice!  Car wrecks!  Pneumonia!

Wheeee, snow! Ice! Car wrecks! Pneumonia!

So I’m supposed to end this blog post with a kick or something.  But I got nothing but rambling.  So here were go.

Frederick Douglass

He lived.  It was cold.  He died.

The End