Tag Archives: the new English language

You Suck :D or Smileys Change Everything.

Good job!  :D

Good job! 😀

Communicating online is tough.  You just can’t get inflection across very easily.  Sometimes people think you’re being sarcastic when you’re not.  This is not usually the case with me, since most of the time yes I am being sarcastic.  But every once in a while, I might say something nice.  In this case, I need to let you know I mean it.  Since there is no sarcasm or serious font, the next best thing is our buddy, the smiley.  😀

Smileys are fabulous for getting intent across.  I can literally say pretty much anything and as long as I add a smiley at the end, it’s all okay.  For instance, I could say “You suck. :D.” and it’s just like saying, “You suck – just kiddin’!”  People love it when you say that.  A smiley is so much more efficient than having to write out “just kiddin'”, though.

Likewise, frownies also have their place.  Like if your friend says a house fell on her mother, and you don’t know how to console her, you can just make a frowny.  :(.  Sadface, my friend.  Or you can offer online hugs.  ((hugs)).  These are even safer than those side hugs that ultra conservative Christians do.

But really, nothing takes the place of a good smiley.  Especially if said person hates emoticons.   Here’s a quick example:

Darren: Hi! 😀

Sabrina: I hate smileys.

Darren: Sorry 😦

Sabrina:  Actually I hate all emoticons.  They are so irritating.  Why do people use those?  I mean, gawd . . .

Darren: 🙂

Sabrina: Now you’re just being a jerk.

Darren: You suck, Sabrina.  😀

See?  Darren gets his point across to Sabrina, but he softens the blow with a smiley.

But things have changed recently in WordPress land, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed.  Our smileys have gone rogue.  I used to get this cute little smiley and now I’ve got Buckwheat here.  :D.  I don’t get it.  Why does WordPress have to change stuff?  You suck, WordPress, you and your smileys.  😀

Still, whatever form your smiley comes in, it is a useful part of our new vocabulary.  Do you guys use smileys?  Do they annoy you?  Did this post annoy you?  If so, I’m totes sorry.  :D.  I do have to ask, though, how do you make one of those puking faces like you use when instant messaging?  This could help me out when I’m reviewing awful television shows like on TLC.  A terrified smiley would also come in handy.  Anyone with computer skillz that knows how to translate this on WordPress, please let me know.  I will reward you handsomely. :D.  No really, I will.  😀

Alice :D.