Tag Archives: trolls

Virtual Killers Anonymous Help Desk

I promised earlier to tell you about some of the fun new comments I got on very old posts.  People continue to comment on my post from 2013 about killing virtual people.  This might be because it comes up anytime someone looks for the search terms “How do I kill my virtual people?”.  It pops up on the first page, last I checked.  Thanks, Google, though really, has no one else thought of writing about this?  Just me, huh?  Ah, well, I am certainly not the first one to think of doing it, judging by the response I have had.  I’ll give you a link to it on the off chance you weren’t here in 2013.

There were actually comments on a couple of other posts too, but as I was looking over “Hi, my name is Alice and I kill tiny virtual people“, I realized there were several comments I hadn’t answered both against and – sometimes scarily – in support of my treatment of pretend people.  So I gathered them all up here in my heart and then smacked them onto this here post.

First are the ones who are very upset with me over the post.  I may have reported these guys before, but I figure it I can’t remember it, neither can you.

I hope this person liked my response.

I hope this person liked my response.

What I love most about this irate comment, besides the fact that it came two years later, is how upset this person is that I gave incorrect information on my blog.  I’m really not an educational blog, unless you ask my spambots, who highly recommend me to other spambots.  And I’m sorry, Lisa who happens to have no blog like most of these comments, if they didn’t want me to use the red punishment glove, they really shouldn’t have given it to me, should they?  Case closed.

I like being mean.

I like being mean.

Come on, Alaska, there’s no need to get touchy just because you aren’t actually a real state.  I play the game because it lets me slap people over and over, which is usually frowned upon outside of the game.  And there are just some people who need it.  Also, you should consider forgiveness, because my little pretend man forgave me as soon as I bought him some bread.  And I’d locked him in the nuclear room for a week.

I'd better get to confession. The priest will find this one interesting.

I’d better get to confession. The priest will find this one interesting.

Then there are the ones who support me . . . maybe just a little too much.

Um. Sure?

Um. Sure?

Happy to be helpful and all.  Just one of my many acts of public service there.

alice2

???

I’m not sure how this person was burning the virtual woman. I didn’t realize this was an option in this game.  The Sims, sure, but this one?   Also this is not the place to find out if something is normal, Dee.  Sorry.

Okay?

Okay?

You don’t have to answer comments if your readers do it for you.  But this one goes on for a while even after this screen shot.  I sort of . . . left it alone.

Finally, my favorite.

What?

What?

First off, I love how this literally turned into a Crazy Computer Gamers Anonymous group.  Second, what is the person responding meaning?  If they go peacefully?  Can you arrest the virtual people now, cause I didn’t realize you could.  That adds a new layer of fun.  Or maybe K.A.R meant that the people kept dying – peacefully? – on their own before she / he could kill them?  I just don’t know, but it continues to perplex me.

That’s all I have for now.  Come back later and I’ll show you how I insulted Jesus and screwed up the plot of Sophia the First.  Also Trump voodoo dolls.

Alice

My First Troll or Dragon Tales Still Sucks

When I first started reviewing 50 Shades of Awful and Twidud, I figured I’d get some angry fan spittle all over my blog.  Even when I had only a handful of viewers, it wouldn’t have surprised me.  There are some fans so dedicated they will seek out anybody, no matter how small, in order to protect their sacred cow (moooo).  And yet – I never heard a peep.  In fact, one person who was a fan of Shades still thought I was funny and reblogged my post.  Go figure.

Then it happened.  A troll.  A real, live troll!  On my blog!  It was a wondrous day, you guyz.  I had to read the comment a few times to make sure it was real.  It was so much better than the spammers (this blog to read is educational to be coming back soon.)  You’ll never guess what post irritated the reader.  Not 50 Shades, not Twilight, not my occasional political ramblings, not the times I screwed up revered American holidays like Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving.  Nope.

Welcome, troll!

Welcome, troll!

It was Dragon Tales.  It’s been a while since I’ve done a review of awful children’s T.V.  I must get back to this, now that I’ve finished awful adult books.  But the troll was angry!  He or she told me “Dragon Tales is a good show!  It’s for kids, not for 40-year-old fartheads like you!”  Said troll had no blog, just an email address that went something like “dragontalesmaniacalfreakedoutfan.”  Let me tell you, I was deeply saddened by this insult.  For your information, troll, I am NOT forty, okay?

And that’s not all!  There was another comment on another post, this one about how Clifford was either doin’ steroids or exposed to nuclear waste.  It said, and I quote “Again, mean!”  Mean?  Me?  I thought my blog was sweetness and light!  Now I’m all disillusioned.

Sort of like when I saw this show the first time.  Those are NOT dragons.

Sort of like when I saw this show the first time. Those are NOT dragons.

I thought this was the end of it, but I think this person has a whole fan club that is still tracking my blog.  I keep getting hits because of it.  Check out the most recent search words people used to find my blog.  Just today: dragon tales (10), dragon tails (2), dragon tale (1), dragontales (1), and yesterday: dragon tales (11), dragon’s tale (3), dragon tale (1).  And this has been going on for a while now.  It might be my new top search word this year.  It would help if this fan club could figure out how to spell Dragon Tales.

Far out, huh?  This just goes to show you how bizarre the Internet can be.  I suppose I should be thankful to these guys for giving my blog traffic.  Therefore, I’ve decided to review it again.  Here’s the original post for any of you who missed it.  And a clip of the show, too.  Guard your stomachs.

 

Upon reviewing the show again, dear troll, I have to say . . . it still sucks.  Yeah.  Pretty much.  I mean, yes, it is for children and not adults.  But adults are usually forced to watch this crap too.  Unless they prefer to neglect their children like Max and Ruby’s parents.  (Max and Ruby review coming up, Max and Ruby fans!)  Besides, just because it’s for kids doesn’t mean it can’t have a little quality to it.  For instance, I can watch Sesame Street without gagging as long as I turn it off before the Elmo comes on.  But Dragon Tales makes the mistake of not only being annoying and stupid, but pretentious about it.

So sorry to spill your milk there (everyone makes mistakes, oh yes, they do) but I don’t like it.  Sure the dragons teach the kids Spanish (Why are the dragons Spanish?  Do they also have Russian dragons?  Scottish ones?) but we already had Dora for that (Saltaaaaaaaaaa!)  We didn’t need any more.  I mean, Dora was shrieky and irritating, but at least she didn’t whine nearly as much as these so-called dragons.  So, yeah, review stands.  On the suck-o-meter, we have a ten.  But please – do come back.  I’ll leave the rug cleaner out for you.

Love and kisses,

Alice