Tag Archives: yoga and turtles don’t mix

When Turtles Fly

I was going strong today, I really was.  Bought some groceries, walked around the block, and decided to do a little yoga.  Ah, sweet, relaxing yoga.

I had my mat, my bolster, and my video.  There was only one thing I didn’t realize.

There was a predator in my midst, watching with beady little eyes.

I turned on the video, and was getting all into it, moving my legs this way and that while stretching out my arms.  My arms connected to the hands with all the fingers on it.  Fingers that could look like wiggling worms.  If you’ve seen my past post on our egg-laying, cricket eating turtle, Indiana Jones, you may see where this is going.

So I slide my arm out while the lady on the video says “breathe” and CHOMP something bites down into my finger.  Panicked, I screamed and flung my arm and something flew off into the distance.  Indiana made an impressive landing onto some laundry, safe in her sturdy shell.  10.0.  I, on the other hand, had a bite mark on my finger that HURT.  I don’t care how small and cute these little guys are, man they can bite hard.

Approximate recreation of events.

Approximate recreation of events.

Now, you may wonder, why was the turtle out while I was doing yoga?  I can tell you I sure as heck would not have gotten onto the floor like one giant turtle food buffet if I’d known she was out.  I called my dear husband, worried that I might have turtle rabies or perhaps turn into one of the teenage mutant ninja turtles, and he said not to worry.  Oh, and also “Hey I was wondering where she was!”

I’m thinking of slipping the turtle into bed beside him tonight and sneaking off to the couch.  Sounds fair.

Alice General Warning: Do not attempt Yoga with turtle on loose.