Wherein Alice discusses the awfulness of children’s TV and highlights the whacked out world of the Teletubbbies.
Clifford the Big Red Atomic Dog
Wherein Alice debates whether Clifford the Big Red Dog is a mutant or using illegal steroids.
The One with the Bilingual Dragons
Wherein Alice ponders how Dragon Tales can have a bipolar, dual-gendered dragon and keep its G rating.
Wherein Alice talks about Big, Big World and its host, the stoned Hippy Sloth.
Wherein Alice discusses the creepiness that is Thomas the Tank Engine and Jay Jay the Jet Plane
Wherein Alice expresses concern about Bob the Builder and Handy Manny and their schizophrenic relationships with their building equipment.
Wherein Alice tries to get a clue about Dora the Explorer and Blue’s Clues but can’t stop the repeating in her head. Salta!!!
The One with the Purple Dinosaur
Wherein . . . you knew this one was coming. The horror of Barney.
Wherein Alice shows she doesn’t hate every children’s show, because she likes Sesame Street (unlike some politicians). She does hate Elmo, though.
Of Cyclops Cucumbers and Fuzzy Orange Hats
Wherein Yo Gabba Gabba is discussed and Alice freaks out over that cyclops cucumber
The One With the Teen Who Happens to be a Rockstar
Wherein Alice shows parents that it just gets worse as kids age with her review of Hannah Montana
Wherein Alice wonders why we can’t just be lazy in freaking Lazy Town.
Opera: Now with 100 Percent More Baby Animals!
Wherein Alice talks, not sings, about how Wonder Pets and its operatic baby animals make her want to stick pencils in her ears.
Wherein Alice wonders why she didn’t come up with Oobi so she could get paid to do dumb stuff with her hands.
How Many Legs Am I Holding Up?
Wherein Alice describes Oswald’s bizarro world of talking penguins, octupi, and, of course, flowers.
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