But so important. I found this post and had to share it. It’s about a woman who married a “Christian Grey” that so many women (supposedly) fantasize about. I couldn’t see how to reblog it, so I will just post the link.
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©Alice and aliceatwonderland.wordpress.com, [2011-]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited and may be punished by removal of head by Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alice and aliceatwonderland.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
aliceatwonderland 
Possessive abuse men are terrifiying – they mind-fuck you and it’s very hard to escape…very hard.
I know. It’s the manipulative head games that are the worst – not even the physical violence, although that is scary. People don’t get it. They think people are complaining about the book because there is BDSM (which isn’t like actual BDSM at all, from what I hear – not that I’m into that sort of thing) but it’s not that. If you’re just hit, you know to run. But if you’re convinced hitting is normal, or it won’t happen again, or he was abused so it’s okay, etc, then you stay.
Exactly… (as most bloggers will say…I’ve written about X topic)… http://themercenaryresearcher.wordpress.com/2012/10/18/i-keep-a-scrapbook-of-our-life-together-and-if-i-cant-have-you-no-one-will/
so this topic is near and dear to my heart.
Thanks for sharing! I will never read these books (that is I won’t pay for that crap and I won’t have anybody else pay for it, just so I can have a more “informed” opinion), and I’ll never read Twitlight. But the relationship that unfolded in the movies (saw the first two, yuck) was very troubling to me. Though I intellectually rejected every little piece of it, I could sense the “primal sex” oozing from it, and I have a hunch that that may have an effect on teenagers, young, and gullible women of all ages.
I guess we’ll have to write some books ourselves, ones with real heroines.
I know – it’s creepy. Where DID the real heroines go? If only I could control my ADHD enough to finally finish something and send it off . . .
I’m actually writing something that may contain a heroine or two. If that EVER gets finished, you’ll have to give it a review. Can’t be worse than what you’re reading right now…
I would totally review it. I enjoyed reviewing Carrie Rubin’s book in contrast to 50 Shades of Crap.
Now link me to whoever Carrie Rubin is!
You know, I think books with good female heroines really do affect girls! My favorite author when I was growing up, Tamora Pierce, writes about women who became the first female knights, or girls who save the kingdom (they don’t wait to be saved!) – and that led to reading Anne McCaffrey, and so many other great female role models! I did read Twilight and despised Bella because she’s so needy and can’t do anything for herself. Go write those books!!
Aye, sister 😉
Fer sure. I know the series you’re talking about – the woman who rides like a man, I think? It’s been forever since I read those books. I don’t read as much fiction as I used to – I’d rather write it. But publish? Eh . . . I’d have to settle on a story and a version etc. I have written several vampires stories (prob enough for a few books) in response to the Twilight thing with people with brains and whatnots. Not saying it’s great literature, but it’s not hard to beat E.L. and Stephenie.
Haha! True, true. I bet your stories are great though! And that was exactly the series I was talking about! (There are another 4 series after that one though, all with strong ass heroines ^.^)
Here is my review of her book and a link to her blog. https://aliceatwonderland.wordpress.com/2012/11/02/the-seneca-scourge-by-carrie-rubin-a-review/
Finally somebody gets it.
Exactly. Yet if you look at the comments, someone says “It’s only a book.” Head/desk.
Whoa. I thought it was a piece of fiction before I started reading it. I thought she was one of those women who fantasize about these things. That was not what I expected.
Teenagers all over the world are now convinced that their man will be the Adonis-like abuser. This is terrible. I don’t know what else to say.
That’s what’s sad. Edward was bad enough, and then comes Christian whose romantic lines honestly come straight out of a handbook for battered women. I have a post back there somewhere where dear Christipoo hits every damn thing on the list of warning signs. But he’s so romantic! Ugh.
That is a scary read. If your instinct is telling you to run, you should listen.
Yes. There is an excellent book out there called The Gift of Fear. It talks about following your instincts – it can literally save your life. There are so many cases of people later saying “I thought something didn’t look right” but trying to be polite (especially women). It really changed how I view a lot of stuff.
Thanks for this! I am now have a facebook fight with a fan of the books!:)
OMG, we must totally be facebook buddies! If you want, that is – you can email me and I will tell you my secret identity! Ooooh! I bet the facebook fight is awesome. I had one of those quite a while back and man there were a few ladies that were convinced I was cracked and that it was just a book and that I was promoting censorship (which I was NOT. You can read the crap you want, but I can also tell you it sucks). Anyway, the consensus was that I had not read it (Speaker and others’ excellent recaps were not enough – turns out they were pretty damn spot on) and I couldn’t give a review if I hadn’t. So I read it. Come to think of it, facebook is really bad for you, isn’t it?
LOL! I am getting the same types of responses – that I haven’t read them, so how do I know?! I pointed out that I have read all the very detailed recaps, and that I DID read the first 170 pages of Shitpile #1, but that is still not good enough. She actually says that Ana CONSENTED to the belt he beat her bloody with!! Yes, she consented at first, but he should have stopped when he knew he hurt her! UGGGHHH!!!
What is wrong with people? I mean, how far do you really have to read to know it sucks? Right now I’m down in the vortex, and it sucks, sucks harder, sucks even harder. And it’s so much of the same thing, recycled, recycled, recycled. Really, you can read the first damn paragraph and tell it’s stupid. The ironic thing is that once you read it, the people who said you must read it to review it say “Well, why did you read it if you didn’t like it?” FacePalm.
ha! that’s funny. OK, it’s not funny but when I first read “It’s about a woman who married a “Christian Grey””, the only thing that came to my mind was, what the hell is a Christian Grey? What kind of non-sense are Christian about now? I almost googled it but clicked on the link instead. Then I realized it had nothing to do with the Christian religions/cults.
Why do people read crap like that? I don’t understand.
It is ironic. There are some Christian groups who are convinced the books are Satanic. I think I have a post on that somewhere. Oh, hell, clearly if it’s about this stupid book I probably have a post about it. Anyway, the books are stupid, and in some ways can be very dangerous (the glorifying of abuse, etc) but I don’t think they’re of the devil. For one thing, I think the devil is probably smarter than EL James (saying there is one). The real irony, though, is that they are freaked out by the naughty sex bits, when that’s the least of it. The real problem is the emotional abuse, and let’s not forget, the absolutely horrible writing.
Oh, how I wish I could ask “What the hell is a Christian Grey?”
there will always be a Christian group or two that thinks Book X is satanic. They says the same thing about Harry Potter and The Lord Of The Rings.
But I agree, the sex is nothing. The abuse is the dangerous part
Frightening read.. and yes kill me now, as I put up my hand for being one of those women who has read Shades – purely because I was curious as to what it was all about and didn’t realise about the abuse – the writing is definitely not skilful – the “story – line” (if you could call it that) to be honest got exceedingly boring by the Chapter. I mean the erotica/romantic side were the only things that kept my interest, the abusive & degrading side – no and that became so repetitive. Of course in the end Christian turns out be a good guy after all.
In saying this I totally agree that we shouldn’t have the likes of Christian Grey placed on a pedestal, but I read various pieces of literature and I, like everyone else have my own opinion, so I shall just tip toe away now before I get into too much trouble. 🙂
Pfft, I’ve read two of the stupid books, and I’m on the third. I hate them, and yet am strangely fascinated by them at the same time, like some sort of train wreck. And I really think that is what has sold her books the most – the curiosity. As far as Christian turning out to be a good guy – don’t think so. Of course, as much as I hate that character, I also hate the Ana character. She is a really awful person. The only worry I have is that it can be easy to get sucked in by a very attractive, powerful guy, especially if you are young and insecure. I see women I know, or have known, in Ana, and it’s sad.
But I could write an entire post on that (and have? Probably, I have no idea anymore.) But no, you aren’t in trouble. If you thought the books were the best thing ever, I might wonder about your sanity, but I can hardly fault you for curiosity or for reading them. Especially when I have a billion posts recapping the things!
Alice- I felt the same way – hated yet fascinated – I prefer your descriptiveness to mine 🙂
Reading that, it just highlights that a lot of people really do get their kicks by the power they hold over other people. And that is where abuse starts. It’s not so much about what is actually done as it is about the power that the perpetrator has over the victim – and that’s any perp and and their victim(s) for any form of abuse. Which includes bullying, rape, emotional blackmail, or just simply over-stepping the boundaries and the perp having (for example) a particular view of their victim’s personality that isn’t true, and trying to make the victim into the character the perp thinks they are.
That is SO true. Give some people a tiny bit of power and BAM they think they’re God or something. And these people are everywhere – school, work, at home, on the internet, you name it. I doubt there is anyone who hasn’t felt at least a bully’s fist before (and the worst fists are the ones that come in words.)
That is true. And with the internet – and smart phones which have internet on them – it’s so much easier for people to be nasty. Especially in places where you can post as “anonymous”. A friend of mine posted a link on Facebook an article about a mother wanting her 6-year-old daughter to have a cochlear implant (the child was deaf but eligible) and there was some eejit posting anonymously about how it was wrong for the parents to do that to their child and that giving her the ability to hear was a form of abuse!
Facebook is awful about that. I don’t go there nearly as often as I used to for that exact reason. Also comment sections under any article. Even the blogosphere is not immune. Sad.
I think the problem is that these things aren’t so regulated as folks think they ought to be – but then if regulation is brought in, there are complaints about freedom of speech. This is why my WP account is set for me to review comments, so that if someone says something unfair, I can just delete the comment and not let anyone else see it.
That’s not a bad idea. I have mine set to review comments for new people posting, but it’s tempting to do it for all comments. Granted, I should probably have it review my posts and comments too. Like, it could say, Alice, don’t do that, and I’d go, oh, good point. And I’m I am thankful that WP collects the SPAM. You wont’ believe the crap in your spam folder.
I’ve not looked in my spam folder. Which is probably a good thing; 50 Shades has scarred my brain enough as it is!