Delegates, PACs, Caucuses, Primaries, and other words with no meaning

Early voting has started for the Texas primary.  I know because there are massive amounts of Trump signs out in the lawn by one of our voting places.  I think the building has something to do with city government, but really don’t care because the city is run by Republicans.  I did see one Bernie Sanders sticker on the back of a car.  These are brave people.  I’d be afraid of having my bumper shot.

Anyhoo, I should get over there and cast my vote.  My husband votes Republican (I have attempted to reason with him, and barring that, possibly drug him, to no avail) so we act maturely and often vote without each other.  And don’t tell the other person. You know, in case he or she forgot.  We never forget.  But it’s a fun game we play.  He’s not into politics really, which is how we stay married.  But he still votes Republican because it runs in the family or something, like mental illness.  At least we can agree on one thing.  Neither one of us can stand Trump.

I will never, never tire of this picture.  It should be plastered on all his campaign photos.  They'd still vote for him.

I will never, never tire of this picture. It should be plastered on all his campaign photos. They’d still vote for him.

But like acid reflux, he just keeps coming back up.  I actually did try to read a little on this primary caucus thing, and now I am officially way more confused.  They’ve had primaries (or caucuses?) in Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina, though not all take place for both parties at the same time, and some are decided and some are not and some are closed and some are open and some are mixed (like candy!).  I have no idea why exactly.  I do know Trump is winning a lot. So is Hillary.  (Like there’s been 4 states out of 50!  The media has totally called it already!)

But according to my lawyer friend who does not get news from Facebook, Bernie still has the popular vote of the Democrats.  I’m not sure anyone really has a strong vote with the Republicans, since some still refuse to bow out, even if they have no percentage of the vote.  And some states have split delegates, and are not winner take all though everyone says they have won, and certain delegates have pledged themselves to each (What are delegates again?  Who are these people?  Can I be one? I can delegate great!) but Hillary has the super PACS (like Pac-Man?) and I’m still not totally hip on this whole delegate / PAC thing.  I keep thinking that we should just, you know, vote for who we want ourselves. But what do I know?

My thoughts on this.

My thoughts on this.

I do know I haven’t heard much about these states in a while (I totally forgot about Iowa), so way to go getting your state noticed, guys!  But you should know, there is a lot of stupid out there, so please sane people who happen to want to vote my way, get out and vote.  Even vote for Hillary.  Though I think another four years of Clintons will be torture, it won’t be anything like what we’ll get with one of these wackamoles in the other party.  At this point I am actually missing Romney and McCain, you guys. That’s bad. That’s super bad.  And Super Tuesday (it’s not a football game, sorry) is coming up and we’ll get primaries from several states, including my quiet, unassuming little state Texas.  I’m not scared AT ALL.

But back to the headlines, which stay as wacky as ever!

Brought to you by the ghost of Socks the cat.

Brought to you by the ghost of Socks the cat.

Pat Buchanan political commentator says Trump’s rise is a rejection of “Bush Republicanism.”

Funny, I thought his rise to power came after the opening of the Seventh Seal.  And what is Bush Republicanism exactly? Sort of kind of sane Republicanism?

Pat Robertson: Bernie Sanders voters are a bunch of “ignorant sheep.”

But Pat is like on the 700 club.  I thought it was supposed to be good to be a sheep so Jesus can be your shepherd?  But what do I know?

I STILL know more about politics than most Trump supporters.  Baaaa.

I STILL know more about politics than most Trump supporters. Baaaa.

Trump pranks Jeb Bush by stealing his website campaign.

Trump tweeted “Jeb Bush forgot to renew the rights to his domain name for his website.  Guess who bought it?”  You know, sometimes I forget we’re running an actual political campaign here with all this here tomfoolery!

Jeb Bush: Republican candidate suspends his campaign.

Aw.  Jeb, please know, your political ads were the bomb and I will never forget them.

Jeb doesn't get politics either.

Jeb doesn’t get politics either.

Marco (Polo) Rubio won’t let a cracked molar keep him from campaigning.

OMG, the heroism.  So you were in a prison camp?  Big deal, John McCain!  Rubio has to see the dentist!

Cruz: ‘We are the only campaign who can beat Donald Trump’

Well, you did do it one time out of three.  But – yeah that doesn’t make me feel any better.

I'm totally sincere, guys.

I’m totally sincere, guys.

These guys sure are a hoot.  Thing One discovered a video called “Trump and Friends” which puts the faces of political candidates on the trains from Thomas the Tank Engine, and makes the trains even more disturbing.  But it fits perfectly, considering those trains were always being jerks to each other.  Enjoy!

 

-Alice

 

 

 

 

 

 

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17 responses

  1. How does a candidate running for president forget to renew the rights to his (or her) domain name? Don’t they have people who make sure things like that don’t happen?

    I still don’t understand primaries vs. caucuses. At this stage in my life, I’m certain I never will.

    1. I’m thinking Jeb’s mom forgot to tell him. It’s tough being class mom of the Republican party. Have to love how Trump so maturely took it over (I mean okay, yeah, I’d totally have done it too but I’m like, not running for president) and tweeted about it. Maybe that’s how he’ll negotiate peace talks. Just steal their domain names and write nasty notes on their sites.

      I don’t understand that stuff either and I just read about it. I think we’re too old to learn old, pointless tricks.

      1. Can you imagine Trump as president sending snarky tweets to other world leaders? Super. Just what we need.

  2. It’s a sign of the end times for your campaign when your people start making mistakes that stupid. Especially when you have more of other people’s money backing you than any of the other candidates. Jeb, Jeb, Jeb, wherefore art though Bush? Say, how many attorney friends do you talk politics with? Also your video link isn’t working. Oh, and I didn’t get my information from Facebook, that is true. I got it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democratic_Party_presidential_primaries,_2016

    Pledged delegates to the national convention are the ones who have to vote the way the primary/caucus determined they have to vote. Each state gets a certain number of them, determined by some magic formula which doesn’t exactly correlate to the size of the population of the state but is vaguely related. Superdelegates are politicians who get to vote whichever way they want. At this point, the best bet for getting many of them to vote for Bernie Sanders is to threaten to oust them in the next election they are up for if they don’t. Or beg. Maybe some of both. They’re really the codependent spouses of the Democratic party.

    1. Codependent spouses, ha. Can we drug them? We are talking about the future of the free world here. Trump gets in and I’m pretty sure his peace talks will have someone dropping the bomb within minutes.

      Yeah I only know one lawyer.

      I still don’t understand all that stuff. And even though yes, that was pretty stupid of Jeb, it shows how immature Trump is as well. Kind of like what a ten-year-old with no impulse control would do. Wait – that’s him pretty much.

      I will check out the video. IT MUST PLAY IT IS SO IMPORTANT.

      1. Oh, the video wouldn’t play because I was on my work computer. (Some of the blogs I subscribe to are work related!) They block YouTube. Duh. Sorry about that!

  3. My husband and I were talking about this earlier — how much it sucks that despite Bernie have the majority of the popular vote, that he isn’t winning. I’ve seen a lot of Bernie stuff all over our (very conservative) area of SC and not a thing for Hillary, so I’m hopeful.

    And freaking Trump. One more reason to be embarrassed by this state. My husband voted for Jeb and he was floored that he didn’t fare better against that whack job.

    1. I was surprised about Jeb too – really he didn’t have a shot because he couldn’t figure out how to play this new game where people steal websites out from under you and cackle about it like a child. Or yell horrible things about entire religions and races and don’t get in trouble. And don’t follow basic rules like not interrupting.

      I’ve never been a Republican, but I’ve never seen anything like this from this party before. The other candidates have to be about as awful just to keep up with Trump and his idiocy. And people are so tired of the status quo, and probably secretly like that he’s racist, that they vote for him. It’s nuts.

      I hope he is so pompous he does go third party. Hope, hope, hope.

      1. Nope, he seemed to be way too much of a nice guy for this election season. What’s worse is how pretty much none of the Republicans are condemning this, but laughing along like freaking middle school kids.

        1. I think that is a great comparison. Middle school boys. My daughter can’t stand most of the boys around her. But at least they are teens. There should be some grownups there. You would think.

  4. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in so long…even though the backstory is frightening. I love that video from the train angle. I couldn’t stop laughing. Thank Thing One. My father loaned me a million dollars. Yeah, say it like it’s normal, douchebag. Everyone’s daddy has that kind of money hanging around. Ayeayeaye.

    1. Thanks! I’m the same way – I love reading political humor, then I step back and go – oh crap but it’s true. Maaan. But the video was priceless, yes. I will tell her you’re thankful. 🙂

  5. Awesome video Alice – too funny. I feel better now that I realize I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand this caucus thingy. 😀

    1. I just don’t get the caucus thingy. I tried to read about it, but my brain couldn’t absorb it. It tends to spit out knowledge it deems useless. Like Math, for instance.

  6. I don’t get the primary/caucus thing either. All I know is that it seems like a bunch of political suits get together behind closed doors and decide on who we the people get to vote for in November. And those guys are apoplectic about both Trump and Sanders.

    Personally, I find the idea of Hillary as president just as disturbing as the idea of Trump. Are these folks really the best we can do?

    1. I think the candidate pool gets more shallow each year. The Republicans started with way too many, and so far along STILL have five. The Democrats really had only two from the beginning. And the Democratic Party clearly thought Hillary would coast through with no problem. I don’t like the idea of more Clintons – I think they just need to take a break and move on.

      Clearly the Democrats are leaning on Bill’s record of economic prosperity, and conveniently forgetting all the mines he drags along. Hillary is also not liked by many people. But Bernie has surprised them. In most elections I’d say he wouldn’t have a shot, but with the total crazies on the Republican side, I think they ought to take the chance.

      The Republicans are going to have to choose between insane man and Democrat, because if they deny him the candidacy or upset his royalness, he’ll third party on them so fast. For the good of the country, I hope they let him go third party. This news just in: 20 percent of Trump supporters don’t support Emancipation Proclamation. Really???

  7. Just the still from that video is scary. I dare not watch it!!

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