Ah, Independence Day.  The day we AmeriCANS celebrate our independence from  England, the country that currently has banned us from going back there supposedly because of our killer cooties!  Also on the patriotic irony front, Mexico banned some of our citizens, specifically Arizonans, from going over the border on this holiday weekend.  I think it’s just because they don’t know how to party like we do.

You see, the 4th of July is one of those holidays which combines the joys of  drinking copious amounts of beer and setting explosives on fire!  Cause ‘Merica!  I admit that I personally am not that fond of fireworks or beer, which is probably illegal, and find sitting outside on a summer night and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes just to see some pretty sparkles hardly worth it.  For some people, though, this is the ultimate holiday for proving just how stupid humanity can be, and they are not going to just let that pass by!  Take the idiot in New York who made national news by launching illegal fireworks directly into the window of his own house and taking around ten minutes to realize it.  At which point, he used a water hose.  Of course he did.  God Bless America, my home sweet home.

Click on the link above.  You really have to see it to believe it.

We weren’t having our usual festivities in the park, though my neighbors certainly were until well past midnight, so since I was up I thought I might see how my crazy, evil sim Boppo the clown celebrated Independence Day.  Technically he’s Canadian, but he is always willing to drink and blow stuff up, so he was totally in.  I decided to send him to the beach for his party.  Sims are notoriously stupid, just like real people, so this promised to be a real blast.

Boppo adding fuel to the fire

Boppo started out by purchasing a portable bar and a buttload of fireworks of all shapes and sizes before setting them all around a giant open flame and inviting a bunch of Sims over to play.  Looks legit to me!

Boppo’s pals quickly line up for the free booze.  The lawn gnome watches in anticipation.

Bonfires and fireworks.  Two things that go great together.

Not sure where that toddler came from.  No matter, light ’em up, Boppo!

Crazy clowns light quickly.

Looking a little creepy, er singed there, Boppo.  Maybe a change of clothes . . .

How you doin’? 

Oh no, not the speedo, Boppo, anything but that!  Please put your clothes back on.

Boppo’s not the only one getting a little hot here.  Wait, Boppo, maybe not on deck . . .

Nevermind.

After setting the deck, and himself, on fire Boppo figured it’d be a good time for BBQ.  Cause it’s always a good time for that.

Boppo, I think you forgot the burgers.

And he’s back in the speedo.  Sensitive people shield your eyes, this is way worse than burning Sims.  Speaking of which . . .

We’re getting a lot more deep fried Sims around here. 

The Sims seem awfully okay about getting shot in the faces with fireworks.  Must be the booze.  Good call with the bar, there, Boppo.

Weeee!  Hey, where do these kids keep coming from?

Just realized we haven’t seen the toddler in a while, and now there’s some new kid there.  Everyone is just drawn to Boppo, like moths to a . . . firework.

Boppo’s sim friend smells something burning – oh it’s skin, okay.

Well, all good things must come to an end, and surprisingly this one did not end with the Grim Reeper sipping a tequila.  We can’t always get what we want.  Boppo had a good time, though, and after a shower he decided to do a little dancing with himself.

Or just talking to himself.  He does both.

Happy 4th of July, Boppo, and to all of you as well!  Hope you had as much fun as this crazed clown.  Or less.  Less might be better.

~Alice