If you don’t know who Hugo is by now, you have been living under a rock. An extremely boring rock. Hugo happens to be the actor playing Christian Grey in Speaker7’s rendition of the 50 Shades of Grey series. You might be somewhat prejudiced just because Hugo happens to be a puppet with a strange resemblance to Mr. Clean and no lower body parts. If so, you are clearly not recognizing true talent. Boy will you feel bad when he later gets his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, you losers.
Hugo stars with the famous actress Goofy, the previously unnamed blue stuffed rabbit. There are rumors that there is more to their relationship than just stuffing random objects up various holes. Also that he uses Herbal Essences bodywash and thus smells like a girl. And that, at the moment, he’s actually in a mental ward. Are these rumors true? Who is the REAL Hugo?
Though she hasn’t technically agreed to an interview, I figure we’ll nag Speaker until she agrees to answer the questions for a future post on her site. If anyone has any other questions, feel free to add them in the comments section below. I’m sure she has nothing better to do than to talk to puppets. Especially since her brain is falling out her ears.
Anyway, this post will allow her more time to recuperate from the trauma of the final book of Shades, so I think it’s really in her best interest. It certainly isn’t just because since being featured on her site I have gotten more hits on my site than ever before. Much more than the usual, some of which might have been my own views in my ever obsessive need to check my posts for errors. Yes, I actually check them, and they still look like this.
Without further ado, here are the questions for Hugo.
- How were you selected for your famous role?
- How are you handling your newfound fame?
- Is it true that you and Goofy are having an off-screen romance?
- Is it also true that Goofy is now cheating on you with Tickle-Me-Elmo?
- What advice do you have for other genitalia impaired actors?
- If you could say anything to E.L. James, what would you say?
- Are you secretly gay? Kate told me to ask that one.
- Is it true that you spent time with those guys in the white coats?
- What are planning next in your career?
- How DO your pants hang?
So now we’ll just wait for a response. Let the nagging commence. And I’ll see if I can catch up to any other fictional characters in the meantime.
Just so you know Hugo is very temperamental and quite evil, but he is considering your interview. He’s talking to his publicist right now. Oh, and he just said he wants a lock of your hair before he agrees to anything. See–he’s a creep.
At least he didn’t ask for my underwear.
At least he didn’t specify what hair.
I didn’t even think of that one. Thanks. Ugh.