So we’re back again. I apologize for the length of time between posts (in case you’ve noticed or something) but programming is a real pain what with the writer’s strike and all. But we’re back to finish off the interviews so that we can then finish off the contestants. And now, once again, is everyone’s favorite sociopath, Prince Hans.
First up are our tributes from Agrabah, that great city where they cut off your ear if they don’t like your face (actual original lyrics). Let’s give a warm welcome to Aladdin.
Next is Aladdin’s beautiful prize er bride, Princess Jasmine.
Next we have . . . oh wait there seems to be a problem. Did Hans lose something important?
Moving on, we have the tributes from the China-ish district. Everyone give it up for Mulan!
Next up the commander in chief who looks really nice with his shirt off (so some say) and sings the best song ever about being a man. Uh, anyway, let’s get down to business and say hello to Li Shang.
Our final interviews, at last! Let’s hear some from the Hairland district, starting with Flynn Rider.
Welcome Rapunzel, she of the really, really, really long hair . . . that she once had but now is short and brown. Except when she apparently wears blond wigs to please the children cause let’s face it, that’s her whole calling card there, the hair.
While Hans searches for his stolen property, let us wish luck to our candidates out there. May the best, or sneakiest, person win. You can still get your votes in to see 1) Who wins 2) Who bites it first . . . and second and third and so on . . .and 3) Just how deranged is Alice? Here are some earlier votes:
List of X
I’m going to go with Team Mulan. Unlike many others in the Games, they both have had military training and know how to survive in the wilderness. Also, if I remember correctly, Mulan has a pet fire-breathing dragon (which she should make sure to keep away from Philip) which is great for reconnaissance and starting fires.
I’ll tell you how Cinderella is going to win – just before the games, a fairy godmother is going to show up and give Cindy some combat boots, an M-16 rifle with unlimited ammo, and a tank to ride to the arena. The only condition is that she’ll have to kill everyone before midnight.
The one with the triplets, or the last one…sorry but I’m too lazy to keep them straight. Of course, they will probably go first.
Merida or Mulan I predict will be finalists.
I bet the winner will be someone quite unexpected. I’m betting Ariel will either die first or win.
Personally, I’m rooting for the raccoon thing from Pocahontas. What the hell was his name…?
So we’ve got a couple votes in for Mulan and Merida, a possible win or death for Ariel, and the raccoon thing from Pocahontas. There’s still time to get your guesses in before the games begin! Winners will get Evil Squirrel’s Sparkly Pony from my last contest. He doesn’t know he’s donated yet, but it just seems proper. Or maybe just the knowledge that you, yes you, predicted who would massacre the most princes and princesses in a pretend contest on a silly blog. You could put it on your resume!
See you soon. And may the odds be forever in your favor.