Tag Archives: Hunger Games

What if we put presidential candidates in the Hunger Games?

This race would be over a lot faster, that’s what!  Yes, I know I did this before with Disney characters, but this time I finished it.  We now have a victor, chosen by the arena after the candidates ruthlessly murder each other TO DEATH.  I think this is a modest proposal, considering how bloody politics can be anyway.  I was able to follow our candidates as they fought to the death thanks to a generator Thing One found called BrantSteele Hunger Games. You can try it later, with people of your choice!  They don’t have to be real people (I’m still wondering on Trump) or alive (note the inclusion of Ronald Reagan who does quite well, considering).  This is a much easier way of getting even with people than playing Oregon Trail and purposely flying through the game so that all the kids you don’t like in school die of Dysentery.  Not that I know anything about that.

But enough listening to people barf out stupid opinions on things they know nothing about, on with the games!  The generator randomly (I swear) makes stuff happen each day.  I’ll show you the honest-to-goodness results.

Our candidates are all assembled! Whether they ever ran for president, are still running for president, were president, are president, or are dead is unimportant, just like in the debates.

bloodbath part one

Note that I goofed on the genders on some of the candidates. I think this would bother them more than the killing part.

Note that I goofed on the genders on some of the candidates. I think this would bother them more than the killing part.

No deaths this time, but I like how Hillary stopped to pick some flowers. So like her!

No deaths this time, but I like how Hillary stopped to pick some flowers. So like her!

First two ruthlessly booted off the island! Bummer, guys.

First two ruthlessly booted off the island! Bummer, guys.

Mike falls on Marco, killing two birdies with one stone! See how much faster this is going?

Mike falls on Marco, killing two birdies with one stone! See how much faster this is going?

Carly, Scott, and O'Malley (what was his first name?) are out and Dan questions her sanity, since he is now a she thanks to me.

Carly, Scott, and O’Malley (what was his first name?) are out and Dan questions her sanity, since he is now a she thanks to me.

Favorite part? Rick Santorum crying himself to sleep. Aw.

Sucks to be Bernie. Bush Jr falling into a frozen lake is not that surprising. Favorite part? Rick Santorum crying himself to sleep. Aw.

Wow, all those people to kill off Bush Sr? He's not that fast these days . . .

Wow, all those people to kill off Bush Sr? He’s not that fast these days . . . Also Trump scares EVERYONE off, not just Jeb.

DANG, guys! These candidates be feisty! Maybe they should be the ones going to war?

DANG, guys! These candidates be feisty! Maybe they should be the ones going to war?

Hatchets - talk about your awesome campaign contributions. I like that Barack hums.

Hatchets – talk about your awesome campaign contributions. I like that Barack hums.

Hillary probably daydreams about bashing his head against a rock. Horrible? Yes. Good television? You betcha!

Hillary probably daydreams about bashing his head against a rock. Horrible? Yes. Good television? You betcha!

And then there were three. Nothing can stop Ron Reagan!

And then there were three. Nothing can stop Ron Reagan!

I bet they do! I sense an end to the campaign coming!

I bet they do! I sense an end to the campaign coming!

Yawn, this is getting like the real debates. Get ON with it.

Yawn, this is getting like the real debates. Get ON with it.

Aw, now Megyn will never learn the truth about Santa!

Aw, now Megyn will never learn the truth about Santa!

Lesson? Really, guys, don't screw with Hillary!

Lesson? Really, guys, don’t screw with Hillary!

Six days and we have a victor! I think we should do it this way every time!

Six days and we have a victor! I think we should do it this way every time!

Sure, you might not have gotten the winner you wanted, but it sure beat suffering through four years of campaigning only to not get the winner you wanted, right?  Mr. Trump, I apologize for you not winning. Also for having to go potty.  Please do not send wild monkey mutts after me.  Thanks.

Alice

 

Disney Hunger Games Begin! Finally!

So I don’t know if you remember, but the Things and I were working on the first annual Disney Hunger Games.  My original hope was that if this took off we could then put actual Disney Channel actors into the games and have them fight it out.  Oh I wouldn’t kill them, just mess up their overcaked makeup a little and see how fast they can run in those spike heels that every kid naturally wears to real high school.  Anyhoo – if you’re interested in seeing how all this started, here’s a link (LINK DROP) to the beginning of this fabulous idea that any day now Disney, or probably one of their enemies, is going to pay me big money to produce for them.

Like many great endeavors, at least mine, this one has not taken off due to us being very busy what with starting school, sharing germs, randomly scanning the internet, staring into space, and whining that it is too hot to take the dolls outside.  But I will say that we did at least get the first day of the games completed, and those pictures have been patiently waiting on my computer to see the light of day.  This is some great stuff people, better than all that gossip about that reality show about the family with 27 kids who shockingly are not quite as religious as they said they were.

So here we go.  Day one.  The contestants are gathered in the arena!  It might resemble a trampoline, but don’t be fooled by our small budget.  It’s an arena.  Whoever guesses what we used for the Cornucopia (where the contestants fight to the death for swords and backpacks and stuff) gets a gold star.

Our happy contestants

Our happy contestants

Let the games begin!  We will see what their beginning strategies are – will they go for the weapons, Target back packs, gum, etc?  Or will they head for the hills in terror?

The cornucopia containing fabulous prizes!

The cornucopia containing fabulous prizes!

This is much like the Price is Right, if on the Price is Right the contestants had to bid on the Showcase Showdown while under enemy fire.  A show of hands for everyone who thinks that would make an awesome game show!

The timer goes off, and there are heroes go – many off into the forest in a panic.  Ain’t nothin’ worth an arrow, not even the bag of Doritos.  But a few brave souls ventured toward the cornucopia, including Mulan, Li Shang, Merida, the triplets, Beast, and probably a couple others we don’t remember.  Aladdin and Flynn wisely sent their animal companions.  Prince Phillip, another of the few princes who actually, at one time anyway, came equipped with a sword, had to first take Aurora out of harm’s way, because she had once again fallen asleep.

This really isn't a good time, honey!

This really isn’t a good time, honey!

Unfortunately, we weren’t able to get all the footage due to an unfortunate computer SD card incident.  No I do not have a fancy smancy smart phone that does awesome pictures just like that.  If you would like to send me one, email me at aliceisatwonderland@hotmail.com and I’ll happily give you my address.  Thank you.

There were pictures, no really, of all the awesome weapons including a bow and arrow, a mace, an axe (all from a Singing Merida playset – no seriously, all were accessories.  Best girl doll ever.), a sword, a lightsaber, some armor, and various other crap we could fit in the hamster playground er Cornucopia!  Which is not at all like a horn of plenty, unless said horn was packed with weapons, which would have made for a more interesting Thanksgiving story.

There were also awesome fighting pictures, but things got a little blurry.  Merida fired an arrow into John Smith’s behind, and Mulan kicked Phillip right in the family jewels.  It was fantastic, I mean horrific mass hysteria.  Here is one preserved shot.

Oh the horror, the horror.

Oh the horror, the horror.

Sadly, we also had our first deaths.  First was Tinkerbell, knocked down hard when Beast muttered that he did not believe in fairies.  And then Peter Pan tried to take revenge, but due to his current tiny size, he was accidentally stepped on by the Beast.  The beast felt kind of bad about it.  But then came the worst, most gruesome, death of the day.

Snow White, attracted by the shiny apple in the cornucopia, picked up a bow that was in the way.  And then the Brave triplets arrived.

snow in cornucopia

Snow: Oooh shiny. Shiny, shiny! (Note Abu, Meeko, and a couple of forest animals taking some of the haul)

A bow and arrows! Neato!

A bow and arrows! Neato!

The wee little devil triplets wanted that bow for their sister.

The wee little devil triplets wanted that bow for their sister.

Not sure which is creepier - that they cut off her head, or their innocent looks while doing so.

Not sure which is creepier – that they cut off her head, or their innocent looks while doing so.

That’s right, we’ve gone hard core and it’s gonna be tough to swing that G rating now, but if Hunchback of Notre Dame could do it, there’s hope.  There were some injuries as well.  Aladdin was hurt by friendly fire when Abu turned rabid and gave him a big love bite.  Will our favorite street rat survive?

Here’s where you guys come in!  In the story, fans were able to give their favorite contestants stuff to help them – like water, soup, burn cream, and anti-monkey venom.  If you want to help them in some way, just write it in the comments.  And please remember to think on poor Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, and Snow White, who gave their lives for a pointless game that I just made up.

Any ideas for next time?  Let us know in the comments below!

Disney Hunger Games: Final Interviews and Predictions

So we’re back again.  I apologize for the length of time between posts (in case you’ve noticed or something) but programming is a real pain what with the writer’s strike and all.  But we’re back to finish off the interviews so that we can then finish off the contestants.  And now, once again, is everyone’s favorite sociopath, Prince Hans.

Haha who are you calling sociopath that's ridiculous!  I'm a nice guy, really.  Just look at my teeth. Now let's finish off these interviews - finally.

Haha who are you calling sociopath?  That’s ridiculous! I’m a nice guy, really. Just look at my teeth.
Now let’s finish off these interviews – finally.

First up are our tributes from Agrabah, that great city where they cut off your ear if they don’t like your face (actual original lyrics).  Let’s give a warm welcome to Aladdin.

Hans: Aladdin, I hear you were born a street rat.  Yet now you are the future sultan, and all because you married a girl.  Nice plan there. Aladdin: I just wanted the girl. Hans: Sure you did.

Hans: Aladdin, I hear you were born a street rat. Yet now you are the future sultan, and all because you married a girl. Nice plan there.
Aladdin: I just wanted the girl.
Hans: Sure you did.

Hans: What is your strategy for winning the games? Aladdin: Well it's totally not going to have anything to do with monkeys or tigers or flying carpets or all powerful genies.  Trust me.

Hans: What is your strategy for winning the games?
Aladdin: Well it’s totally not going to have anything to do with monkeys or tigers or flying carpets or all powerful genies. Trust me.  Hans: I’ve heard you are a lying thief, yet still got to be the hero. What gives?  Aladdin: Well I don’t spend a lot of time playing with ponies. Hans: Hey, ponies are great . . . who told you?  Aladdin: Gotta go – one step ahead you know!

Next is Aladdin’s beautiful prize er bride, Princess Jasmine.

Hans: Princess Jasmine, what a nice dress . . . wait, is that a wedding veil? Jasmine: Yes I was planning a beautiful wedding. Hans: Oh give me a break, someone already tried the wedding idea. Jasmine: Darn that Ariel.  She's such a little brat!

Hans: Princess Jasmine, what a nice dress . . . wait, is that a wedding veil?
Jasmine: Yes I was planning a beautiful wedding.
Hans: Oh give me a break, someone already tried the wedding idea.
Jasmine: Darn that Ariel.  Did I mention I’m expecting? Hans: Next.

Next we have . . . oh wait there seems to be a problem.  Did Hans lose something important?

Hans: Hey, street rat, give me back my wallet!

Hans: Hey, street rat, give me back my wallet!

Moving on, we have the tributes from the China-ish district.  Everyone give it up for Mulan!

Hans: Why Mulan, given up the cross-dressing I see? Mulan: I only dressed as a man to save my father and rescue my country. Hans: Well I think it's great that now everyone sees you in those pretty dresses, just the way women belong!

Hans: Why Mulan, given up the cross-dressing I see?
Mulan: I only dressed as a man to save my father and rescue my country.
Hans: Well I think it’s great that now everyone sees you in those pretty dresses, just the way women belong!

Mulan: I can shoot missiles all the way to the freaking Southern Isles, you jerk! Hans: Not necessary, really, haha . . . um, next?

Mulan: I can shoot missiles all the way to the freaking Southern Isles, you jerk!
Hans: Not necessary, really, haha . . . um, next?

Next up the commander in chief who looks really nice with his shirt off (so some say) and sings the best song ever about being a man.  Uh, anyway, let’s get down to business and say hello to Li Shang.

Li Shang: I happen to like Mulan in her fighting gear!  We practice hitting each other all the time.  Shall I practice on you? Hans: Save if for the games . . . please.

Li Shang: I happen to like Mulan in her fighting gear! We practice hitting each other all the time. Shall I practice on you?
Hans: Save if for the games . . . please.  NEXT!

Our final interviews, at last!  Let’s hear some from the Hairland district, starting with Flynn Rider.

Hans: Greetiings, Mr. Rider.  You have quite a bit in common with Aladdin.  Both of you are thiefs, both of you married beautiful princesses to inherit their kingdoms . . . really, what did I do wrong? Flynn: Maybe the murder part.  Just a guess.  Hey, nice watch. Flynn: Why thank you . . . wait a minute.  Next!

Hans: Greetiings, Mr. Rider. You have quite a bit in common with Aladdin. Both of you are are lying thieves, both of you married beautiful princesses to inherit their kingdoms . . . really, what did I do wrong?
Flynn: Maybe the attempted murder part. Just a guess. Hey, nice watch.
Hans: Why thank you . . . wait a minute. Next!

Welcome Rapunzel, she of the really, really, really long hair . . . that she once had but now is short and brown.  Except when she apparently wears blond wigs to please the children cause let’s face it, that’s her whole calling card there, the hair.

Hans: Hello, Rapunzel.  Um, nice mom cut there. Rapunzel: I know, everyone loves the long blond stuff, but do you realize how much that stuff weight?  Or how much debris I pick up in a single day.  Once I caught a woodchuck. Hans: Nice.  Tell me, do you also have mom jeans? Rapunzel: No but I have a frying pan. Hans: Brown hair is a great look for you.

Hans: Hello, Rapunzel. Um, nice mom cut there.
Rapunzel: I know, everyone loves the long blond stuff, but do you realize how much that stuff weighs? Or how much debris I pick up in a single day. Once I caught a woodchuck.
Hans: Nice. Tell me, do you also have mom jeans?
Rapunzel: No but I have a frying pan.
Hans: Brown hair is a great look for you.

Hans: Well that, thank God, concludes our interviews folks.  Now for the fun stuff.  The killing . . . wait, where is my watch?

Hans: Well that, thank God, concludes our interviews folks. Now for the fun stuff. The killing . . . wait, where is my watch?

Hans: Hey, I want my watch back!  You poop-heads!

Hans: Hey, I want my watch back!   You poop-heads!

While Hans searches for his stolen property, let us wish luck to our candidates out there.  May the best, or sneakiest, person win.  You can still get your votes in to see 1) Who wins 2) Who bites it first . . . and second and third and so on . . .and 3) Just how deranged is Alice?  Here are some earlier votes:

List of X
I’m going to go with Team Mulan. Unlike many others in the Games, they both have had military training and know how to survive in the wilderness. Also, if I remember correctly, Mulan has a pet fire-breathing dragon (which she should make sure to keep away from Philip) which is great for reconnaissance and starting fires.
I’ll tell you how Cinderella is going to win – just before the games, a fairy godmother is going to show up and give Cindy some combat boots, an M-16 rifle with unlimited ammo, and a tank to ride to the arena. The only condition is that she’ll have to kill everyone before midnight.

1jade1
The one with the triplets, or the last one…sorry but I’m too lazy to keep them straight. Of course, they will probably go first.

ravinj
Merida or Mulan I predict will be finalists.

faithhopechocolate
I bet the winner will be someone quite unexpected. I’m betting Ariel will either die first or win.

Mental Mama
Personally, I’m rooting for the raccoon thing from Pocahontas. What the hell was his name…?

So we’ve got a couple votes in for Mulan and Merida, a possible win or death for Ariel, and the raccoon thing from Pocahontas.  There’s still time to get your guesses in before the games begin!  Winners will get Evil Squirrel’s Sparkly Pony from my last contest.  He doesn’t know he’s donated yet, but it just seems proper.  Or maybe just the knowledge that you, yes you, predicted who would massacre the most princes and princesses in a pretend contest on a silly blog.  You could put it on your resume!

See you soon.  And may the odds be forever in your favor.

 

 

Disney Hunger Games: The Interviews Part Two with t2

Disclaimer to the disclaimer: The following words, opinions, and creative forms of grammar are that of Thing 2 and Thing 2 alone.  Alice had nothing to do with it.  She swears.  Now for Thing Two:

Before we start i would just like to note: Hans is a brony but no one knew, and i have no problem with that and neither should you,bronies are NOT gay, people can like what they like and there is no one to stop you and no one should judge anyone that way, its bloody america the only way to stop someone is the bloody law and if you are a brony or like “girl things” don’t be afraid to be yourself and stand up for people, no one can tell you no….you are your own person and they are just a heartless (kingdom hearts reference!) thank you for your time

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                -T2

see! if girls can like ponies than so can boys! and anna agrees!

see! if girls can like ponies than so can boys! and anna agrees!

                                                                                        ——————          ♥     T    ♣   2   ♠       —————

Welcome welcome to more interviews (with thing two!) As i continue to be young and adorable while i typedy type type on mom’s computer, Hans

continues the evil plan. Not many changes have happened, lets recap our last interviews!

Prince p and Aurora

ariel the non mermaid and stupid eric

bella belle and beast

merida and her wee little devil brothers

All the way from the Southern Isles, it's Hans - out on probation!

All the way from the Southern Isles, it’s Hans

Hans: welcome back to the hunger games interviews! Today we will interview the following:

Snow and prince dude

Kristoff and Anna

John smith and Poco

Prince charming and Cindy

Peter pan and Tinkerbell

sora and riku

(i wish i could add sora and riku from kingdom hearts but mom would not allow it)

Hans: Ok now here is our first interview of the day, everyone welcome…… Cinderella!

Hans: so welcome to the show cinder! do you look familar..... cindy: oh your like my rebel dress? i can't belive i was brave anof to show my clean...hairless...beatiful..... hans: ohhhhh okay now lest not get to wild,next!

Hans: so welcome to the show cinder!
do you look familiar…..
Cindy: oh your like my rebel dress? I can’t belive I was brave enough to show my fabulous legs!
Hans: ohhhhh okay now lest not get to wild,next!

Hans: so tell me anna do you hhave any love intrests? Anna:it's none of your busniess sicko

Hans: so tell me anna do you hhave any love interests?
Anna:it’s none of your busniess sicko

well it looks like Hans is playing hook line and sinker….but anna is not taking the bait.

Hans: so kristzofs kris: its kristoff Hans well merry krismas! HAHAHaa? kris: its not funny hans: whoops, heh sorry

Hans: so kristzofs
Kris: its kristoff
Hans: well merry krismas! HAHAHaa?
Kris: it’s not funny
Hans: whoops, heh sorry

kris: NO ONE CALLS ME KRIZOFF!!!! hans: THIS is a bittt too accseesive!!!

Kris: NO ONE CALLS ME KRIZOFF!!!!
Hans: THIS is a bittt too excessive!

Up next uhh……Prince kit…charming…whatever you want to call him

Hans: so charming, tell me a bit about yourself.... pc:Ohhh uh i     like shoes? hans:okay then thats intresting next!

Hans: so charming, tell me a bit about yourself….
P.C.:Ohhh uh i like shoes?
Hans:okay then that’s interesting next!

now its the one and only neverlandian….. PETER PAN!

Hans: whoa peter, what in arendell happed to you? peter: i steped on tink and she turned me tiny and made me look like an elf that kills chickens HAns: well that sucks

Hans: whoa peter, what in arendell happed to you?
Peter: I steped on tink and she turned me tiny and made me look like an *elf that kills chickens
Hans: well that sucks

hans: peter can you please get out from under the couch? peter: not unless you give me a triangle cracker!!! hans: how about a gingerbread house? peter: deal.

Hans: peter can you please get out from under the couch?
peter: not unless you give me a triangle cracker!!!
Hans: how about a gingerbread house?
peter: deal.

up next……… Tinkerbell!

Hans: uhh hi? tink: don't ask buster or i'll fairy dust you butt to the wall

Hans: uhh hi?
tink: don’t ask buster or I’ll fairy dust you butt to the wall

up now is……*drumroll*……Pocahontas!

Hans: so poco how will you plan to win? poco: i plan to not use violance but.....

Hans: so poco how will you plan to win?
Poco: i plan to go if i have to but…..

but..i gave birth to the son of the sun god Hans:uh sorry poco, but we all know what your doing poco: dangnabit poco:UHHH i mean.....ohfolled again?

but..i gave birth to the son of the sun god
Hans:uh sorry poco, but we all know what you’re doing
poco: dangnabit
Poco:UHHH i mean…..ohfolled again?

next is the adventurer and poco’s loved husband (lets pretend the sequel NEVER happened)

hans: so john how do you plan to win the games? john:oh i plan to use my awesome strengh and dramatic posing! hans: you sound so much like your wife! you guys must be a POWER couple!

Hans: so john how do you plan to win the games?
John :oh i plan to use my awesome strength and dramatic posing!
Hans: you sound so much like your wife! you guys must be a POWER couple!

now we interview prince dude!

Hans: so dude do you have any hobbies that you would like to share dude: i like to kiss -derp- Hans: oh thats nnice... dude:their lips are soooo hans:OOOOK TIM next!

Hans: so dude do you have any hobbies that you would like to share
dude: i like to kiss -derp-
Hans: oh thats nnice…
dude:their lips are soooo
hans:OOOOK TMI next!

up next following her super weird and bloody dumb husband….SNOW WHITE!

Snow:OH HIIIIIIII MY NAME IS…. Hans: hello mrs.white, so how are you planning to win the games? snow: OHHHH im not planing to cause violence, I’m going to SING my way out! Hans:well good luck with that

well that’s all for today folks! make sure to leave a comment to vote for who you think should win! (i still think sora and riku should TOTALLY be in the games) and no butts were harmed in the making of this post, or Hans.

stay tuned for PART 3!

anna says to continue watching for part 3! she loves you as much as she loves the plushies in my room :3

Anna says to continue watching for part 3! she loves you as much as she loves the plushies in my room :3

*and here is a little something for people who found out who peter and tink REALLY are

Disney Hunger Games: The Interviews Part One

Sorry for the delay, but the Game Makers have not exactly been concentrating on their duties. (Click to enlarge photos)

The Game Makers have been a little distracted.  Are you surprised it's them?

Are you surprised it’s them?

Anyway, after some quick wardrobe changes with their stylists – Elsa and the Fairy Godmother were worked pretty hard – it is time for the customary pre-game interviews.

First, let me introduce to your our host!

All the way from the Southern Isles, it's Hans - out on probation!

All the way from the Southern Isles, it’s Hans – out on probation!

First up for an interview is Prince Eric from the Atlantis District.  Let’s see what questions Hans has for him.

Hans: Nice to meet you Eric.  How are you enjoying things so far? Eric: Oh, it's really nice up here.  Great seafood. Don't tell Ariel.

Hans: Nice to meet you Eric. How are you enjoying things so far?
Eric: Oh, it’s really nice up here. Great seafood. Don’t tell Ariel.

Ariel: Eric, Eric! Eric: She knows!

Ariel: Eric, Eric!
Eric: She knows!

Hans: Uhh, Ariel, nice to meet you too . . . why are you wearing your wedding dress? Ariel: Because Eric and I were going to get married . . . before . . . the games.  Sob.

Hans: Uhh, Ariel, also from the Atlantis district – nice to meet you too . . . why are you wearing your wedding dress?
Ariel: Because Eric and I were going to get married . . . before . . . the games. Sob.

Hans: Haven't you two been married a while now?  I mean - I saw the rip in Eric's clothes. They don't even fit him. Ariel: Umm . . . no . . . . no just getting married.  It's horrible!

Hans: Haven’t you two been married a while now? I mean – I saw the rip in Eric’s clothes. They don’t even fit him.  And a wedding is not getting you out of the games.
Ariel: Crap.

Next up is Princess Aurora from the Narcolepsy District.

aurora interview1

Hans: Aurora, lovely to meet you. That’s a beautiful dress.    Aurora: Yes, but the fairies couldn’t decide on the color. Pink, blue, pink, blue. I see that in my nightmares you know? Pink or blue? Pink or blue?  It’s exhausting!

Hans: So what skills do you think you'll bring to . . . um, highness? Aurora: zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Hans: So what skills do you think you’ll bring to . . . um, highness?
Aurora: zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

After unloading Aurora from the couch, it was the second tribute from Narcolepsy, Prince Phillip’s, turn.

Hans: Prince Phillip, welcome.  I hear you once killed a dragon.  Do you think that gives you an edge? Phillip: Yeah.  A sharp one.

Hans: Prince Phillip, welcome. I hear you once killed a dragon. Do you think that gives you an edge?
Phillip: Yeah. A sharp one.

Moving on. Next on the hot seat are tributes from the French-ish district, starting with Belle.

Hans: Welcome, Belle.  Uh . . . Belle.  Do you - think your team will win? Belle: I'm reading. Hans: But the book doesn't even have any pictures.

Hans: Welcome, Belle. Uh . . . Belle. Do you – think your team will win?
Belle: I’m reading.
Hans: But the book doesn’t even have any pictures.

After Belle finished her chapter, it was Beast’s turn.

Hans: So - Prince . . . Beast?  Those claws should come in handy in the games. Beast: My name is  Adam.  And I am totally suing that enchantress. Hans: But everyone knows you're cooler as the Beast.

Hans: So – Prince . . . Beast? Those claws should come in handy in the games.
Beast: My name is
Adam. And I am totally suing that enchantress.
Hans: But everyone knows you’re cooler as the Beast.

My life sucks.

Beast: My life sucks.

And now time for the last interviews of the day : welcome the Clan Du -whatever district.  First up is Merida.

Hans: Merida, tell me about yourself. Merida: I AM MERIDA, FIRST BORN DESCENDENT OF CLAN DUNBROCH!

Hans: Merida, tell me about yourself.
Merida: I AM MERIDA, FIRST BORN DESCENDENT OF CLAN DUNBROCH!

Elinor: Get away from my daughter!  I can be a reaaaal mother bear! Merida: Muuum, yer embarrasing meee! Hans: Security!

Elinor: Get away from my daughter! I can be a reaaaal mother bear!
Merida: Muuum, yer embarrasing meee!
Hans: Security!

Next up are the triplet tributes, Hammock, Hammich, and Hummus . . . or . . . whatever their names are.

Hans: They're bears. Are we serious?  Are we really doing this?

Hans: They’re bears. Are we serious? Are we really doing this?

Triplets: Hiiiiii!  Got any porridge? Hans: Will someone get the three bears here off my lap?

Triplets: Hiiiiii! Got any porridge?
Hans: Will someone get the three bears here off my lap?

Hans: Seriously . . . now they're just staring at me.  And licking their lips.  Anyone?

Hans: Seriously . . . now they’re just staring at me. And licking their lips. Anyone?

Merida: Oh, dear, my bad!  They'll be back to normal soon!  I hope. Hans: I should have stayed in prison.

Merida: Oh, dear, my bad! They’ll be back to normal soon! I hope.
Hans: I should have stayed in prison

Hans: Well that's all for today, but stay tuned for the rest of the interviews.  After the Beast and those bears I need some freaking Zyrtec.

Hans: Well that’s all for today, but stay tuned for the rest of the interviews. After the Beast and those bears I need some freaking Zyrtec.

Still 9 districts left to go!  How will interviews go with the others?  Anna?  Aladdin?  Mulan?  Those other guys?  Will we get to the killing and stuff already?  Stay tuned.

. . . . . To be continued.  These posts may last as long as the movies!

Disney Hunger Games!

The Things and I were playing with Disney dolls and they decided to bring in the Hunger Games dolls.  An idea was born.  Intro by Thing One.

The Disney world was enjoying their happily-ever-afters when a new corrupted Disney executive came up with the idea of having the royalty fight to the death to bring back their popularity and get more money for the Disney Empire.  Now the princes and princesses (mostly) find themselves facing life or death as they are chosen to fight in the new Disney Hunger Games.  There can be only one survivor.

Tributes

District of Arendelle

kristoff and anna

Kristoff and Anna

Pro: Kristoff can cut ice and command a reindeer.  Anna can punch.

Con: Both are so gosh darn adorkable.

District of French-ish town

ballroom scene beauty

Belle and Beast

Pro: Beast can toss around wolves.  Belle has book smarts

Con: Beast is confused because he was a prince then a beast then a prince then a beast again. Belle might trip over ballgown.

District of Neverland

peter and tinkerbelle

Peter Pan and Tinkerbell

Pro: Peter can fly and sword fight.  Tinkerbell can fly and is willing to murder her competition.

Con: Peter will never grow up.  Tinkerbell can be taken out by saying “I don’t believe in fairies.”

District of Appleton

snow white three

Snow White and Prince Dude

Pro: Snow White can summon cute animal creatures.  Prince Dude can wake dead with kiss power.

Con: Snow White is the most gullible person in the universe.  Prince Dude is kinda creepy.

District of Narcolepsy

sleeping beauty

Phillip and Aurora

Pro: Aurora can also summon woodland creatures.  Phillip can fight a freaking dragon.

Con: Aurora is very sleepy.  Phillip had to have fairy help with the dragon.

District of China-ish town

mulan and li shang picture

Mulan and Li Shang

Pro: Mulan and Li Shang can kick butt

Con: Their sequel sucked.

District of Blue Corn Moon

john smith and pocahontas

Pocahontas and John Smith

Pro: John Smith can jump off ships and climb mountains.  Pocahontas has leaf powers.

Con: John Smith got taken out with one little bullet.  Pocahontas steals cubs from bears.

District of Agrabah

aladdin and jasmine1

Aladdin and Jasmine

Pro: Aladdin familiar with running for his life.  Jasmine can act.

Con:   Jasmine can’t even grocery shop.  Aladdin lies and steals and – wait that’s a pro.

District of Atlantis

mermaid boat ride

Ariel and Eric

Pro: Ariel is willing to risk lives for her own cause.  Eric can impale a sea witch.

Con: Ariel still mastering the walking, talking thing.  Eric is cute but falls for hypnosis way too easily.

District of Clan Dunbroch

merida and brothers

Merida and Triplet brothers (count as one)

Pro: Merida can kick butt.  Triplets can cause havoc.

Con: Merida not the most strategic planner (mom becomes bear).  Triplets can cause havoc.

District of Disneyland Kingdom

cinderella bachelorette

Cinderella and Charming

Pro: Cinderella can handle a broom and command mice and birds.  Charming can, um, dance well?

Con: Cinderella is way too nice.  Charming can’t figure out his dream girl without a shoe.

District of Hairland

rapunzel and flynn

Rapunzel and Flynn

Pro: Rapunzel good with a frying pan.  Flynn familiar with running for his life.

Con: Rapunzel obsessed with lanterns.  Flynn lies and steals and – wait that’s a pro right?

Who will go out first?  And how?  Will the couples kill each other?  Who will form the first alliances?  And most importantly – who will be the one survivor?
Please give your guesses in the comments below.  They are as good as ours.
                                                               . . . To be continued . . .