Presents of Spam from E.L. James

So I was obsessing thinking about E.L. James again, and wondering what else she was up to these days.  Then I read Miss Four Eyes’ blog post about spam and decided to check my own folder.  As it turns out, James is spamming my blog.  Though she used sneaky pseudonyms, I’m pretty sure it’s her.  Who else has such a way with words?  Observe.

Lookie!  The computer barfed up some email!

Lookie! The computer barfed up some email!

I think this is a powerfull site with a lot interesting blogposts about this stuff. And i just wanna thank you for this. I’ll subscribe to your website to see if you post more stuff like these!

It’s true, I do write about stuff.  I’m sure I’ll post more stuff like these really soon.  Thanks.

I discovered your blog site on google and check a few of your early posts. Continue to keep up the very good operate. I just additional up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking forward to reading more from you later on!…

I always love to hear about people seeking forward to reading.  But I’m not sure I should operate, as I don’t have one of those degree thingys.

Last van erectiestoornissen? Dan is viagra echt iets voor jou! Viagra zorgt er namelijk voor de bloedvaten in de penis zich makkelijker kunnen ontspannen waardoor erectieproblemen tot de verleden tijd behoren. Wil je direct viagra kopen? Dan kan dat natuurlijk ook!

I’m thinking this is in another language.  Like possibly Klingon.  I did recognize a couple words in there.  Like direct.  I wonder what she’s trying to sell me.

this article gives the light in which we can observe the reality. this is particularly a nice one and gives in-depth information. thanks for this nice article

Who knew James was a poet?

hey, i like your valuable article in which you have described very well with point wise.

I sure do describe well, point wise I mean.

Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the net the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get irked while people consider worries that they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

Me too!  That is SO annoying when people consider worries they don’t realize they’re having.  But at least I hit the nail without any side effects, like thumb breakage.

I simply want to mention I’m beginner to blogs and truly savored your web site. Probably I’m planning to bookmark your blog post . You actually come with tremendous article content. Many thanks for sharing your web site.

Probably I’m going to check out your site.  But probably not.

great and educative content, thanks for being so important for the education

I’m beginning to think James doesn’t really read my blog.

Well, that’s all for now.   It was so nice of James to leave me all those comments, when I haven’t left her one!  I did see that I could bother follow her on Twitter.  I’m sure she has much interesting light in which we can observe the reality.  I am seeking forward to hearing from her soon.

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44 responses

  1. LOL the Klingon is Dutch. You don’t want to know what it says, you really don’t xD I also don’t expect her to know our language that well though, as she already does so much effort to write English-like sentences, so this must be another great writer 😉

    1. Pretty sure I could read a few choice words in there. So it’s Dutch, huh? Viagra in Dutch is Viagra!

      1. Yes, Dutch! Dutch to me sounds like a mix between English and German spoken by a two- to three-year old.

    2. Haha and thank you TAE =P So normally I sound like some kind of lunatic toddler to you

      1. I’m pretty sure I sound like a lunatic toddler, and I’m not Dutch.

  2. I get a kick out of some of these spam comments. I mean, if someone was smart enough to devise a program that can surf the web and leave comments on multiple blog posts, surely they could at least form a coherent sentence, right? Right? Well, I guess not…

    1. You would think. The sentences are hilariously bad. Like if I were to try to say something in Spanish, in spite of having years of in it high school and college. Or, say, if James were to try to say something in English.

      1. Yeah, I’ve heard about, but not read, any of her “literature.” I’m in no hurry to do so, either.

        1. You must so that you can learn that romance is being a total jerk to your significant other.

          1. Yeah, that hasn’t worked out well for me. Quite the opposite, in fact.

  3. Haha! Only James would write such things.
    I put the Klingon one through Google Translate, she thinks you suffer from erectile dysfunction. “Viagra makes sure the blood vessels in the penis to relax allowing easier erection problems belong to the past.” James would say that.

    Follow her on Twitter! I dare you.

    1. Google Translate? You are genius! I wonder if we could put 50 Shades through that? I bet we’d break it. So glad to know Viagra helps these “easier” problems belong to the past.

      I’m tempted, but then I’d have to read more of her crap.

      1. عدم القدرة على الانتصاب That’s Erectile dysfunction in Arabic, you’re welcome.
        I tried translated the 50 Shades of Grey to many languages and then back to English (yes I’m bored at work)to see if it would mess it up, I’m sorry to inform you that the experiment doesn’t work

        1. It does get funny if you translate through 3 or 4 unrelated languages the. Back to English.

  4. Haha MissFourEyes, I tried to keep others in blissful ignorance, and now you spoiled it =P

    1. I probably deserve it for taking away their innocence by attempting to translate 50 Shades.

  5. Maybe you could compare the “style” of the emails with EL’s? It could be a thesis paper…

    1. A thesis on E.L. James? Can you imagine? I bet someone has done it. You just know they have.

      1. Yeah…somehow I’m sure about it. I shall investigate.

      2. There are some truly hilarious reviews on Amazon. I had one post just with the titles of them – 50 Shades of Stupid, 50 Shades of Suck, etc. Most of the negative reviews are better than the book. What am I saying? All of them are.

  6. Who ever inserted “probably” in a spam should be fireded.

    1. I found that amusing too. Not sure what word they were aiming for there.

  7. The stuff you write Alice.

    1. No, no, that was all E.L.! Wouldn’t (ever) want to take credit for her!

  8. Hehe much more innovative than the ‘letters’ I get from people who think I’m a man called melanie and would be interested in watching them dance on a website through their free voucher. Ah the good old Viagra adverts, where would we be without them!
    Alice you do make me giggle thank you! xx

    1. No, thank you for encouraging me (some might not thank you for that :D) A man named Melanie who watches people dance – sounds like fun and not at all weird!

  9. hahaha. Too funny. That E.L. She doesn’t give up. My fav, “You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect.” What the…

    1. I know. I saw those and it was like reading that Jabberwock poem. Pretty sure they were aiming for something here, but what?

  10. I like it so much I have a page for the best of it. Why are all the penis-error spams in Dutch? Do the Dutch have awesome penises? Do they stride the world with massive and engorged wangs declaring us other mortals puny of phallus, decrepit of dick, dire of dong, dreadful in the danglers, catastrophically cocked, mournfully membered, sadly schlonged, twice bereft of tummy banana, pathetically sad of pork sword? Do they?!

    1. You have to wonder. All I know about the Dutch is the wooden shoe thing. I can’t imagine that we Americans could have screwed that up. I’m sure they still wear those, like, all the time. Will have to ask dreamingalynia.

      But, wow, fabulous adjectives there. You should work for Viagra. And I have to check out your page.

  11. Alice – hilarious! Sorry for your attacking spam though – I have been dealt a couple over the last few days too. As for Panda’s comment – I can’t stop laughing at that also.
    Your answers/comments are witty. Ahhh James (as us Aussies would say) just bugger off. 🙂

    1. Panda is pretty damn funny. He can even be funny in poems. You’re an Aussie? I love meeting all you fereigners. Seriously, it is really cool to know people from so many different places. And “bugger off” is one of my favorite sayings.

  12. I’m not sure it’s her. She did not once describe herself as confounded…

    1. Good point. There was no “jeez” either. Hmmm.

  13. “Dear Madam, I am so very intrigued by your topics and writing. I think many others should feel the same way. Lovely work deserves to be recognized as such.”

    Sender: “XXXpornvoyeurs.something”

    The messages are always so horribly poetic.

    1. Aw, I’m touched, XXX – no, wait, not like that!

  14. I have a lot of the bad sentence structures too. The ones I wonder how Askimet missed are when they’re from “sex” or “erectile dysfunction”

    1. You don’t know bad sentence structure until you read a bunch of Freshman composition papers. One I read had no punctuation – at all – in the entire paper. I was really breathless by the end there. At least no one talked about E.D.

  15. I was going to guess Dutch. It looks kinda like German, only not, and has more cognates with English. Also, Klingon is an agglutinated language, which that obviously wasn’t.

    1. True. Klingon is a lot more like Hebrew, I think. All the hacking and whatnot.

  16. It’s nice to know she loves you. 😀 😉

    1. It makes me all warm and sweaty inside. 😀

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