Proper Grammar with Boogers

Oooh, oooh, I can’t decide!!!

Hi, all!  You may not remember (I didn’t) but two years ago I wrote a post entitled “Ten Things to Do With a Picked Booger”.  It wasn’t that impressive, booger-wise, just a top ten list. This post generated a lot of comments, as most of my highly intellectual posts do, but just the other day it got a new comment!  I am always excited to see new comments, especially when they are like this one.  I’m not even sure how to describe it.  Let’s say it’s better than the comment on the Dragon Tail’s Review post in which I was called a “40-year-old farthead”.  See for yourself!

Hiiii, Dorman!

This is my first response to dear Dorman.  I have so much to say.  First off, thank you for making a simple blogger very happy.  I haven’t had such a good laugh in a while.  Here are some other questions, off the top of my head.

1. What exactly was your “random search”?  Was it for boogers?  Do you search the Internet looking for posts to grammar check?  Specifically booger posts?
2. Did you like my fragments there?  Feel free to point out other errors.  I will save them up in my heart.
3. You realize this was a post about boogers, right?
4. I do have advanced degrees.  I have a B.A. and an M.A. in English and an MLS in Library Science.  I like to collect degrees, then completely ignore them.
5. Thanks for letting me know that I can improve my comedic timing with a couple of well-placed colons and apostrophes.  I bet you are a laugh a minute: really!
6. Do and not do not equal don’t. They equal “donot”, or using the proper English spelling, “donut”.
7. You aren’t Shakespeare and, thusly, do not sally forth. 
8. My Corps of Creative Types can beat up your honor student.

Allow me to present to you this badge, Dorman.

If you think this comment was bizarre all by itself, then get ready.  I showed this comment to a few people, and my old friend begged to answer it.  Ravin’s response was, to my delight, followed by more responses by Dorman. Thank you so much for not just performing a drive-by grammar run.  This is much better.

You can check the original post for all the comments at the bottom of the page, though they are unbelievably, and hilariously, long.  We are talking my lawyer friend with the genius I.Q. versus a blogger who probably sleeps with a grammar text.  This is the kind of thing you just can’t make up.

I do have some quotes I’ll use with proper quotations (or close enough).  My friend informed Dorman that I had advanced degrees.  Response: “George “Dubya” Bush has “advanced degrees”. You’re misinterpretation of my gentle nudge is sad, and likely testosterone-fuelled.”

“That wasn’t funny, Dorman! I talk good!”

I’m wondering how exactly ol’ (see what I did there!) Dorman knew my friend was male, much less infused with lots of testosterone.  We’re talking a grammar argument here.  These are not generally considered overtly masculine.  I’ve never heard Arnold Schwarzenegger engage in one during a fire-fight.  I’m not even sure what sex Dorman is, so I’ll just refer to Dorman with the pronoun “it” until I have confirmation.

Here’s some other good ones.  Ravin suggested Dorman leave as we were all full up with crazy.  Response: “You’re entirely correct: ’cause “aliceatwonderland” is waaaaaaaaaaay overstocked.”  Thanks, Dorman! Crazy was exactly what I was aiming for, but you helped!

One last bit from my new friend.

Is twit-wit in the dictionary, or are you being ‘funny’ with us, Dorman? Ha: ha’.

I hope you, my readers, are properly educated by this post.  If you glance at the old post, you’ll see that some of you were there!  Ah, what a long, twisted, twisted road we’ve walked metaphorically.  Anyhoo, please leave comments below.  Hopefully Dorman will come back!

P.S. Dorman: My generation was not born with I-Pads and such.  We were born in the mid 1970s, so I guess you could call us “flower infants”.  How old are you?  Congrats on mastering the keyboard!

~ Alice