Okay, so I wrote a post mocking Game of Thrones already, but I hadn’t actually seen it because cheap.  But then I saw that they had season one at the library, so I figured it definitely beat doing the dishes, and I checked it out.  I watched the first episode last night.  I was going to give you a summary, but I thought it might be better if I put it to the tune of “The Brady Bunch.”  Here you go.

Everybody sing!

The Game of Thrones Bunch

It’s the story

of a man named Ned Stark

who was bringing up five kids and a bastard

All the sons they had dark hair

Like their father

Kinda hard to tell them apart.

It’s the story

of a king named Robert

Who was bringing up three kids who weren’t his own

That’s because his wife Cersei

banged her brother

It’s really kinda gross.

It’s the story

of a girl named Dany

whose brother was a really big creeper

he sold her to a barbarian

wearing makeup

like Johnny Depp on steroids

It’s the story

of a drawf named Tyrion

who is definitely the best character

He gets all of the best lines

and has a big peen

He likes to drink and whore

It’s the story

of a bunch of prostitutes

who love being nakey and gig-gi-ling

they have lots and lots of sex

and totes enjoy it

Cause prostitution’s fun!

It’s the story

of a bunch of zombies

who murder, maim and frolic in the woods

they are really kind of cool

but people tell me

they hardly ever show up

And then one day when the king

he came to Lord Ned

And he asked him to be his right hand man

It’s a very risky job and most dudes die quick

And besides all that there is no dental plan

The Game of Thrones

The Game of Thrones

That’s how it goes so far

On the Game of Thrones

I know, that should totally replace the admittedly cool theme song they have right now.  And I’ll also admit, the first episode wasn’t bad.  It started with a zombie girl pinned to a tree and ended with another kid being pushed out a window, but who likes kids anyway?  They’re seriously annoying.  I’m told he kills off most of his characters, but at the moment I can’t say I’ll be all that sad if a larger percentage of them die, except the dwarf.  Then all bets are off.

Anyhoo, since I’m clearly going to keep watching this mess for a while, is there anyone who would like me to give it more coverage?  I mean, I need breaks of fictional asshattery in between the “real life” asshattery.  What do ya think?